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please help me cope..

(8 Posts)
ditsydoll Sat 22-Feb-14 14:14:33

I have a dd who is 5 and ds is 10 months.
Dd has been increasingly difficult since i had ds, and on top of this we have recently moved house and schools after her just starting reception and its all gone to pots..
Ds wont be put down, he screams mummy at the top of his lungs until i pick him up so makes cleaning l, cooking and spending alone time with dd near impossible.
Poor dd is misserable, today i took her to the park and pushed her on a swing, she screamed that i was pushing too high so i slowed her down but she continued to scream, i then asked her to calm down which she did not, she stuck both her legs out and kicked me hard in the stomach after id asked her to kerp her legs down, she did this twice.
She screamed, shouted and demanded at me the whole time until i left in tears.
I told her we where going home because her behaviour was unnaceptable and that mummy was sad because shes not a very nice little girl at the minute sad i feel awful. Shes lovely realky shes just having a hard time adjusting and i feel so cruel for telling her shes not nice.
Ds has screamed all afternoon becausr hes a little under the weather and shes just screamed at me again. I think sges frustrated with me and ds and all the changes but her attitude towards me is so bad at the minute that i just want to cry.
Yesterday she spat at me because i asked her to get undressed for a bath.
She was always such an easy child and i feel like iv lost all control.
Please help

ditsydoll Sat 22-Feb-14 14:15:56

Sorry for huge post and typos im on my phone.

Blueuggboots Sat 22-Feb-14 14:16:06

I don't know what to suggest, but just wanted to say sorry things are tough.thanks

ditsydoll Sat 22-Feb-14 14:19:44

Thanks blueugg, on top of it all ds is 10 months and still isnt sleeping much and dh works 6 days a week on odd shifts so i dont get much help. I feel so crappy.

RandomMess Sat 22-Feb-14 14:27:11

Does your ds nap during the day or go to bed before dd? I really think your dd would benefit from some one to one time - even when her behaviour has been awful. Her life has been turned upside down and she is clearly struggling with her feelings about it.

Have you any family or friends who could help you out at all?

Other than that hugs and flowers what a tough situation sad

ditsydoll Sat 22-Feb-14 14:34:19

Ds hardly leaves my side, his naps arent great, he falls asleep in my arms and if i put him down he wakes up leaving him cranky. Dd needs her sleep so goes up between 6.45-7.00pm and no chance of ds going any earlier. Dh is never there for bedtime routine so i do it all with ds usually shouting mummy mummy at me.

My parents both work full time and my dad lives away anyway. No friends round here yet.
Feeling alone and fed up.

chaosmonkey Sat 22-Feb-14 14:37:28

Can ypu get hold of a backpack? I used mine loads. Means you can do everything with your ds on your back . I had a kid that wouldnt be put down and hated pram, and that massively helped. Had proper frame hiking one, not baby sling type...

mummyxtwo Sun 23-Feb-14 21:01:10

Bless you, sending hugs. Mine are a similar age gap - ds1 5.2yo, dd2 16mo. My dh works long hours too and is rarely back for bedtime during the week. It's so hard. All I can say is that it gets easier the older the youngest gets. It presents new challenges - dd2 is a climber and constantly getting onto the dining table if I don't watch her like a hawk! - but it gets a lot easier when they settle into a better daytime nap routine and can communicate a little better so don't just cry and superglue themselves to your leg whenever something minor is wrong. Your ds will also become more entertaining for dd to play with. Right now she probably just sees him as a noisy nuisance who can't do a lot. If your ds does nap at all, ignore any housework and do something with dd. Find some activities that she can do sitting at the table while you pace up and down behind her with ds, if needed - lego, drawing, sticker books. You can chat and help her and still appear to be playing with her despite jiggling the baby about too. Do you have any super-distracting little toys that ds likes? Dd2 has a leapfrog smart phone which plays music and has a little dog on the screen that she loves. I also have a box of stickle bricks that the two of them play with together - although they are a bit young for ds1 he still likes them and will create funny shapes that he says are "the shrinkray from despicable me!" or similar. Dd2 likes to pull them apart but when she was smaller she liked to chew on them. As your ds gets a bit older you might find it easier to get him down to bed earlier. Dd2 goes to bed at 6.45pm and ds1 around 7pm, which gives me 15 mins to cuddle ds1 and read him stories. It definitely helps us both at the end of the day, particularly if I have morphed into stressy mum sometime around supper-time. Hang on in there - it does get easier! x

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