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cant take it anymore!!!!!

(11 Posts)
Mena1 Thu 13-Feb-14 22:18:02

my 9 week old is driving me up the wall. he literally does not sleep. 15-35 minutes during the day ever 2-3 hrs then at night .....nothing. last night he was awake from 8:20pm to 3:30am. sometimes crying sometimes just looking about. he sucks on his hands but when I offer him the boob he refuses. I have no idea what to do. I am so effing tired I am crying like a lunatic. he has been awake now since 3pm and is still awake. I really cant handle this anymore , have no idea what else to do. I have another son and am a complete zombie and hardly been doing much with him. this has been going on for 3 effing weeks. please help....there must be someone who can help/ shed some light. I am starting to feel extremely depressed and very desperate. on monday I fell asleep in tesco standing upright. wtf!!!!!! please help

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 13-Feb-14 22:39:31

That does sound so hard. Can completely sympathise, sleep depravation is shocking isn't it?

Have you got someone at home with you? Could they change him and wrap him up and go out for a drive for an hour so that you can sleep?

How is he when he feeds?

Is there a Bfing Support Group near to you? Sounds like you need some RL support.

Have you called one of the Bfing Helplines yet? They may have some suggestions smile

nilbyname Thu 13-Feb-14 22:44:41

Ok, that is extra shit.

Will he sleep on you? And then be shifted off to co sleep?
White noise?
Swaddled? Tightly?
Tongue tie?

My dd would only Settle when put to sleep I hee side so we used a rolled up towel to keep her propped up

I'm sorry it's so hard. Get family to help with meals and Childcare.

Mena1 Fri 14-Feb-14 07:52:35

thank you!
he feeds very well sometimes too much. I thought I wasnt feeding him enough so gave him a formula feed, he went straight on the boob after. also I have to express sometimes because the milk comes out too fast and this really upsets him and makes him get bad wind. I did the co sleeping last night and kicked DH out the bed. he slept on me then transfered him as you said and got 2.5 solid hours. I dont want hin to get use to co sleeping but it really did help. will call the bf helpline and hv today. thank you ladies

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 14-Feb-14 08:07:05

Glad you got some sleep last night. Yay to giving the Bfing Helpline a call. Is your HV very informed about Bfing? I always had to take my a HVs advice with a huge pinch of salt...

Are you getting any RL help? I'm not saying there is a problem, it could all be normal, but it might be worth getting a BFC to observe a full feed and talk things through with her smile

Mytreasureisland Fri 14-Feb-14 08:25:41

My baby would only sleep on the boob/ pressed against me for months, day time and night time. I just had to sit there on the iPad or watching TV, she fed all the time, co sleeping was the only option for me. She did sleep in the car, i went out A lot. I'll admit that at 5 months we haven't made any progress towards the cot, but she will sleep away from me in the bed now, I just can't summon the nerve to tackle it as I am scared to lose sleep. Plus, I like it secretly :D

Dentinox for wind helped her too.

No advice really, just that you do come out the other side, and they cannot stay awake forever. Having someone babysit for a couple of hours totally changed my outlook on it all too, just taking a moment to be baby free.

ktef Sat 15-Feb-14 06:02:10

Try and get one good nights sleep, preferably on a Friday night. Spend all week leading up to it reading the sleep pages on mn, and any sleep books you can get your hands on. During the week try and get breast feeding expert (Nct have them) to come and watch or at least discuss with you the feeding. Get your baby weighed during the week too so you are reassured that your baby is ok. Then try and get your good nights sleep (if things are really bad could dh drive baby for a bit? Express some milk, get dh to do everything for say six hours and wear earplugs so you really try and get some sleep). Then wake up after the one night (preferably a Saturday so you have weekend with dh around for support) to try out any sleep tips you like the sound of from the reading etc.
I'm sounding rather bossy(!) but I know that when you are sooooooo tired sometimes you need a plan. And I just hated the feeling of just randomly trying different things in the middle of the night because you are so tired and desperate you'll try anything. Is you dh supportive and involved? I'mon my phone so can't check op to see if this response is appropriate!

benefitofhindsight Sat 15-Feb-14 08:34:59

My baby is also a very bad sleeper, I have had to accept co-sleeping as the only way for now. I too felt desperate the last few days as even co-sleeping wasnt working so last night dh and I agreed that one of us was 'on duty' 10pm-3am and the other 3-7am so at least I knew I could sleep for that time. As it happens she slept a bit better anyway so I was only up 3 times and had to get up at 5 though. It's hard!

JuliaScurr Sat 15-Feb-14 08:46:13

dp went to work leaving me sitting on sofa bf-ing dd
he returned 9 hours later to find me in exactly the same position, nothing changed except now I was crying
nothing to eat all day because every time I put her down she screamed
have you tried formula for hungrier babies at night? We called it Liquid Cosh :D
can anyone help during the day?
hope you find a solution

Elliebelly00 Sat 15-Feb-14 13:40:48

Hello Mena1,
so sorry your having such a hard time with your LO. My daughter is now 4 months old and is still not sleeping through the night entirely, she wakes up once or twice for a feed. I think breast fed babies aren't satisfied through the night as much as formula fed babies, so I have started to introduce formula aswell as breastmilk in the day to fill her up a little more. My LO will start to wake, I will quickly put her to the breast so she is still asleep, and then when she drops off, put her back in her moses basket.

You can speak to doctors, the bambi's your health visitors etc... but I found the only thing that really helped me was getting her into a routine.

She was having too much sleep in the day, and was waking through the night. I limited this to waking her at 8am, letting her have her 1st nap 11-12pm. Then her second at 4-5pm, with a bath at 7pm followed by a big formula bottle then bed by no later than half 8. Although if you leave the house to go out for the day, the routine gets all messed up, I generally try and stick to it, and it works like a charm! Last night she only woke once! Just try a routine that works for you and see what happens.

I went through weeks of her crying herself to sleep on me, I am on my own so I had no one to help me, but this routine is the business smile

Good luck! and give yourself some credit, you're doing great xxxx

Mena1 Tue 18-Feb-14 21:28:54

Hi ladies, thanks for all the brilliant advice and I know its bad but its good to know I'm not the only one. sorry for taking so long to reply but lo got a inguinal hernia and had to have surgery....stress was through the roof. he is only 9 weeks old. all done now and happy to be home. first night after surgery he slept very well just woke twice but of course I didnt sleep a wink with all the machine beeping around him. second night he woke every 2 hrs but it was more of a dream feed than anything. not sure if putting him in a routine this week would be wise with all he's been through and having first vaccinations tomorrow.... it never ends. I'm hoping it gets better. he seems so much more chilled than what he was before surgery. he must have been uncomfortable or in pain and maybe that didnt help the sleepless night.

anyhoo I want to explain as I'm sure I seemed ungrateful and possess no social skills but it all happened so fast my head was spinning. once again ladies thank you so so much xxxx

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