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4 month old, HV says I need to socialise him

(45 Posts)
Sparkeleigh Tue 04-Mar-14 21:03:19

My 4 month old DS is usually happy and smiley and loves looking about him but he's recently started to cry when people he doesn't know or recognise get close to his face or hold him.

I mentioned this in passing to my health visitor and she immediately told me to get him out and socialising. I have to admit, I usually take what she says with a pinch of salt.

We do go out to the shops and for walks but I only occasionally go to baby groups. He loves looking at other babies and people when go anywhere, he only gets upset if strangers touch his face, or lean over him closely or hold him.

Is this just a phase? I'm not keen on passing him round like a parcel to get him used to it if it's not necessary and I'm not even sure this is actually a problem that needs resolved...

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 04-Mar-14 21:05:16

Smile and nod. Then ignore. They have to say something grin

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 04-Mar-14 21:05:50

I'd take this one with a huge pinch of salt too smile

Cringechilli Tue 04-Mar-14 21:06:14

Load of bullshit. He's a little baby, he needs love and milk.

ilovepowerhoop Tue 04-Mar-14 21:08:29

sounds like stranger anxiety and is a phase. you have separation anxiety to look forward to as well!

curiousuze Tue 04-Mar-14 21:10:13

Big fat hairy balls. Keep your lovely baby all to yourself!

GiveTwoSheets Tue 04-Mar-14 21:10:48


Babies go through a few fazes of crying at strangers, think next one round about 8months. Dd burst into tears at old people DS was opposite just cry at ladies. Nothing to do with socialising IMO

VoyageDeVerity Tue 04-Mar-14 21:11:43

What a load of nonsense

I'm totally with love and milk!!

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 04-Mar-14 21:13:10

Anything a health visitor says, just take with a pinch of salt or tell her to fuck off.

HannahLaRouge Tue 04-Mar-14 21:13:28

My 4 month old is going through this - cries at anyone who isn't me or his dad. Seems to be getting better now though,pretty sure it's just a phase

KatOD Tue 04-Mar-14 21:13:57

Love, cuddles, milk, it's a phase. Socialising at 4 months? Good luck with that ?!?

NatashaBee Tue 04-Mar-14 21:15:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imip Tue 04-Mar-14 21:17:07

Yes, bullshit.... He just needs you....

Sparkeleigh Tue 04-Mar-14 21:20:28

Thank you everyone! I'm relived at the unanimous verdict smile I though it sounded daft but I began to doubt myself!

NatashaBee - that would actually be hilarious, I'd be tempted grin

duchesse Tue 04-Mar-14 21:20:44

Sounds like your HV is confusing 4 with 18. hmm

If I were in a forgiving mood with your HV I might suppose that maybe she is trying to get you out of the house and socialising?

KinderBoris Tue 04-Mar-14 21:21:40

Socialising at four months? Er, I'm sure he'll be fine!

I took my dc to softplay at about five months. He really erm,enjoyed lying on the mat looking at the balls from the ballpit. I even lay next to him for a while. My mother sat nearby looking at me oddly. I cringe.

He sounds like he's got a good sensible mum in you op. Just smile and nod. grin

Homelander Tue 04-Mar-14 21:25:05

My DD was exactly the same when she turned 4 months, it happened almost over night around 16 weeks. It is a phase and will pass, it did take a few months though. To be honest, although she no longer cries at strangers getting too close, she still looks at them with really evil looks rather suspiciously and she is almost 2 now!

Firsttimmemummy Tue 04-Mar-14 21:27:19

My 4 month old does this when she is tired, she even cries at her daddy and he is lovely! Only I am good enough at the moment. And I socialise her LOADS. Don't worry about it. xxx

NK2b1f2 Tue 04-Mar-14 21:27:29

Socialise a baby? Now I've heard everything.... What utter nonsense. dd2 beamed at anyone and everyone and was a very friendly and smiley baby. dd1 scowled at everyone and didn't want to know. They are both gorgeous, quiet, confident, happy within themselves, and neither of them needed to be socialised at 4 months old. Where do health visitors learn this crap?

NatashaBee Tue 04-Mar-14 21:27:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparkeleigh Tue 04-Mar-14 21:30:56

Duchesse - you may be onto something, she was strangely obsessed with getting me to leave the house when he was a few weeks old. I felt like making a sign saying "no, bugger off, it's cold and I like it here" and sticking it to the door when she was supposed to arrive grin

KinderBoris - thanks grin it makes a great story though grin

ColdTeaAgain Tue 04-Mar-14 21:31:55

Need to socialise a 4 month old! Dear god where do these HVs get their ideas from? confused

BertieBotts Tue 04-Mar-14 21:32:41

Maybe she thinks he's a puppy. I wonder if it's the same HV who once looked askance at a mumsnetter who was doing baby led weaning and wrote suspiciously in the read book "Mum has given baby human food grin

missmargot Tue 04-Mar-14 21:34:24

Is she getting babies confused with puppies?

Sparkeleigh Tue 04-Mar-14 21:34:30

Bertie - human food! What madness is that? grin

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