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he won't wee at pre-school...

(6 Posts)
whatsthemagicword Sun 09-Mar-14 18:37:18

Hello! My nearly 4 year old won't wee at pre-school. He'll wee anywhere else, including the nursery, if I'm there. He doesn't need any help, it's as if he just needs to see I'm around before he'll go. Consequently he's only doing mornings as he can't hold it in any longer than lunchtime. If he does have an accident, generally 5 mins before I pick him up, he refuses to let anyone change him, saying he'll wait for me. The view of the health visitor is not to push the situation as he'll start using the loo when he's ready. My worry is that he's been doing this for over a year and what happens if he isn't 'ready' in September and spends the first few weeks in Reception wetting himself. Part of me wants to let him do a couple of full days in nursery to see whether he'll start going once he realises I won't be picking him up until later. The other part worries that he'll get utterly traumatised by the experience. Anyone else been through this?

TheGreatHunt Sun 09-Mar-14 19:06:09

What have your preschool suggested or tried?

whatsthemagicword Sun 09-Mar-14 19:23:13

incentives such as stickers, a treat at the end of the day etc. All to no avail so far. To be honest, they seem pretty baffled as the only similar cases they've had, have all been fine after a few weeks. When I talk to my son about it, he just says he'll 'wait for mummy'....

beela Sun 09-Mar-14 21:41:22

My ds had an accident and couple of weeks after he started preschool, he was almost 3. After that he was very reluctant to go to the toilet there for a good term or two.

We started by me taking him as soon as we got there and as soon as I picked him up (he only does 3 hours at a time) and then I got his key worker to tell him rather than ask him if they thought he needed a wee during a session (ie 'time to go for a wee now, off we go'). Also the usual stickers, praise etc.

He's now fine and will take himself. There other thing that seems to have helped is that one of the cubicles has a picture of a digger on it and he likes to go in that one!

beela Sun 09-Mar-14 21:43:00

I mean an accident at preschool, I think he forgot to ask to go to the loo.

whatsthemagicword Sun 09-Mar-14 22:07:46

We're at the 'go to the loo when we get there, then sprint to the loo at 12' stage. I too have asked his key worker to say it's time for the loo, rather than ask. He's always flatly refused to go unless, me or his dad are about. Knowing that someone else has been in the situation and that it did change for the better, has made me feel better about school tomorrow so thanks for that!

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