Using toilet to manipulate...

[Nemo1977]

Hi all

title says it really. ds has been trained of a day for 6mths and a night for 2mths. He has always been very good and doesnt have accidents at all[his bladder strength is better than mine ;-)]. Anyways the past couple of weeks he has been using the need for the toilet as an excuse to get out of doing things he doesnt want to. Example is last night at 2am he wanted milk but I said no go back to bed. So instead he was saying he needed a pooh so told him to go to toilet as he goes alone and is good at sorting himself out etc. Anyways was listening for him to be finished and go back to bed and he was there for an hour..everytime I said go to bed he said he wanted milk of course I said no and then he said he needed loo...and it carried on until I relented and gave him a drink of milk. I just dont know what to do as obviously cant ignore if he says he needs the loos even though sometimes I know he is doing it to manipulated situations like he did the same at my grandads 80th so we spent half the time in the loos. He knows what he is doing as when he got the milk he immediately got up and said he didnt need to pooh.

So any tips/ideas etc...am especially frustrated as last night was first night dd slept through so to be awake with ds was annoying..lol

[StinkyPete]

nemo, no words of wisdom here. but wanted to bump for you as we're having similar (kind of). ds is 3.5 and has been trained for 3 months day adn night. occassionally does what you've describe. has recently started having accidents on purpose. eg today he had just been to the toilet (with support) and 10 ins later i came in from hanging washing on the line to find he had done a poo on the sofa . he admitted he had done it on purpose and wasn't particularly sorry... can only think he did it to see what response would be.
once they're dry you think you've cracked it don't you?!?!?

[hairymclary]

I think if he does it again then take him to the toilet. If he can't perform then he goes back to bed. YOu CAN ignore pleas to go to the toilet if you are sure he is lying.

[Greensleeves]

Don't give him the milk once you've said no. Don't let him faff about in the loo for an hour. In fact, I agree with Hairy. Just escort him silently to the loo, in a very solemn, quiet "it's very late, it's night-time" manner, get it over with and get him back to bed. No rewards, no attention, no leeway.

[curtaintwitcher]

thanks ladies
I did keep putting him back into bed but he was insisting he needed a poo. Think it is worse as in the middle of the night I just dont have the patience due to being exhausted as dd usually wakes 5 times or so and am 14wks pg so he was sort of the last straw hence I gave in with the milk...will have more resolve tonight.

[Radleybaggirl]

We have a similar problem. Our 6 year old has started telling us he needs the toilet ALL the time. Whenever we sit down for a meal, "I need the toilet. I really, really do, I'm fit to burst!" But only of course if we are out in a restaurant. It is becoming extremely wearing as we don't want to risk an accident. He will also ask to go every 10-15 mins when we are out. We've just come back from holiday which was almost ruined by his perpetual whining. Help please!

[Pradamark]

Radleybaggirl, Hi I my 7yr old went through what you describe about a year ago. Even if she had just been to the toilet if we were going out she would HAVE to go again. I think it came from a worry of embarrassing herself if she wet herself - which she hadn't done since potty training at 2.5yrs, but at this age they become very aware of what other people think of them so I think that was the cause. She grew out of it, it was just a stage of development she went through.

Nemo1977 and StinkyPete, I totally agree with hairymclary and Greensleeves, don't give in to it if you know they are trying it on!