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21 month old "sly" biting

(3 Posts)
JammieMummy Tue 18-Feb-14 21:30:07

This is the first time I have posted in behaviour but I am at my wits end not so much of the action its self but the way in which it is done.

I have two children DD is 3.5 and DS is 21 months. DS went through a biting phase (as they all do) and we thought we had come out the otherside. However, he has now taken to biting DD but specifically when no one is around or watching. He will only bite her and he doesn't do it when angry or frustrated but when you pop out of the room for a second. Today he left a visible mark on her arm and she was very distressed, to top it all off DD is never unkind to DS always very loving (if wanting to give a few to many cuddles so he might feel a bit overwhelmed). My big concern is this seems to be well thought out sly biting and not a reaction to having a toy taken away or something similar.

I am tempted to tell DD that she can "push" him away when he bites her. I normally wouldn't advocate any physical reaction at all but it is just getting silly now and I think if this occured at school they would understand another child being pushed away if they hurt DD.

To give you a bit of background info DS is quite the little prince and has a certain air of entitlement which comes form being the baby in the family (ours and the extended family). DH and I having been saying for a little while he needs to go to nursery and have the corners taken off him a bit as he is very demanding and will scream for his own way all the time. We never give in but that doesn't seem to deter him!

Should I let DD push him away? Or is there a better answer? I am willing to consider all suggestions (except biting him back, I wont do that).

BettyFlour Tue 18-Feb-14 21:44:11

I have a 20 month old biter. He only bites out of excitement though.

I don't think he is old enough to be 'sly'.

IMHO, your OP screams out to me that your DD is doing something to your DS when your back is turned (taking a toy from him maybe) and he's reacting.

Your DD may not be as angelic as you think. I apparently used to get my brother into trouble all the time as a child as I was the angelic one. I also know of friends who's daughter appeared to dote on her baby brother but would hit him when out of view. She was caught red-handed many times.

JammieMummy Tue 18-Feb-14 21:50:29

I know my DD isn't doing anything on these occassions as we have CCTV cameras in the playroom and we can see them. She is sitting away from him playing on her own and he just goes over and bites her.

Also if she does something to him such as take a toy (she is no angel) he will scream, hit her or tell her off (very funny to watch) but when we are in the room he never bites her. She will try and get him into trouble by telling fibs! But that is normal sibling stuff and I would not/am not concerned about that at all.

I agree sly perhaps isn't the right word as he is very little but I cant think of another one for it.

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