Help ! My 8 month old just doesn't sleep - I'm desperate

[Sleepy678]

I'm really feeling low & desperate as my 8 month old dd just does not want to sleep at night. She's a very active baby, already crawling & standing up by herself. It is like she cannot switch off. We follow a lovely & calm bathtine routine which seems to make her more hyper ! I on my own with her most if the time as hubby works long hours. I take her to various groups & swimming but all she manages to sleep is 2 naps during the day ( on average 40 minutes ) then in the evening from 11pm to about 5am ! I get I tired that I have began to co- sleep with her in the spare room. I want her to be in her cot but when I put her in she screams & gets upset. We have tried to do the control crying but if I'm honest half an hour of her crying was enough for me. Maybe I'm too soft & given her too much control & choice ? As I'm the only carer in her life most days I can't carry on much longer as things are.....even driving the car is getting hard for me as I'm so tired I think I could crash ! & my days & nights are rolled into one with no break. Feeling desperate now. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks

[gretagrape]

Has she always had trouble sleeping at night or is it a recent thing? If it's recent, could it be due to the solids she is having - maybe they are too late in the day and she's still feeling a bit full/windy at bedtime?

What time do you do the bath and bed routine? What's happening between that and 11pm, or is it just that it's taking that long for her to fall asleep?

[pinkypie79]

We had to do controlled crying after a year of no sleep - remember sleep deprivation is used as a torture method so t's not exactly a small problem.

Really did not want to do controlled crying, not me or DH but after 12 months couldn't take it anymore.... three nights of crying sometimes 3 hours at a time as we had to wait always 10 more minutes...sorted it out. You gotta do what you gottado. If you feel you're in danger driving then IMO that's a sign you should persist with controlled crying. Or does anyone else have better ideas? It does feel cruel but.... what can you do? you wouldn't want your DC have their mum go mental?

[Mamasinstinct]

Hi sleepy
You've got to put your health and sanity before what you feel you 'ought' to be doing or what 'ought' to be working. Do whatever your baby needs in order to sleep. Otherwise you'll get more and more tired and so will your baby and that leads to all sorts of issues.
Your daughter sounds just like mine was (she's now 2) and I would cosleep or cuddle/sing to sleep then transfer to the cot a lot at that age. People would warn me she'd never be able to settle herself but it was the only thing working, I couldn't take controlled crying and it just seemed to wind her up. I can reassure you that comforting them to sleep does not make them reliant, just more secure in my opinion. My daughter will now happily put herself to sleep after one story and one song and sleep 12 hours straight so no long term dependency issues there!! Good luck x

[HelenHen]

I agree with pinkiepie completely. You don't need to leave her cry for half an hour but find a time you're comfortable with. Consistency is key though. I have a video monitor which helped cos I turned down the volume... I'd never have survived it otherwise!

Bath makes ds hyper too so I would cut that out of bedtime routine to be honest and give it in the morning or not even every day! Ds only gets bath every 4 or 5 days. They don't need one every day, especially if it's not calming!

[DearTeddyRobinson]

Could it be she is overtired? At that age they need 12 hours overnight and 2-3 hours during the day if I remember correctly? I would try to up her daytime sleep a bit then do bath/bottle/bed at 6.30-7.00pm. Cc is horrendous but so is sleep deprivation, for both of you! Gina Ford's routines give you a good idea of when and how much they should be eating/sleeping, really helped us when we were just destroyed with DS' crap sleep.

[lotsofcheese]

Oh dear, I really sympathise. My DD is slightly older ( 9m) but doesn't sleep much during the day either - 2 naps of 40 mins or so. She wakes at 5am too & we just bring her into bed. We use a dummy too.

If you're not keen on CC, have a think about pick-up-put-down. I used it for DS. It helped his daytime sleep but not nighttime. I've also used CC & other sleep training methods, but always found DS regressed when I'll, teething etc & we were back to square one. So with DD I'm more accepting of sleep deprivation & not trying to change things.

I hope things get better for you soon.

[naty1]

We found CC worked. I started with naps as more practice.
She was getting tired about 3 hours after waking. I find porridge really filling and helps make her tired.
She gets naughty and hyper when tired also rubs eyes.
It only really worked from 11 m
Could she have a food allergy.
Mine did and meant she never slept well on her back.