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Ds 3.3 won't interact with children

(8 Posts)
TittyBojangles Thu 06-Feb-14 20:35:11

I put a long post in sen topic but no replies, will try and link here when I get on a computer.

Basically my ds is not interested at all in other children but will interact with adults no problem. Nursery, and us to some extent are concerned this along with a few other things could point to an asd.

Does anyone have any experience to share?

TittyBojangles Thu 06-Feb-14 20:43:25

TittyBojangles Thu 06-Feb-14 20:43:50

sorry here

ladyquinoa Thu 06-Feb-14 21:16:16

Look on the national autistic website for info

Ineedmorepatience Thu 06-Feb-14 21:27:06

Try posting it in special needs children it gets lots more traffic. smile

omama Thu 06-Feb-14 23:19:58

monHiya op - couldn't read & run.

I've had a similar(ish) experience with my DS. He is very bright & was a very early talker, but really, really struggles with social situations, particularly group settings like nursery/pre-school/playgroups.

He will happily talk to the staff at pre-school or in fact more or less any adult who looks at him - eg supermarket checkout staff & is a real chatterbox at home. However, put him in a group situation with children his age & he finds it very difficult to cope.

He is very sensitive to noise - to the point where we think he may have some SPD issues - & I think this is part of the reason he struggles so much. Playgroups, nursery & pre-school are full of noisy boisterous kids & this simply overwhelms him.

This time last year, when I took him to playgroups he would get very upset if another child went anywhere near him & would cry/beg for me to take him home. He never really settled at nursery, dropoff was always a trauma & he often got upset during the day. They said he played alongside other kids but wasn't really interacting. We moved him to pre-school last summer & they reported similar issues - he wouldn't even speak to the other kids & would get very upset if another child cried. They were quite concerned by his behaviour & in turn we started to worry that this on top of his noise & texture sensitivities might point to him being on the spectrum.

Pre-school decided to address it initially by reducing the amount of direct interaction they were having with him & also by encouraging some small group activities.

8 months on & he is still very wary of some of the more boisterous kids, but is slowly finding his way, is starting to interact with a select few kids & is also learning coping strategies for when he gets overwhelmed - eg going & sitting in the quiet/reading area for a while. Today he finally had the confidence to ask one of his peers if he could have the toy they were playing with in exchange for the one he had & then they chased each other round the room. Its a huge breakthrough for him grin

Fortunately for us, it seems that all that was needed was time - DS is slowly getting there, & staff no longer seem quite so concerned about his behaviour.

I really hope this turns out to be the case for your DS too. I did wonder if he's got issues with his hearing at the moment whether he's struggling at nursery because of general noise levels - maybe high background noise means he can't hear when the kids are talking to him? could it be that when the adults are talking it is quieter so he can hear better? What do the docs plan to do about the glue ear? Perhaps you may need to reassess once its been dealt with & see if the situation improves? I guess at least you can take comfort in the fact that staff are keeping a close eye on him & are working in his best interests.

As for your questions about how to help him interact socially - tbh I don't think its something you can push too much. Some kids are ready to do it sooner than others & I know I found the more I tried to encourage him to go & play, the less he would want to.

Nevertheless, things that I feel helped my DS a bit.....

Inviting children from nursery/school for a one-on-one play date at home. I find DS will play much more happily in a home environment & may even talk to the other child

We asked pre-school for a class list & we often talk to DS about the other children he will see at school - I find this really gets him thinking about his peers & I suppose makes them part of his every day life. He will tell me things about them, what they were doing & I often ask if he will play with them tomorrow. When I pick him up I also usually ask him who he played with today.

Taking him to classmates birthday parties - he often sits on the sidelines but I still feel it is worthwhile as he can watch his peers playing & if he wants to join in he can.

Moving him to a childminder - turns out it is the absolute best setting for him - much quieter & he feels more secure. He is meeting several children of varying ages on a regular basis there & he really enjoys going.

Oh & btw I think as for ignoring you when he doesn't like a question - that's pretty normal for kids their age - my ds does this too. wink

I'm not sure if this mammoth essay will have helped at all but just wanted you to know you're not alone, that hopefully time & fixing the glue ear will help, but that if it does turn out to be more than that, it sounds like the nursery staff will work hard to ensure he gets any extra support that may be needed.

omama Thu 06-Feb-14 23:20:43

oops monHiya - what's that?! Hiya

TittyBojangles Fri 07-Feb-14 10:12:36

Thankyou for your advice. Very reassuring.

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