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How to help 3yo with 'can't do' attitude?

(7 Posts)
marzipananimal Sun 23-Feb-14 15:31:25

DS is 3.5 and I'm getting frustrated with his refusal to do things himself or try doing new things, especially things that he used to do for himself.
For example he has been able to put his shoes on for over a year and used to do it all the time, but lately he point blank refuses to do it himself.
He's been toilet trained for over 6 months and a while ago he would go to the toilet by himself (for a wee) but now he insists on me coming with him.
If we're playing with crayons, he just asks me to draw things and won't even attempt very simple things himself.
It's very frustrating! How can I encourage him to be a bit more independent and willing to try things?

ZuleikaD Sun 23-Feb-14 17:37:17

Is he DC1? Sometimes the eldest can be very perfectionist and very self-critical if they feel like they're getting it wrong. This can lead to them being unwilling to try things for fear of failing. You could try explaining to him that it's ok not to be able to do stuff, and mistakes are a way to learn. Follow it up with a story about you getting something wrong or being afraid to try, and see if that connects with him.

georgedawes Sun 23-Feb-14 17:38:56

Praise the trying not the end result.

noblegiraffe Sun 23-Feb-14 17:39:21

Have you recently had a baby?

My DS has gone through this, he's 4 and it coincided with more being asked of him, going to pre-school and school, getting himself dressed etc. He was also seeing everything being done for his new sister and was desperate for a bit of babying.

With drawing etc, make a big deal of praising effort rather than how good his drawing is.

marzipananimal Sun 23-Feb-14 18:10:25

I have a 7 month old baby, so not that recent, and it was actually just after she was born that he decided to potty
train. Bur yes I think he does like a bit of babying sometimes.
I try to praise the trying but it's hard when he won't try at all!

georgedawes Sun 23-Feb-14 21:01:17

I know my DD can be similar, I think it helps to keep at it and then when they do get it right just keep saying that it was because they kept trying and practising. It has seemed to sink in a bit with my daughter over time. Hope it does for your son.

tinatiabluE123 Mon 24-Feb-14 07:27:24

My little girl insisted I came to toilet and shouts at me when finished but expects me to sit and wait. now I say im not coming and make her wait. ..she now flushes toilet and wipes herself if its no 1 lol you have to explain you knw what they are doing and stick to it

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