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is 7-8 a particularly difficult age, or is it just my ds?

(9 Posts)
losenotloose Thu 27-Feb-14 22:52:23

he's just so angry at the moment. filled with rage. he can't stand the fact that I can tell him no and he can't do anything about it. keeps saying "im 7" as if that's really grown up. doesn't want to have a wash when I ask, doesn't want to leave friends houses when I ask. I can accept him being disappointed etc, but he's being obnoxious and rude with it. will this pass? is it hormones?

this is possibly the most difficult time I've had with him since he was about 4.

Meglet Thu 27-Feb-14 22:59:27

Exactly the same here!

He's hugely lovely in many ways but his rages are getting worse, he bit me yesterday (I was sitting with him on the sofa and chatting to mum on the other sofa, so he bit me to get my attention). All the 'how to talk' stuff just tips him further over the edge. I'm hoping he'll perk up when the spring comes, I wonder if he just needs the wet weather to stop so he can get back to playing outside.

He's doing brilliantly at school, no problems at all confused.

mawbroon Thu 27-Feb-14 23:01:46

Have a look at The Explosive Child. It describes DS1 exactly and has some really good strategies for dealing with it.

losenotloose Thu 27-Feb-14 23:05:53

yes, no problems at school here either, which is some compensation.

he's always been willfull, but he just can't stand being told no. so for instance, I told him he couldn't have a chocolate mousse after dinner as he'd already had popcorn and a large cookie after school. that sets him off "why? why? I just want to make my own decisions blah blah blah". he seems to have no logic and feels he's treated unfairly and "bossed around". half term was awful, and it's not getting any better.

losenotloose Fri 28-Feb-14 14:54:08

bump!

Andro Fri 28-Feb-14 18:09:12

7 was tough for DS, he had a surge in aggression and it had to be worked off (lots of physical exercise) with clear (always enforced) boundaries in place.

It passed...

It also returned at 10 <sigh>

Can you try giving him responsibility but he has to do it in a reasonable time frame? Requires a bit of forward thinking but might be easier once you're in the habit of it. So for example "Okay, you're 7 now so you can choose when to have a shower, but you need to shower at least 3 times a week (or whatever your limit) otherwise I'm going to decide for you when it happens."

Same with snacks, you can say he has an allotted limit of 3 snacks per day which includes pudding so it's up to him when he eats them (you can say fruit/toast/whatever is unlimited in case he's genuinely hungry)

Obviously you can't trust him to 100% make his own decisions but it's probably fair to give him a bit of responsibility over the specifics which might help take the fight out of it a bit?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Fri 28-Feb-14 18:21:37

Same here but unfortunately he is taking his attitude into school aswell.

Glad we're not alone and I'll have a look for the book suggested above.

Or he might react like my 5yo and whine "Why do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?" when I told him he was perfectly capable of getting his own glass of water grin

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