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Any experience of developmental delays?

(35 Posts)
IcouldstillbeJoseph Wed 30-Oct-13 15:36:19

Dd is 9mo and my second DC. I had a troublesome pregnancy this time around with two episodes of severe pneumonia.
Anyway, DD didn't smile until she was 10 weeks and has been very 'slow' ever since.
She is sitting now (if you sit her up) but that's it. Hardly interacts.
Anyway, she was classified as developmentally delayed at 6 months but HV (who is v good) wanted to wait a bit. Anyway she's seen her today and re-assessed her and found her to be delayed in all areas.

I knew that already though really.
I know it's good it's been picked up etc, but I just feel worried, sad and 'I knew it' all rolled into one.

Just wondered if anyone had words of wisdom/advice?

My DS2 sat at 12 months.. walked at 2. didn't smile til 11 months of age !
That was grim.. physically delay was bad enough but having no social interaction was far harder. Turned out he had 'delayed visual maturation'(basically eyes not really talking to brain) plus he needed glasses.

It was awful and I got very depressed, convinced he would never be smiley and loving.. he basically lay there and stared at bright lights and shiney things.

HOWEVER.. He got into the system early.. bit of physio, then speech (didn't talk either..sat and dribbled!) then Portage. Statemented before he started nursery and eventually went to a special school.

He's now 16, he is articulate (tho still sounds a bit slurred) he is very sociable, he loves us and is loved by everyone. He's still floppy, (wears splints) but he walks, he talks, he can read well, write a bit, bore everyone to death with his DR WHo obsessions.
He's not 'normal' He has some learning disabilty and he has autism (which was my worst fear) but he is as far from the little boy who just lay there and never made eye contact as you can imagine.

The sadness is normal.. no one ever expects their child to be different. But it does become ok.. you do find friends you would never have made, you celebrate different achievements.. it's ok.

Hop over to the Special Needs boardsmile
ps didn't mean to imply your dd definitely ahs long term needs like my DS2...she may catch up! But if she doesn't, life WILL be ok smile

saintlyjimjams Thu 31-Oct-13 18:29:20

Yes can second that life will be okay.

Ds1 is (basically) what was my worst fear when I first realised there were problems - & he's lovely and life is much better than I could have imagined (and more interesting) smile I've met people I wouldn't have met and found a whole community (learning disabilities) that I didn't know existed and I would go as far as saying that it has made life more rewarding and more meaningful that it would be without that. Harder yes, but more rewarding definitely.

Firsttimer7259 Thu 31-Oct-13 19:09:00

My DD has GDD, shes 3.10 and lovely but very delayed. We have a full place at an excellent SN nursery. Its hard, especially in the early stages, and heart breaking to see other children accomplish with ease things you work on day in day out. The social stuff is also really hard - avoid things you realise you hate, find new things and people that you can love and who love you and your child. We have met some of the best special people through our girl - she brings wonderful things into our lives along with much pain and loss.
You probably have a long scary process of tests and scans coming, try the SN boards for support. You also ahve grieving to do, come along let it out. You arent alone even if it can feel that way. And well done for getting it early - big star mummy points for that one

IcouldstillbeJoseph Thu 31-Oct-13 20:01:53

Thank you a million times, this is helping so much.

I only picked it up so early as she is such a contrast to my DS and because he is still quite young, I can remember what he was doing at what age. I knew something was wrong from a few weeks old though. Don't know how, just instinct I guess.

I wish the paed appointment was soon as I would like some answers - although I know I'm unlikely to get any in reality

IcouldstillbeJoseph Thu 31-Oct-13 20:02:39

I don't want this to sound too lame either but your posts are an inspiration to me

Beanypip Thu 31-Oct-13 21:38:09

my dd has developmental delays too. shes 20 months now and still cant pull to stand stand unaided or walk she just learnt to bum shuffle this week (I cried for hours!) but shes amazing and I wouldnt have her any other way.

she sat at 13 months and thats it till her bum shuffling. I also binned groups as I used to come out crying because all the other babies were running around at 13 months and my dd couldnt even sit. portage are great and they have groups in my area that all full of babies with sn so you feel much confident as the mums are going through the same as u.

due dc2 in april so hoping dd can walk by then!!

dont be dishartened I cried for months after finding out and couldnt get my head around it but you cant change whats happening. just enjoy your little one and crack on with it (wise words from my dh hmm )

the sn threads are a great help if you need advise. id also recommend claiming dla we get it for dd and Its a great help to us.

marchduck Thu 31-Oct-13 22:35:12

I think you are brilliant for picking up on it early.
I was told my DD had developmental delay following her two year health assessment. It was shock to me - I knew her speech was delayed, but I had no concerns about anything else. Looking back, I think I was probably in denial. I have an older DS who had been advanced in everything, and I somehow convinced myself that DD's development was typical - when it wasn't at all blush
Sometimes I do feel a bit sad about it, and I worry about her future, but our life is great and we are so happy. My DD is 4 now, and has made so much progress. I worried that she would never speak, but she does. She was initially quite unengaged; but she has become much more sociable and interested in other people. Some trick or treaters came to our door earlier and she said to them "My name is X. What's your names?". I was thrilled! She goes to mainstream school, and has friends. She surprises me all the time, and she brings so much joy to our lives.
It's great that you have a referral to see a paed early on. It might be helpful to request a referral for a hearing test, and a referral to see a speech and language therapist to help your DD's early communication skills.
Your DD is lucky to have you; all the best to you both smile

IcouldstillbeJoseph Fri 01-Nov-13 10:13:37

Thank you
We already have an audiology appt as DS had severe hearing loss through glue ear (mute until grommets at 18mo) and DD has already burst her ear drum so thought best to get checked
And she has an ophthalmologist appt too as she has a squint
Feels never-ending...but I know you all know that.

marchduck Fri 01-Nov-13 11:22:18

Get yourself one of those big family organiser calendars to keep track of the appointments. I wouldn't have given one house room before all this happened with DD, but I couldn't do without it now. Also a good idea to keep a date record of when your DD does something new.
It's'great that you have an older DS; having him there will benefit your DD so much. There is 23 months between my DS and DD, and he is without doubt better than any of the therapies and interventions she has had. He has opened the world for her in a way that I couldn't.

eatyourveg Fri 01-Nov-13 13:44:19

And some lever arch files too for all the paperwork from the various professionals. I have a shelf specifically for dc's files.

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