Polish Parenting?

[margielajacket]

I was wondering whether anyone knew of any parenting techniques particular to Polish Catholic families/culture?

I hear that in traditional Polish families the father is usually the disciplinarian and is sort of a distant, cold figure. Are there any Polish mums out there that can tell me whether or not there is any truth to this?? Or any non-Polish mums that are familiar with different parenting styles from different cultures?

Any help would be appreciated!

[TombOfMummyBeerest]

Are you Polish?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

[TombOfMummyBeerest]

Sorry hit enter too soon...I should say, why do you want to parent like the Polish? Do they know something we don't?

[birdybear]

oh yes, not a sweeping generalization that all polish fathers are distant and cold. not at all.

[birdybear]

its a recognized technique also, officially called the polish technique!

[Doodledumdums]

DH's family are Polish and that isn't the impression I get from his them at all!

[TheGhostsAndGhoulsOfHitchhikin]

My Ds's school has the most polish in the whole county. I often see Polish Dad's dropping their kids off. They do not seem cold or distant with their children

[ButThereAgain]

Hmm, my Polish DH was parented in a manner pretty standard for the time. Except that when his pet rabbit misbehaved is mother got a relative to kill it and then gave it to my DH for dinner.

[ButThereAgain]

(I only mention the rabbit for fun. I don't think it amounted to a parenting technique, just a waste-not-want-not attitude.)

[morethanpotatoprints]

We have friends who are Polish, not sure if this is typical but they are a bit like the old traditional family we had in terms that Dad does things with the son, more so than his daughter. He disciplines them both but I wouldn't say he was strict. His wife is traditionally a home maker but is studying to better her job prospects. He is definitely a family man though and I have never noticed him appear to be distant at all.
He works long hours in his business so his wife does most child care, although he certainly pulls his weight when he is there.
Hope this answers your question, but as I say I don't know if this is typical.

[margielajacket]

Sorry, didn't mean to make a generalisation about all Polish fathers being distant and cold, was just referring to traditional attitudes/family structures, sort of like how Edwardian fathers were historically known for being aloof and the disciplinarian, as opposed to some modern fathers who may be more 'matey' towards their children.

Not trying to figure out 'right' and 'wrong' ways of parenting, just interested in cross-cultural styles of parenting. So, for example, some (but not all) French mothers don't see anything wrong with smacking as a form of punishment -
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/01/parenting-france-britain

Does anyone have any Polish examples?

[Sheshelob]

Are you doing research for something?

[birdybear]

are you writing an essay or a piece for the Daily Wail?

[margielajacket]

Thanks morethanpotaoprints that's helpful! Are they a particularly Catholic family?

[margielajacket]

Writing an essay, not for the Daily Wail...

[dyslexicdespot]

margie- do you know any parenting techniques that are particular to British parents or the Anglican Church?

[badguider]

The polish families in my city do a lot of things together - they have become a big audience for the botanic gardens and country park.. (I know this for professional reasons) and they attend as a whole family with both parents for walks, picnics etc.

[ButThereAgain]

In a more serious vein than my last posts, judging from my DH's family, and their extended family, I would be very reluctant to talk about a "polish" style of parenting. It just has much too much of a ring of someone desperate to create an angle for an article or a book or just keen to find pigeonholes for everything.

He grew up in a very Catholic household and that structured his experiences quite a lot, but then there are plenty of non-Polish religious families and in my experience the influence of religion in his house was quite similar to, say, the influence of religion in the house of my Buddhist Sri Lankan friend. Lots of regular festivals, weekly attendance for worship, a social structure built around church/temple. Other than that, religion didn't seem to make parenting very distinctive (e.g. very little guilt-tripping about traditional religious/moral values like no sex before marriage etc).

And in other respects his seemed a pretty standard 70s childhood. If anything, I'd say that class and educational standard impacted his family styles more than ethnicity.

[Mim78]

Thing is, do you think people in different countries parent to give their children the skills to cope in the country they live in? For instance British children will need too learn self confidence and independence to get on in our very free-market orientated system... No point teaching them to be unthinkingly obedient as it won't do them any good. This is just a thought rather than a conclusion I have come to....

[tabulahrasa]

Next door are Polish...I can't see that they do anything massively differently, other than food, we've had great discussions about meals, lol.

Oh and there's a granny that seems to live with them for a few months and then go home again for a few months, she comes and does loads round the house and does lots of childcare - but I don't know if that's a reflection on Polish society having a better multigenerational family support system, or just that they're a close family.

[Llareggub]

Lots of catholic Polish at our school. I can't say I've noticed anything in particular about their parenting style. In fact their are lots of different nationalities and parenting styles appear to be more about personality IMO.

[Mim78]

I am v lax British parent except that I do care about meal times! Staying at table and also eating a range of grown up foods.

Possible therefore I am lax Italian parent instead!

[caroldecker]

Polish parenting - makes the children shiny

[anderel]

I have Polish friends. The dad is very hands on. He goes to a Polish daddies group on a Sat morning ( with his daughter). He does night feeds. Helped with potty training. More hands on than my British hubby probably.