he's just so angry at the moment. filled with rage. he can't stand the fact that I can tell him no and he can't do anything about it. keeps saying "im 7" as if that's really grown up. doesn't want to have a wash when I ask, doesn't want to leave friends houses when I ask. I can accept him being disappointed etc, but he's being obnoxious and rude with it. will this pass? is it hormones?
this is possibly the most difficult time I've had with him since he was about 4.
He's hugely lovely in many ways but his rages are getting worse, he bit me yesterday (I was sitting with him on the sofa and chatting to mum on the other sofa, so he bit me to get my attention). All the 'how to talk' stuff just tips him further over the edge. I'm hoping he'll perk up when the spring comes, I wonder if he just needs the wet weather to stop so he can get back to playing outside.
He's doing brilliantly at school, no problems at all .
yes, no problems at school here either, which is some compensation.
he's always been willfull, but he just can't stand being told no. so for instance, I told him he couldn't have a chocolate mousse after dinner as he'd already had popcorn and a large cookie after school. that sets him off "why? why? I just want to make my own decisions blah blah blah". he seems to have no logic and feels he's treated unfairly and "bossed around". half term was awful, and it's not getting any better.
Can you try giving him responsibility but he has to do it in a reasonable time frame? Requires a bit of forward thinking but might be easier once you're in the habit of it. So for example "Okay, you're 7 now so you can choose when to have a shower, but you need to shower at least 3 times a week (or whatever your limit) otherwise I'm going to decide for you when it happens."
Same with snacks, you can say he has an allotted limit of 3 snacks per day which includes pudding so it's up to him when he eats them (you can say fruit/toast/whatever is unlimited in case he's genuinely hungry)
Obviously you can't trust him to 100% make his own decisions but it's probably fair to give him a bit of responsibility over the specifics which might help take the fight out of it a bit?