naughty step/spot protocol(7 Posts)
I know some people don't agree with this tactic and I don't want this to become a is it right or wrong thread, it's a question for those that use the technic.
when you put your child there do you expect them to stay still and quiet? I'm starting using the naughty spot with my daughter 2.6 and whilst she does eventually stay on the spot she wiggles, chats and even sings to herself whilst she is there.
I don't use a 'thinking step' but DM (was an expert in early childhood education in her day) does - she just leaves them on the bottom step of the stairs and doesn't worry too much about the noise (singing is better than yelling mind you!) or anything else as long as they stay there for the allotted time. Any moving off it is apparently dealt with by moving them back on without any other interaction (so no talking to them about having got up, just pick-up and replace).
You need to stop worrying about whether you're doing it 'right' and work out why you're using it in the first place.
What do you want to achieve by putting her there?
If that's clear in your head, will that be achieved only if she sits still and in silence?
Is a wound up child of this age capable of being still and silent for the period you require?
Why is she wriggling, chatting and singing?
I have to confess to being quite anti-naughty step/corner'spot because I think you can achieve the calming down required without putting the child in a special place for naughty people.
So think about what you are trying to achieve. Is it obedience, understanding that you won't give in, punishment, calming down or something else. Then decide how you think her sitting still and silent or not affects the outcome you would like.
I use it for serious misbehaviour like hitting or kicking really hard. The first time I used it DD (2.4mo) got up and moved towards me again and again so it took 20 minutes before she did one minute (I don't do 2 minutes with her, it seems too long at this moment), but since then she stays in the spot. As long as she stays in the spot and sitting I accept it even if she is making noise. Bum shuffling away from the spot is not acceptable.
It works really well for us, I've only had to do it 3 times and now she responds to the warning.
I don't like to think of it as a naughty step/spot, but a time out to think things through.
Give a warning first and then if they persist, they go onto time out for the amount of minutes of their age. So 3 minutes for a 3 year old. I always then get down to their level and explain why they are on a time out. If they move from the spot, then the time starts at the beginning again. I don't mind chatting, singing or wriggling, but kicking the wall or shouting, gets another warning and the time starts again.
The key is to be consistent with it and stick to the same technique and not engage in conversation. This is when it doesn't work.
The 'one minute per year of age' is meant to be a maximum, not a recommended time.
This page gives a nice explanation.
I'm using it as a timeout (if she's screaming and crying and cannot be reasoned with) and as a naughty step (if she has deliberately hit me etc) . She is 2.6 and I just leave her there til she's stopped crying. As soon as she's quiet I go straight back. really works for me. The other day she was screaming and throwing herself on the floor, there is literally no talking to her when she's in that state. I said she needed time out. after about 20-30 seconds she stopped crying so I went over and asked what the problem was and she told me it's because she wanted to keep playing playdoh!!!
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