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5 year old DS still not dry at night

(23 Posts)
wrenster Mon 30-Sep-13 12:36:32

I have BBG triplets who have just turned 5. Both the other two have been dry for about 2 years at night now, but DS still isn't.

We have tried lifting him, no drinks after 5pm, rewards, everything to help him stay dry but to no avail. On Friday I resorted to putting him in pants and I thought this might help him stir if he felt the wetness and he was dry through the night. He was v excited and announced he didn't want to wear pull ups ever again. Brilliant I thought, but sat and sun he has been soaked through and doesn't wake when he wets the bed and he sleeps in it all night :-(. DH went in at 10pm last night to lift him but he'd already wet the bed. We changed him and I expected him to be dry this morning, but soaked through again!

We aren't making a big deal of it at all, but I'm not sure whether he simply is unable to do it, or he's got used to a pull up and doesn't like getting up (he's quite scared of the dark). We have a potty by his bed and a night light on and even said he can call us if he needs a wee and doesn't want to do it on his own.

Is it just a question of time or does anyone have any advice? With him starting school now I don't want him to get teased about wearing a nappy.


Jenny70 Mon 30-Sep-13 12:42:04

My nearly 6 year old (yr 1) isn't dry at night, and many in his class aren't either (from conversations with mums).

My DS is like yours, sleeps through wetness.

Not sure what the answer is, one strategy is to increase bladder size by encouraging big drinks during the day, and holding wees until they need to go... not making them try when leaving house and emptying half a bladder, IYKWIM. A mum said her doctor's opinion was if they have sufficient drinks during the day and good bladder capacity, they won't need to drink later in day or go to toilet in the nightime.

There is definitely an inbuilt element, there is a hormone they need to decrease urine production... but that may not kick in until ?8 - certainly some clinics for bedwetting won't refer until close to that age.

Either keep washing bedding (sigh) or go back to pull ups (sigh)... he will get there, and won't be teased (assuming the other 2 don't make an issue of it with his friends).

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 30-Sep-13 12:44:47

My 5.8yo DD1 isn't dry at night either. She's in pull ups and luckily doesn't mind them. Sometimes I worry about it but mainly I just cross my fingers and hope she'll get there in the end.

My DS is 5.5, and still wears pull ups to bed - like your DS he is soaking every morning. Unfortunately I don't think being dry at night is something you can teach them, I think it's a biological thing that happens when their body is ready. It sounds like you've tried all you can to help him not to need a wee at night, but he's just not ready yet.

Personally I'm not concerned about it until he's 6, but then I've only got the one, I can imagine with triplets they all want to be able to do the same things! The strange thing is DS can go for hours and hours without needing the toilet in the day hmm maybe his body is a bit confused with times of the day!

Snelldog Mon 30-Sep-13 14:19:22

My DC isn't either (5). Watching with interest

Dippyeggsrock Mon 30-Sep-13 14:26:24

My DD didn't become dry until she was nearly 6 years old. We tried lifting, no drinks making sure she went to the toilet before bed etc. In the end she just did it herself. I was told that some children just don't produce the hormone that stops urine production until later on and that I shouldn't worry until the age of 7-8 when the doctors would start to investigate. Hang in there.

Jojay Mon 30-Sep-13 14:29:42

My ds1 is almost 7 and very similar, and his almost 5 yo younger brother is the same too.

I'm taking Ds1 to the doctor soon i think, so no advice but you're not alone.

exexpat Mon 30-Sep-13 14:31:05

I think 5 is still pretty normal, isn't it? As far as I remember, most medical advice doesn't treat it as an issue until after age 7, and even then, they generally seem to think children will just grow out of it. My nephew was still in night-time pull-ups at 8 or 9, and drynites go up to age 15 (!). School questionnaires ahead of year 6 trips still ask if children are likely to wet the bed, so I presume there are often a few 10 or 11 year-olds who wet occasionally.

I'd just keep him in pull-ups until they are regularly dry in the mornings.

bamboobutton Mon 30-Sep-13 14:31:52

I wish parenting books/leaflets would mention the hormone thing. Night dryness can't be taught or trained into kids, it's all about the hormone release.

It would save a whole lot of stress, worry and washing if parents were made more aware of it.

Poledra Mon 30-Sep-13 14:31:56

My DD1 was not reliably dry at night until she was over 6, and my friend's DD was the same. Both children were dry during the day before 3. They need to be producing the hormone vasopressin during the night to concentrate the urine so they can go all night without a wee, and that happens at different stages with different children. DD used pyjama pants rather than pull-ups, as some nights she was dry and some not. She got there in the end, but I could not have dealt with wet bedlinen every day so the pyjama pants were the answer for us.

