First week of tantrums, have a question

[erikab922]

My 22 month old has entered the world of tantrums. She's even managed to pick a spot in the house where she prefers to go when she's having them - she will go into the kitchen and stand in front of the recycling bins and have an almighty standing-up screamathon for 5 minutes.

I don't like totally ignoring them as I want her to know that I realise she's upset (she doesn't even have them for any particular reason, like us taking something away or not giving her something, so there's really nothing to 'give in' about on our part). I want to pick her up and give her a cuddle but if we try to hug her or anything while she's having a tantrum it will make it 10x worse. So it looks like ignoring her is our only option, which makes me blue.

So please tell me ignoring them is OK, because cuddling or trying to talk to her is not helping. Thank you!

ps - I'm pregnant so hyper-sensitive about everything right now, lest you all think I'm being a wet blanket ;)

[TamerB]

No point in doing anything else! Cuddle when she has finished and explain that having a tantrum is useless- you can't understand while she screams and shouts.

[erikab922]

Thanks TamerB, I fear my hormones are overriding my usual good senses. Ignoring her just feels wrong as I really want to give her a cuddle, I can see her little cavegirl brain exploding and not knowing how to deal with it. But that's just what I want and it's not about me. Poor little mites, they're like tiny teenagers at this stage but without the ability to say 'I hate you!' (but I know she's thinking it...)

[TamerB]

She will get to the 'I hate you' but it is meaningless. You can't do anything. My MIL couldn't stand seeing my 2 yr old throwing himself around in the nude- she had to admit defeat and leave him to it! I dressed him when he calmed down.

[TamerB]

They have strong emotions- they have to learn to deal with them- you can't do it for them.

[scepticalexpat]

Sometimes I sit nearby, look sympathetic and periodically hold out my arms to my DD. she tends to want a cuddle once the tantrum is past its peak.

[ChoudeBruxelles]

In the middle of a tantrum she's really not going to listen to you. Talk to her when it's finished.

[HugoTheHippo]

My mum ignored me when I was having tantrums and I preferred it. To this day if I feel so angry that I think I might explode I always prefer to leave the room and be angry by myself for a few minutes before I can calm down.

[TamerB]

I can see the appeal of it- there are times as an adult I would like to shout, scream and throw myself about! I'm sure I would feel better afterwards.