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Hugging and boundaries, 5yo

(7 Posts)
rhetorician Tue 11-Feb-14 18:28:43

This sounds like an odd issue, but since she started school, my slightly shy dd has been negotiating her social world through hugging other children, in particular, a group of girls who she wants to be included by (but isn't). She doesn't do it in any context other than school, but it is clear that the other children don't like it (and I suspect but don't know that another parent has mentioned it). The teacher has given her a 'no hugging' in school rule, but clearly this can't be enforced all the time (in the yard, e.g.). The other kids immediately outp it their hands or say 'no hugging dd' when she approaches. I am worried that she is alienating herself, although in other ways she is doing well. How can I impress on her that she must not do this? She just doesn't seem to get it

rhetorician Tue 11-Feb-14 18:29:23

put out

BeerTricksPotter Tue 11-Feb-14 18:49:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rhetorician Tue 11-Feb-14 18:55:03

Well I have witnessed them being quite mean to her a couple of times. And I only have dds word for it about the no hugging rule. She plays very well one on one with other children, but it has clearly turned into a way of getting their attention, even though it is negative, and I suspect that if they ignored it, she would stop doing it. But they are also only 5!

I don't want to make too big a thing of it either, but she just needs to know when to stop and I don't think she knows how to make this judgement

BeerTricksPotter Tue 11-Feb-14 19:05:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rhetorician Tue 11-Feb-14 19:38:39

That's good advice, thank you. We don't live in the uk, so don't have same guidelines, but school stresses social interaction! respect etc and dds social skills have come on in leaps and bounds since she's been there. She has good relationships with other children in the class (and in the other junior infants class) outside this group.

NightCircus Tue 11-Feb-14 21:59:33

Maybe invite some of the other children to your house. Maybe one play date a week so your DD can practise her social skills that way. Or trips to the park and model how to initiate games with others. My DS likes to play cafes/drive through under the climbing frame, pretends he's in a rocket, pretends he's a fireman or that there is a troll under the climbing frame. Other kids sometimes join in.

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