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When did your dc first tell you they loved you?

(16 Posts)
MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Thu 13-Feb-14 15:04:20

I have a ds aged 23 months. He has got a very extensive vocab (not bragging but relevant) and picks up new words pretty much as soon as he hears them. But he's never said 'I love you' or anything like that. If I drop them into conversation he'll never attempt to repeat them back even though he'll repeat virtually everything else. It almost seems deliberate! In our house we say we love each other a lot, so I'm surprised he hasn't picked it up yet. I've explained what it means(as much as you can!) but no joy. I know he does love me - he's very affectionate, but isn't one for kisses either. He does like cuddles, albeit short ones (he's always on the go).

I'm interested in hearing when other toddlers have first said this to a parent. I wonder if he's refusing to say it because I always say it to him and dh before bed or before I leave the house, so maybe he associates it with me leaving.

matana Thu 13-Feb-14 15:10:09

I think you're over-thinking it, sorry! smile

He'll say it when he wants to - there's nothing else in it. I think my DS began saying it back to me once he'd turned two. But he only began saying it spontaneously (i.e. without me saying it first) a few weeks ago. It's lovely when it happens, but I really wouldn't worry that your 23 mo is not yet saying it.

BrokenFairylights Thu 13-Feb-14 15:14:38

My dd 18mo says 'lub u' when she has a cuddle and it's lovely, ds although a much cuddlier child didn't say it until he was about 2.5, but he still says it at 9yrs which is great grin. I guess they're judy all different. And your right about them sensing that you want them to say it, DH was gutted when ds went through a phase of only calling him by his 1st name, he refused to say dad, dadda etc

ElaClaw Thu 13-Feb-14 15:17:05

My ds2 was about 3. Before that when ever I said "I love you" he would reply "I really like you Mummy..."

derektheladyhamster Thu 13-Feb-14 15:18:28

I don't think my boys have ever said it!! (14 and 11 now) grin

FredFredGeorge Thu 13-Feb-14 16:17:23

Why don't you simply ask him?

Deliaskis Thu 13-Feb-14 16:20:48

Older than 2 I think, maybe 2.6. DD didn't say much at all until 2 though.

The thing is, in the early days, I don't think she really said things that didn't have a 'purpose' in her view, e.g. asking for things, saying she was poorly/cold/tired etc. It then graduated to observations like 'there's a brown cow' etc. but I don't think I would necessarily expect a not quite 2yr old to consider 'I love you' as part of their usually very functional vocabulary. DD (almost 3) says it quite frequently now, but I can't really say I'm sure she knows what it means, she knows that it's a nice thing people say to each other and that it makes us happy to say it and hear it. She's also jsut started saying things like 'that's a pretty dress' and such like, and she says things like that quite a lot, so I think she is testing out her 'things I can say that make people smile' vocab.

I would try not to over-think, I doubt he's refusing to say it due to any negative thoughts about you leaving, I'm sure he's just not really got the point of saying it yet.


naty1 Thu 13-Feb-14 19:19:05

At 18-19m its i luv vou.
Quite large vocab (200+)
They say what they feel like ... all these words and only said yes at 20m.

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Thu 13-Feb-14 22:25:29

Ahh, thanks for these replies then - maybe I'm just being a bit pre-emptive! He's my first and to be honest I just didn't really know when I could expect to hear it! I appreciate that I probably sound like I'm beating my breast and wailing about it (and there may be pfb elements to it!) but really I haven't been thinking too hard about it other than it being a moment I'm really looking forward to. I get that he probably doesn't even understand the concept yet, although I know he does love me, so I'm not feeling insecure about that. I just thought maybe he should be at the stage of saying it but I'm obviously wrong.

I did ask him if he loves mummy though blush - he didn't reply. Probably a good thing as his favourite word is no at the moment and silence is usually an indication of 'yes' - which he too doesn't say yet! Although I did get 'mummy got beard' recently - thanks for that!

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle Thu 13-Feb-14 22:30:57

Same here ds was 2 last week and has never said it. He repeats everything else, just not that (sob)

DeWe Fri 14-Feb-14 09:35:42

Really woudn't start things like "do you love mummy?" It becomes an issue then-how would you feel if he says "no"! Probably devastated-but he wouldn't mean it.

Dd1 I don't think every has said that-she's 13yo and it isn't the sort of thing she says. She doesn't talk emotions much.
Dd2 said it about 2.6yo-followed almost always with "so can I have XYZ". She's a canny little thing grin
Ds said it first at about 18 months and still says it lots. He's 6yo, and says it with big hugs and kisses.
Doesn't mean Ds loves me more, just he's more demonstrative about saying it.

CheshireSplat Fri 14-Feb-14 16:39:28

My DD has just turned two when she first said it. She says it every so often now too. Like the OP's DS she has a wide vocabulary and she definitely meant it! grin

I wouldn't push him to be honest. I still get my DM saying to me (I'm 36!) "sometimes I don't think you like me" and it grates.

Spottybra Fri 14-Feb-14 16:43:28

Dd has been saying it since she could talk. Older ds used to say 'I like you Mummy' which I knew meant 'I love you'. However, its only since he turned 4 he has said I love you. Hang on in there....

Spottybra Fri 14-Feb-14 16:45:46

But dd also loves everything, cats, rabbits, rainbows, rain, puddles, tea parties, fairies, being a princess....

Misty9 Sat 15-Feb-14 19:31:17

Ds has just started repeating it back to us at 2.5yo (started talking at 2yo) but he hasn't spontaneously said it yet. He also doesn't know how to kiss, bless him, and sort of inclines his head when asked to!

CuriosityCola Sat 15-Feb-14 19:36:54

My ds started saying it around 2.3. We thought he hadn't picked up on it until my friend was leaving the house. He gave her a kiss goodbye and then said bye, love you. Just like I say to dh every morning. He is now 2.5 and will come out with a sporadic I love you to dh or I.

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