Extreme tantrums!(2 Posts)
Please help! I have three children and I am a teacher so consider myself fairly experienced when it comes to child are, however, my two year old (three in June) is pushing me to my limit! He has what I would have called extreme tantrums but maybe my first child was just easy! Around three times a day sometimes more we experience them. They ignite from very simple things for example this morning we were running a little late for the school run and I said we would do his teeth when we got home in 10 minutes well that was it!! He screams, spits, crys uncontrollably ocassionally bites, kicks. He loses it so completely that you cannot talk to him, pick him up etc!!! He simply stops responding, talking, acknowledging etc he looks through you! No amount of bribery etc will stop him I have tried many things! He is tough to control in the first place. I have tried the classic technique of defusing the situation or avoiding something I know that triggers him. However it pretty much happens everytime I ask him not to do something! He simply says no and refuses to come/stop etc. I am pretty firm and will not give in yet he does not seem to be learning from the tantrums and repercussions! I am at a point where positive or negative nothing work in terms of behaviour management or preventing tantrums. When he blows it's so shocking!!! Advise, similar stories to console myself that I have a perfectly normal child!
He is still a bit young to learn from repercussions. My life got easier when my DS turned three and started to understand bribery! (I did my bribery properly though – he always had to do what I wanted before he got the bribe!) In the meantime what you’re doing sounds about right. Limited choices worked well for my DS – as in, would you like this T shirt or that one? Shall we brush teeth before breakfast or after? Generally sticking to routine and doing things in the same order helped. I was mostly able to avoid saying “no” because it was a trigger for tantrums and tell him something positive instead – “WHEN you have your coat on THEN we can go to the park”. When he was old enough countdowns helped to stop him doing things – “let’s put the glass down when I get to zero – 10 -9 -8…” and I could also use "do <whatever> by the time I count to three or <consequence>" But I found two was a tricky age because a lot of strategies just didn't work yet.
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