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baby not reaching development milestones .... impossible to wean!

(28 Posts)
breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 09:01:10

We have had all manner of problems with dd, she is 7 months and I have had to start weaning as the health visitor is giving me greif over putting it off as the food makes her issues even worse I did start at 6 months but it made her poorly so stopped but I agree we will end up with speech problems if I don't do it now.

So I am starting to wean, she cant hold her head up for long and sitting in a bumbo / walker to eat is nigh on impossible as she just falls over..

Any advice on what I should do?

Tee2072 Mon 29-Jul-13 09:02:52

I assume the HV knows of the baby's development delays?

I'd speak to a GP.

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 09:07:45

Spoken to our consultant about it, they say "you just need to do the best you can"

That's not helpful.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 29-Jul-13 09:09:29

Well I would go back and say your best isnt working.

I wouldn't stress about speech problems just yet though.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 29-Jul-13 09:12:57

There are speech therapists who specialise in feeding/chewing issues. Maybe you could be referred there?

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 09:14:07

I am not stressing about the speech problems, I know how it affects though as I looked after a little one beforet that needed extra help for speech due to poor weaning.

I think weaning will solve a few of our sleep issues however they make her illness bad when I tried it before.

I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on positions or chairs out there I could look into

juneau Mon 29-Jul-13 09:16:23

If it was me I'd be pushing hard for your DD to be assessed by a paediatrician. You need to know what the issues are, if possible, and then get specific advice for how to tackle them. Not good enough to be fobbed off with 'do your best'. It's hard enough knowing what's best when your DC fits the mold and you can apply general advice, let alone when they don't. With the NHS I've found that the parents who make the most fuss get the attention their DC need - so make a fuss and keep going until you get the help you need.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 29-Jul-13 09:17:22

I meant you could get help with the oral.motor aspect of chewing..not speech therapy IYSWIM.

Plus an occupational therapist should be advising you on/providing you with seating

It's not fair you are being left to struggle with this alone. sad

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 29-Jul-13 09:18:01

What juneau said..you need to see a developmental paediatrician smile

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 10:07:35

We have paediatric drs, a surgeon and a development specialist all of which at the moment say the same thing. She had an operation which didn't really help her problem (she is unable to poo by herself) so we continue with suppositories and lactoluse which were helping until I started to wean her before and it all went wrong again.

I have done lots of shouting and phone calls and more fuss than most would make, we've been in 3 different hospitals in 5 months for several weeks at a time and she is a medical mystery

They are not willing to do anything else for 3 months as they say she needs time to develop and see what happens, however my problem is I can't wean a baby that can't sit up for long!

ilovevenice Mon 29-Jul-13 10:29:07

You should definitely seek professional advice, but for what it's worth, I weaned two out of my 3 sitting in a chair like this on the most upright setting (and not rocking obviously!). They couldn't deal with a bumbo for very long at 6 months, so it just helped them be comfortable. But their heads weren't lolling from side to side - if yours is doing that, it might not be safe?

ReallyTired Mon 29-Jul-13 11:16:24

I'm sorry that your baby is not developing as she should. I don't think that late weaning causes speech problems. In the past babies were weaned as late as 12 months and most victorians did not have speech problems. Prehaps your doctor can prescribe some vitamens if you are worried about lack of iron.

How does your baby take to tummy time? If your baby lies on top of you then she will hate tummy time a lot less.

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 11:57:09

She is on her front most of the time, she sleeps on her front and has very good neck control when laying down, however sitting up is a different story.

ilovevenice I will look at that link thank you

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 29-Jul-13 11:57:53

I personally would ignore the HV and wait 3 months then if they have all said that smile

Sorry you are going through this. .have been there

TumbleWeeds Mon 29-Jul-13 12:08:32

I had dc1 in the olden days when you were weaning at 4 months. Dc1 couldn't hold his head either so I used an adjustable bouncy chair, leaving him seating as upright as he could be.
Maybe give that a try?

Re constipation, dc2 had that a little bit later on (he started he was about 1~1.5yo). I found that well cooked food, easy to digest were the best thing for him. Avoiding rice based stuff helped too.
And dairy (I fund that even with bfing, if I was having dairy that made a difference to him too).

Hope you will find a solution. It's very hard to deal with constipation at that age. dc2 just refused to eat as he was so bunged up which made things even more difficult...

