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2 year old not coping with newborn and I'm not coping with him

(10 Posts)
Pyjamadonkey Thu 13-Mar-14 19:45:38

Advice needed please!!!!

We have a 7week old and a 2.3 year old who is really struggling to cope with his new sibling/rival. He is tantrumming non stop, particularly when I'm breastfeeding DC2 and is constantly demanding cuddles, to be picked up and had now started asking to feed from me too. We are giving him more attention than ever, make certain he gets loads of cuddles, particularly after I've fed the baby but nothing seems to please him.

I've been trying to cut him done slack however his behaviour is wearing me and DH down.

What is the best way for dealing with tantrums in a child that is struggling emotionally from all the changes in his life? To top it off we are immigrating in 6 weeks (not sure how much of this he is aware of and how it's going to worsen things)

Pyjamadonkey Thu 13-Mar-14 22:15:07

Anybody?? He's now crying inconsolably in his cot

ImAMonkeyMess Thu 13-Mar-14 22:19:43

You poor things, all of you. This is the hardest bit - it will get better. I'm sure you'll get loads of great advice in a minute, but in the meantime here's a virtual shoulder squeeze.

Fluffalump Thu 13-Mar-14 22:27:58

I had twins when my oldest was 2 so I know exactly where you are coming from, someone said to me if you can give the 2 year old an hour of your attention they cope far better with the baby and I have to say it worked for me and when the babies had a nap I prioritized playing with her/ reading/ played oh etc over the housework ( I did that in the evening) I also tried to include her with everything we did, so she helped to bath them, fetched the nappies and did little jobs. I made looking after the babies a job for both of us and she really took to it. I also got her some preschool sessions in the mornings twice a week so she could be a 'big girl'. It's really tough when they are still babies themselves really.

TheGreatHunt Fri 14-Mar-14 09:04:16

When you're feeding baby, get a snack or something for toddler. With ds (he was 2.2 when dd arrived) I had a stash of snacks, little cheap toys etc for feeds. Or would stick peppa on.

Dd spent most of her first 3 months in the sling so I could do stuff with ds eg let him help me "cook" or "wash up".

We kept to his routine as much as we could. And got out as much as we could to distract from new baby!

Pyjamadonkey Fri 14-Mar-14 21:54:48

Thanks for the advice. He's been great today and I've given him loads of praise for being helpful. I tried the snack whilst bf which did help although he wanted to be in my lap, so literally had both of them on me. Him with his snack and dd breastfeeding.

abigboydidit Fri 14-Mar-14 21:57:25

Oh you poor thing. DS was 20 months when DD arrived and he seemed to cope really well. Then about 6 months later everything hit the skids! He's not far off 3 now and still has yet to return to feeding himself.. No advice am afraid but lots of empathy!

ToddleWaddle Fri 14-Mar-14 21:59:59

Agree re snacks and watching a little telly together when feeding.
Try and get out with toddler, keep their routine to wear them out a little. Lots of positive praise and telling them how big and grown up they are, little jobs helping too like getting nappies and wipes.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 14-Mar-14 22:03:29

How about some special toys which he only plays with when pure breastfeeding?

stepmooster Fri 14-Mar-14 22:08:17

Hi OP, I have the same problem. I have perfected the art of feeding baby with one arm and playing with DD with the other. I also try feeding DS whilst DD is busy eating a meal. She's too busy scoffing and strapped to her booster seat to care. Now I am weaning DS, I have to give her a little bit of his gloop to pacify her. If all else fails I use cbeebies, Mr Tumble is my secret weapon. I only let her watch it when I need her to leave DS alone, so it's a rare treat for her.

Good luck.

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