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It's getting serious now

(56 Posts)
plannedshock Fri 06-Sep-13 20:07:31

I've posted before on my baby not sleeping but now it's just getting ridiculous, I'm completely lost, my dp cried telling me he can't hack it I nearly can't take anymore.
I've tried her in her cot, just screams and cries all night, in Moses basket exactly the same so the lesser of evils is in bed with me, but it takes so much to get her to sleep.
Every night we have to endure hours of endless screaming literally every night without fail. She won't be put down at all, now I can't even sit down holding her I literally get so frustrated I could rip my own fucking hair out.
I'm not doing the cranial thing, silent reflux? Maybe, I just don't know anymore. I'm not enjoying motherhood at all now every whinge and cry just goes straight through me now I'm so so sick of it. Can she really be absolutely fine just not a sleeper? When I say she screams I mean like someone has flicked a switch to 100miles an hr instantly for hrs. I think I'm going to go crazy, or my dp is going to lose it. hmmconfused

SimLondon Sun 08-Sep-13 21:36:33

im not sure how old your baby is from your posts -
but there is help out there,
if you can afford it then a few nights with a night nanny
blackout blinds
cot propped up at one end with a couple of books if colic is suspected
medicine if colic (acid reflux) is suspected.

Goldmandra Sun 08-Sep-13 23:13:02

This thread has brought back horrible memories for me planned.

DD1 was a baby like yours and I suddenly found myself realising how people can end up losing it with their babies. I felt very close at times. She suffocated me day and night for months. I couldn't put her down when she was awake, she needed a lot less sleep than I did and she woke repeatedly for no apparent reason every single bloody night. I was on my knees with frustration and exhaustion.

I second the advice about putting her down and walking away when you need to. On one occasion I thought I'd cracked it by doing that because she stopped screaming and fell asleep but it was a one-off sad

I had to stop using a monitor because I would start panicking that she was about to start screaming again every time I heard her move.

It was dire and I felt cheated of the lovely baby days everyone else seemed to be having.

Sorry I can't come up with any suggestions. Nothing helped us apart from time. Your GP may be willing to give you Phenergan for her to give you a short break if it works on here. Sadly DD is in the small proportion of the population in whom it has the opposite effect and she was bouncing all night.

I hope you can a break one way or another soon.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 09-Sep-13 09:13:51

Not read the whole thread so sorry if repeating.

Is there a Bfing Group you can go to? They should be able to observe a complete feed, talk to you about the crying and check your tach and dd for tongue tie. My DS was exactly the same, he turned out to have tt and upper lip tie. He would feed for hours in the evening and then scream all night.

Have you taken her to the go yet? If not, go today. Get her ears, throat and tummy checked.

Crysis are good. Have you called them yet? Has your DH spoken to them too?

In the evenings what do you do? Are you trying to get her to go down? At that age mine wouldn't go down, so I fed them, fed them some more and took them to bed with me when I went.

Try googling youtube Richard and judy happiest baby. Bits a technique for soothing crying babies.

Could you and your DH take it in turns to look after her?

Ragusa Tue 10-Sep-13 13:44:27

Another survivor here. Cow's milk allergy and severe reflux was culprit with my DS. Once treated he git miles better - different child.

minipie Tue 10-Sep-13 14:39:30

"she's over tired for sure but I need to suss why she can't sleep, it's almost like she doesn't allow herself"

she can't sleep because she is overtired. Honestly there doesn't have to be another reason. no harm in checking with GP of course but overtiredness will in itself make a baby unable to sleep, they will fall asleep or nearly and then jolt awake. it's as if they pump lots of adrenaline in to make up for being tired, and then the adrenaline won't let them sleep. exactly as you describe - they won't allow themselves. some babies are more prone to it than others.

try a few days of long long pram walks to get her to sleep lots in the day. if it's overtiredness this will help.

boredbuthappy Tue 10-Sep-13 18:12:59

Oh god, firstly, you have my deepest sympathies. I have been there. It is horrible, you are not going crazy, little one's who don't sleep are THE HARDEST work on earth IMO.

Secondly, tell yourself that this isn't going to last forever, because it won't. I can't tell you when, but it will, 2 months, 3 months....could be next week, could be next year. I know it feels like it will never end, but it will....I was in exactly your place 2 years ago....and have come out the other side.

Have you tried light music or white noise, bbc news radio even? I agree with previous poster regarding a solid routine. I also found that sometimes light massage (squeezing) of baby's legs would settle him a bit, enough to drop off to sleep. We also had concerns about reflux, lactose issues and resorted to using Colief with his feeds. It did help a bit I think. Also, if it is a tummy issue, speak to GP and find out if they'd be okay with you giving LO some fenugreek tea once a day or so. It settles upset tummies and helps with gas etc...can't hurt.

Singing also helped, he seemed to really be into listening to me singing, funnily enough is brilliant singer now (for a toddler)....I digress

Bottom line, you will not go mad, you and your DP will be okay. One thing we did to cope was to each have every other night 'off' from baby...One night I waould deal with him while DP got some sleep in a quiet place in the house, the next he'd do it and I'd get a solid nights sleep. This really helped us a lot as a bit of rest really gives you the strength to deal with this sleepless mess the next day.

Big hug to's so hard x

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