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"I hate you"

(10 Posts)
vvviola Wed 26-Feb-14 07:13:17

DD2 (2.5) has picked this up from DD1 (6.5). DD1 usually says in the context of food or a tv programme or something, but somehow DD2 has turned it into saying "I hate you" to people.

She clearly has no concept of what it means.

But I don't know how to react to it. I've tried ignoring but then she just says it over and over again. I've tried telling her it isn't nice but she just smiles and says it again.

It's driving me crazy - and it hurts a bit, even if I know she doesn't mean/understand it. And we're seeing MIL at the weekend who will react and either get upset, or sulk, or come up with some outlandish 'punishment' that 'worked on DH'.

Any suggestions?

AuditAngel Wed 26-Feb-14 07:18:08

I generally go with "that isn't a nice word to use".

Really here the best thing is to try to work on stopping the older one from saying it. I have 3 DC, DS is 9 and not a problem, DD1 is 7 next month and has long used words like poo poo head etc. and now DD2 is using them on her (maybe my technique wasn't so good).

Drawing attention to it and making a big deal of it gives her the reaction she wants.

TamerB Wed 26-Feb-14 07:20:53

It is a phase. Just smile and say, lightly, 'that is OK, I have enough love for both of us' and change the subject.
If you take it seriously she will do it more.

TamerB Wed 26-Feb-14 07:21:55

I wouldn't say 'it isn't a nice word'- children love words that are not nice!

Jess03 Wed 26-Feb-14 08:31:24

Yes my dd thinks she's being very grown up by saying naughty words. It does hurt - my dd (3) has asked if nanny can be her mummy, said I hate you, or I don't like you. I always just say that's not very nice but mummy always loves you and ignore. They really don't know what they're saying at 2.5 or 3. Your older dd should probably face consequences though if telling her not to do it isn't working as it's disrespectful and she knows it's not right.

Northumberlandlass Wed 26-Feb-14 08:34:07

I always said "Really, that's a shame because I love you a lot" - no reaction really at all, walk away.
They WANT a reaction, just don't give it. She is learning how to push your buttons smile

TamerB Wed 26-Feb-14 16:36:58

Exactly-it is attention seeking-don't give attention.

Morrigu Wed 26-Feb-14 16:39:56

I said exactly the same as Northumberlass and he only said it a couple of times before he realised he didn't get a reaction from me and gave up.

MostWicked Wed 26-Feb-14 17:18:40

I would ignore it COMPLETELY

Just change the subject. Say "I'm making tea", "Would you like to help me with...", "Can you choose a book?", "I wonder if it's going to rain"

She might try it a couple of times, but with no reaction at all, she'll soon drop it.

murphy36 Wed 26-Feb-14 18:46:26

Similar Northumberlandlass I would say something like 'Oh dear, you probably won't want the XYZ I cooked/built/bought/invented because that's for people that love me/dad/nanny/the cat' not in a kind of dolling out punishment way, but I think even at 3 you should stretch them to understand that some words/sentiments aren't nice and they have some impact.

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