MrsDeVere Mon 29-Jul-13 12:08:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 12:34:50

Its really long winded to explain so I will try be brief, she isn't constipated she doesn't have the muscle development to physically push the poo out, its all soft normal baby poo.

She had a operation a while back, had some botox into her sphincter to try and relax everything which helped with wind but not with poo. She has had quite seriously every single test and treatment out ther, from mri to check for brain issues as when she was tiny the back arching she did they thought were fits (presented acid reflux but it was waaay extreme to be just that) all the way to having the specialist milks (nutrimigen & neocate) a biopsy of the bowel

We saw the development team a couple of weeks ago, they say yes yes she is quite behind however we need to give her time to see if she does catch up which I do totally understand. Unfortunately the downfall of having all the tests done is everything is a waiting game and we have exhausted all the options, apart from the majors surgery of a colostomy bag which I will not be doing unless 100% necessary

I think I will look for a rocker that sits up a bit and see if that helps, we get her into a point where she is poo'ing every day with help, but also with the passing every day she sleeps 5 hours at night

When I started weaning last month, there was no poo even with help and back to being up every hour in the night.

MiaowTheCat Mon 29-Jul-13 13:13:40

Might sound daft - but ask the prem baby forum for suggestions if it's the sitting up to eat part that's an issue. Because of the recommendations to wean at actual, rather than adjusted age - lots of them will have had to work with similar in terms of babies not sitting confidently up to use a sleek minimalist easy to clean high chair (can you tell my resentment on the great big thing we had to buy here?!)

For what it's worth this is the one we bought when we were having to wean DD1 in that sort of situation www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Picnic-Highchair---Teddy%27s-Wash-Day/887650,default,pd.html - she could sit but needed support to maintain her stability... but she had very good head and neck control at least.

Like I say - the parents of preemies might have some more ideas or alternatives because our highchair drives me fucking crackers - but did the job it was bought to do at the time and I can't justify buying another one now!

FrussoHathor Mon 29-Jul-13 13:26:11

I have never heard of delayed weaning causing speech problems.
Your HV should be supporting you not giving you grief.

My dd had poor head control, we used to sit her in her carseat to feed.

redwellybluewelly Mon 29-Jul-13 13:34:49

We found that paediatricians and HVs were often in conflict with each other. Our DD1 was labelled failure to thrive and I was under massive pressure to move to a high calorie feed rather than breastfeeding - an HV told me I should be offering water through the night to help her sleep longer!

I have heard that delaying any food can delay the oral muscle development but id be pushing very hard for assessment by a SaLT for additional help as they do feeding assessments as partkof their role.

breakingup Mon 29-Jul-13 15:57:12

Thank you for all your replies,

I am going to give the car seat a try as she likes sitting in there.

Deliaskis Mon 29-Jul-13 16:00:01

Hi, can't comment on the developmental delay except to say that it does sound like you need more/better support, but I also weaned DD in a bouncy chair on its most upright setting. She sat up on her own at 7 months but Drs recommended weaning at 5 months due to reflux.

D

MrsDeVere Mon 29-Jul-13 16:01:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPear Mon 29-Jul-13 16:06:10

Hello

Just to add a little something; both my boys were early (10 and 9 weeks respectively) and so I know what is like when you are told to wean when they don't seem ready. DS 1 was the worse he was really quite floppy. He wore a neck pillow and was in the bouncy chair for the first two months. I used really thin purees - if you want an idea look at the jars marketed at 4 month plus. You don't have to feed it to your little one just to get an idea of the thickness. Also forget meat and starchy based purees as they are just too thick; I started with fruit based and the baby cereal made with water (they have added iron but no sugar/salt) -neither of mine like the rice. Don't worry about the amount it will tiny. Also ask for some vitamins and iron supplements esp. if breastfeeding.

chesticles Mon 29-Jul-13 16:15:30

My DS had a cleft palate and we were very careful with weaning in case he choked. Initially my DH used to hold him sitting on his lap facing away from him with his head resting against his stomach and supporting his head as much as possible. Sorry, it's tricky to explain. But obviously that was only possible when DH was around, the rest of the time I tried to hold him seated in my own lap but into the crook of my arm.
I found smooth purees to be best, but not too runny (runs down their throat and chokes then). Obviously not the same problem as your DD, but weaning was a tricky time for us, and health visitors don't always understand or have the best advice for non routine cases.

I hope things get easier for you and DD soon.

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