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Worried about my anxious dd.

(31 Posts)
JessicaWakefield1 Sat 19-Oct-13 22:18:15

DD is 2.7 also have dd2 who is 3 months. Dd1 has always been a bit of a worrier but it seems to be getting worse and not better to the point that I'm concerned it will be an actual problem that she will need outside help with.

One issue is that she will hide when anyone comes to the house, even those she knows loves and sees regularly. She will ignore them to the point of rudeness sometimes taking over an hour to warm up!

Today she attended a princess and pirates party. Loves Princesses begged for Cinderella dress in tesco but point blank refused to wear it even when she saw all the other kids dressed up. She also has issues around getting dressed generally - its always a massive fuss and she usually seems genuinely quite distessed and upset by the end of it.

Back to the party - theres a magic show. Dd (by no means the youngest child there) absolutely terrified of magician, screaming "I dont like it. Get me out of here!" out of 30 kids dd is the only one scared. Did eventually watch the show and enjoyed it but when asked if she would like to see it again replied forcefully "no cos it was scary" . She is the same with tv programmes and at her little music play group things that she goes to. Often seemingly terrified of the props eg. a toy spider. She is always the last to go and get an instrument or whatever and is scared to do so. Won't do any part of the class without me.
One on one with the few friends we have over she is incredibly full on - wanting hugs and handholding until the other child often backs off and runs away from her sad she will also copy another child's emotions - laugh if they laugh, cry if they cry. . She doesn't attend nursery yet so hasn't socialised with very many kids

Sorry its so long and jumbled. I'm still trying to organise my thoughts on it. DH thinks shes fine and will grow out of it but he doesn't take her to groups or play dates so doenst really see. I am a bit of a worrier myself so it could be me over reacting. I would really appreciate honest opinions on whether this is all normal and if I can do anything to help her.

Goldmandra Wed 23-Oct-13 19:01:01

I am always sorry when people jump to diagnose autism! This is wrong.

Who has diagnosed this child? hmm

You may not want to offer the same advice as other posters. You have different children and different life experiences but that doesn't mean that they are wrong and you are right.

bundaberg Wed 23-Oct-13 19:17:46

no-one has jumped to diagnose autism.

i mentioned it because a lot of her behaviour is similar to that of my 2 sons, and many other kids I know, who happen to be on the spectrum.

this child's behaviour COULD point to something like sensory issues or similar that make her uncomfortable in large groups, dislike the feeling of clothing etc

pointing out that a behaviour COULD be part of something else is not diagnosing,, it's giving the OP a chance to read up on that and decide for herself if she thinks it's something she wants to look into.

I had a whole host of people tell me DS1 was "totally normal" and that "all kids do that" for years, which actually really wasn't helpful!

As we can see from the thread the OP has made her own decisions about the situation and is happily handling it. win!

bundaberg Wed 23-Oct-13 19:18:52

BTW,,. the sensitive child book was one of the first I bought, in an attempt to work out what was up with DS1... just saying wink

brettgirl2 Sat 26-Oct-13 08:08:11

I think autism is difficult because all toddlers show some potential signs of it. Most of us could write a post at that age that would get a suggestion from someone.

OP she's 2.7...... The copying is normal, hiding they all do to a more or less degree. The toddler group I went to yesterday one little girl just sat and cuddled mum petrified.

Good luck with the book.

bundaberg Sat 26-Oct-13 18:50:33

yep, i totally agree with that. But I'd always say, if you are worried, then to see someoen about it. IF (and I agree it's a big if) there is an underlying issue then it's so much easier if you're in the system early.

if there isn't, then no harm is done by being seen

mummytime Sat 26-Oct-13 19:02:48

I just thought I would say at this age I would have said my DD had absolutely no signs of Autism. Far far less than your child OP, and hundreds of other children. At 10 she has been diagnosed with Aspergers.

It is very hard to spot the signs at such a young age.

But as my GPs have always said, if you are worried you should seek help. Ask your GP for a referral to a Paediatrician. (If only to sent your mind at rest).

To be honest the best thing about my DDs diagnosis, is that I no longer feel any pressure to try to make her "behave normally", I just accept she will be different. Which means if she has a meltdown or refuses to do something, or has a weird conversation I don't get that knot in my stomach - I just accept it/deal with it.

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