Advanced search

4 year old can't sit/stand still

(24 Posts)
Concernedmumxx Fri 27-Dec-13 07:37:18

My 4 year old ds seems physically unable to sit or stand still
He seems to always be fidgeting or bouncing around the room
Could this be a form of ADHD?

Concernedmumxx Fri 27-Dec-13 07:38:46

I must add he also talks a lot! Waffling on with himself or at others

He is in reception, he has made friends at school and has good social skills, he enjoys school, he is making good progress with reading and maths although much slower progress with writing

sonlypuppyfat Fri 27-Dec-13 07:56:24

My 9 year old can't sit still and she waffles on and on mind you her 14 year old brother is the same. That's what kids are like they don't sit still.

Yes. Of course. He's 4. That's what most 4 year olds do.

Or, don't do.

Mine is currently squirming on the sofa like he has ants in his pants while watching Dino Dan.

I took four of them to the cinema a few weeks ago. Like jumping beans.

juneau Fri 27-Dec-13 08:21:15

What you've described sounds pretty normal to me. I have a six-year-old who's constantly up and down and running around. However, if you are worried and have noticed behaviours that are not typical of other DC your DS's age, ask your GP for a referral. It will either put your mind at rest, or give you a diagnosis and therefore help to deal with any challenging behaviours.

And yes, I believe that fidgeting and being literally unable to sit quietly during story/circle time, etc, can be a sign of ADHD. My friend's DS has just been diagnosed with this and his teacher has had to give him a cushion to hold during sitting down time as this apparently helps him to stay on the carpet. There is more info here: NHS website

Goldmandra Fri 27-Dec-13 10:44:14

This video might help explain things.

I think it's meant to be about children with developmental disorders like ASD but IMHO it applies to lots of, if not all, pre-schoolers.

TwoLeftSocks Fri 27-Dec-13 11:04:08

They can be ADHD traits, however as others have said, it could just be because he's 4.

How is he at school when the class are sat still, or if they're doing a bit of work he's not really into?

DS1 (7) had his ADHD diagnosis recently and there are lots of strategies teachers can try in class if needed, but if your DS is happy and settled then that's the most important thing.

If you have concerns then have a chat with the teacher, they'll see him in a different setting and probably spot different things, or be able to allay any worries.

HippyJo Fri 27-Dec-13 12:40:37

I could have written the original post! My son is also 4, just started in reception, ahead in reading and maths, but behind in ability to hold a pencil and write. He never sits still, his teacher has said he's disruptive, but in a such a way that he knows the answers and can't hold them in, he fidgets constantly, climbs on everything and never walks anywhere... Always running! His teacher has mentioned referring him to senco in January (in case he was just hyped up for Christmas). I don't want him labelled as ADHD, as that seems to have a stigma attached, and he's not poorly behaved once what is expected had been clearly explained, but it takes him longer to process what is expected of him, also when he is doing something that interests him, he is gripped... It's just when he's expected to do something that doesn't interest him we have problems with attention.... I think he's just a lively 4 year old, but the teacher has a class of 4year olds, so am I wrong? Also he had some problems with speech that have now been resolved with speech therapy and some quirks that could be considered sensory issues, like always wearing socks and not liking his feet being touched or toes nails clipped. Anyone have any advice?
Jo x

Goldmandra Fri 27-Dec-13 13:40:22


My advice would be to get him assessed and, if he has ADHD, accept the diagnosis.

It is far better to have a child 'labelled' as having ADHD then as naughty, difficult or disruptive.

With an appropriate diagnosis your child is far more likely to get the support he need to successful access the curriculum and come out with decent qualifications.

Part of the assessment process should be an OT report which will help you understand and manage his sensory issues.

HippyJo Fri 27-Dec-13 14:18:10

Thanks goldmandra.... I guess I should, we'll see what the senco referral says when he's back to school in anc

HippyJo Fri 27-Dec-13 14:18:33

... A couple of weeks

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 27-Dec-13 14:39:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HippyJo Fri 27-Dec-13 14:47:44

Thanks lisad

VashtaNerada Fri 27-Dec-13 14:51:37

DD is five and incredibly fidgety but I think it's just her age (and personality!).

mamicar Fri 27-Dec-13 16:31:26

I think it depends on consultant/area. my ds2 was diagnosed just before he turned 6 and is now medicated and settled smile.

I am part of a local support group and a lot of the children are under 7 so not necessarily only diagnosed at 7 smile

TwoLeftSocks Fri 27-Dec-13 21:21:16

It does tend have a stigma attached, but having an accurate diagnosis can be a real help to a child with a SEN.

It can significantly help them at school, and not just academically but in terms of self esteem, confidence and learning their own learning strategies that'll set them up for life.