UC Mon 30-Sep-13 14:35:15

Our 10 yr old is not dry every night still. He takes tablets prescribed by the doctor, but the doc wasn't interested in prescribing until he was 8. Without the tablets, he was wetting maybe twice a week, and that was with getting him up when we went to bed so he could wee. I don't think this issue is that uncommon, and I have read that there is a hormone that is required before urine manufacture is suppressed at night. If you don't make the hormone, or enough of it, it is hard to be dry at night.

Be patient, and don't make it an issue would be my advice.

MissStrawberry Mon 30-Sep-13 14:40:38

You can't train a child to be dry at night. It is all to do with hormone levels. You just have to sit it out and wait. What age mine were dry in the day had no bearing on night time dryness.

DS1 was 7
DD was 6
DS2 was 8.

magichamster Mon 30-Sep-13 14:45:04

ds is 8 and has only been reliably dry for about 6 months.

We were referred to a nurse when he was 7 (they won't refer before then round here).

The advice was:

No drinks after 4pm

Make sure they have at least 7 200ml drinks a day - nothing fizzy or with blackcurrent in it.

Don't lift them at night.

She explained that the bladder is a muscle and like any muscle it needs exercise to get stronger. Therefore the more you drink, the more exercise your bladder gets. Lifting in the night will not help the bladder get stronger.

She also advised against pull ups.

We did this and within a couple of months he was dry. It doesn't work for everyone as there are other factors like hormones that can cause problems.

At 5, don't worry. He will be far from the only one who is still in nappies at night.

Jinty64 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:56:29

Ds (3) 7.3 has been dry every night for the last 5 weeks!!!! I'm jinxing this aren't i. For the last year he has been wet once or twice a week. Before that he was soaking every night. It will come. No way will I not let him have a drink when he wants one.

wrenster Mon 30-Sep-13 21:32:40

Thank you so much for all of your reassuring replies, I had no idea it was so common. We've just lifted him again now and he's soaking. It's proving stressful for all of us ATM so I think we need to wait longer until he's ready instead of trying to force it.

Thanks for the tips too. Oddly he doesn't actually drink much during the day and consequently doesn't go to the toilet much and I never prompt him. I'll start trying to increase his fluid intake during the day and see if that helps.

Thanks again

PyjamasNotBananas Tue 01-Oct-13 14:15:16

My DS1 is 6 and still not dry at night. Far from it. He still wears a pull up and it has never once been dry. He keeps saying he wants to try without the nappy and we let him try but he always wakes up after wetting the bed. I think it's a physiological thing that happens to do with their hormones etc so there's not much we can do to encourage or force it.

Smokedsalmonbagel Tue 01-Oct-13 20:59:49


Smokedsalmonbagel Tue 01-Oct-13 21:03:19

Sorry, silly phone.

My 6 and a half year old is the same. We are trying to get him to drink more in the day. He wears night time pants and is wet every night. I g. Through stages of worrying about it but at the mo am trying to be chilled!

Thisisaeuphemism Tue 01-Oct-13 21:06:29

DS 5, has to be lifted, poor thing, about 10, then is mostly dry. Its a pain isn't it.
Still, I was a bed-wetter for years, I think its payback!

SanityClause Tue 01-Oct-13 21:20:45

Try an alarm. You can get them from ERIC which is a bedwetting charity.

All my three DC were still wetting at 5.

pud1 Tue 01-Oct-13 21:22:40

I am just marking my place is I can re read this thread every time i have the conversation with both my dd2 gps regarding her still being in pull ups. She is only just turned 4 and they are both of the opinion that she should be dry at night and the best way to achieve this us by refusing her a drink even though she has had some of her colon removed and as a result should have a good liquid intake.

I did not know about the hormone thing. I am defiantly going to pass that little snippet of info on to them next time they feel the need to bang on about it

Flopsy28 Fri 11-Oct-13 21:21:50

It is so good to hear other people going through the same thing. I actually searched on here for some advice and found this thread smile

My ds is 6 in January and still wears night pull ups. He's very on and off with how wet they are so I don't dare take then away yet as some mornings they are sodden!

Will try and increase his day fluids and let nature take its course.

greenbananas Sat 12-Oct-13 00:57:21

I wet the bed until I was 7 but have been dry for many years now grin

Please don't worry about this. It is completely normal, and making a big deal of it will only upset your child.

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