It can help you realise your child isn't doing things to wind you up, but simply can't remember those two hundred times you've already asked them put your shoes on please, put your shoes on please, put your shoes on please... It can help you help them by understanding what makes them tick and what is counter-productive.

As far as the 7 years old mark goes, the only time I've seen it referenced is that traits should be apparent before this age for it to be diagnosed.

Just a thought too, if you think your DC may possibly have ADHD, it might be worth acquainting yourself with dyspraxia and austism spectrum (aspergers) as there can be overlaps in traits and diagnoses - our DS is mainly ADHD with the odd trait that falls elsewhere.

BobblesandBaubles Fri 27-Dec-13 21:29:39

I have a very fidgety newly 5 year old too. It drives me a bit nuts - he messes about at the table, picks things up and wanders around in other people's houses when we visit, jumps on the sofa etc. BUT he is improving a lot, and since starting school in September he is much better at controlling his fidgeting (although I do need to remind him a lot. Like every meal time). Apparently he now sits quietly during circle / story time and stands nicely in the queue to enter the classroom, and I have witnessed him sitting fairly well (minor fidgeting but no more than many others) through a 45 minute assembly recently. Last year I was on the verge of asking for an ADD referral (he's not overall hyperactive, just fidgety - and has amazing concentration for things he enjoys), but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's just an age thing, or just him (I'm a little bit fidgety myself). We're taking a wait and see approach, as the school don't see him as outwith the developmentally normal range (albeit close to the edge of it).

minimalisthoarder Fri 27-Dec-13 21:41:42

Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting by Noel Janis-Norton.

Basics: you can thank them 100 times (through gritted teeth if necessary) for doing (even slightly close to) what you want, or you can shout 1000 times. And try to see things from the kid's point of view.

All kids are different but I got lucky and my dd responded to this. She isn't hyperactive but I know a few kids who are, and together with
professional help and medication when necessary, I reckon it helps. Or maybe I just need to feel like I'm doing something.... Doubt it'll do any hair though, unlike some other wacky techniques you hear about. Although my FIL thinks asking kids nicely is wacky!

minimalisthoarder Fri 27-Dec-13 21:42:51

Harm. Not hair. It definitely won't do any hair. Although it'd probably do a better job than I do on dd a five minutes late for the school run.

MadameSin Fri 27-Dec-13 21:44:21

Lisa/hippy - my now 10 year old got his Dix of ADHD aged 7. He moved and talked a lot aged 4. School was a nightmare for him and his teachers found it I possible to engage him in any formal learning. He loved art and playtime basically and that was about it. He was sociable but. Clumsy with it, a bit over the top and in other kids faces ... A bit overbearing and not getting it really. He had speech delay and found expressing himself tricky. All these traits added up to significant problems, so after taking all your concerns not consideration we went via the GP and he was assessed and ex within 4 months. To be honest, it has given him all the extra help he now gets at school and he understood much more now all concerned know his strengths and weaknesses. And as a result, he has developed into a lovely, caring, popular, lively, enthusiatic and energetic 10year old. He is more aware of his own issues and manages himself really well and tries very hard to concentrate harder and behave appropriately. He can still make a bad choice, but most 10 year olds do ... I Couldn't imagine what life would be like for him f we hadn't gne thru the dx process ... I think he would have had a really hard time everywhere. I have heard of children as young as 4 getting ADHD dx. I would go via your own GP rather than school, as u will have control of any processes.

Goldmandra Sat 28-Dec-13 00:20:52

I guess I should, we'll see what the senco referral says when he's back to school

SENCos are just teachers with extra qualifications in supporting children with additional needs in education. They are not qualified in any way to diagnose or rule out any sort of disability or developmental disorder. Unfortunately this doesn't stop a fair few of them doing exactly that and doing their pupils a great disservice in the process.

You would be far better going to your GP and asking for a referral to a community paediatrician who can initiate an assessment by properly qualified professionals. The school would be asked to contribute their observations to that assessment.

HippyJo Sat 28-Dec-13 16:12:35

Thanks for the advice. I have next Friday off from work, so I'll make him a GP appointment and see where that gets us

TwoLeftSocks Sat 28-Dec-13 20:49:42

Hope it goes well.

Blissbird Tue 21-Jan-14 18:15:37

I can only add three words, Noel Janis-Norton!
She is a miracle working and her parenting sessions were a revelation to me and my hubby. We have been working with her and our son. She has even been into his school and retrained the teachers to use her methods. The change was immediate. My son was at a 7+ school in Hampstead and being treated appallingly by the teachers and the Head Mistress. Noel put them on the right track with amazing results. We have since left that school as the Head Mistress was not comfortable with the amount of knowledge we now have of the internal workings of that school and where they are failing children in a dramatic way. We are now at another school and my son is getting the support her needs. I can not recommended her books and personal sessions enough

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now