baby not reaching development milestones .... impossible to wean!

[breakingup]

We have had all manner of problems with dd, she is 7 months and I have had to start weaning as the health visitor is giving me greif over putting it off as the food makes her issues even worse I did start at 6 months but it made her poorly so stopped but I agree we will end up with speech problems if I don't do it now.

So I am starting to wean, she cant hold her head up for long and sitting in a bumbo / walker to eat is nigh on impossible as she just falls over..

Any advice on what I should do?

[Tee2072]

I assume the HV knows of the baby's development delays?

I'd speak to a GP.

[breakingup]

Spoken to our consultant about it, they say "you just need to do the best you can"

That's not helpful.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Well I would go back and say your best isnt working.

I wouldn't stress about speech problems just yet though.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

There are speech therapists who specialise in feeding/chewing issues. Maybe you could be referred there?

[breakingup]

I am not stressing about the speech problems, I know how it affects though as I looked after a little one beforet that needed extra help for speech due to poor weaning.

I think weaning will solve a few of our sleep issues however they make her illness bad when I tried it before.

I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on positions or chairs out there I could look into

[juneau]

If it was me I'd be pushing hard for your DD to be assessed by a paediatrician. You need to know what the issues are, if possible, and then get specific advice for how to tackle them. Not good enough to be fobbed off with 'do your best'. It's hard enough knowing what's best when your DC fits the mold and you can apply general advice, let alone when they don't. With the NHS I've found that the parents who make the most fuss get the attention their DC need - so make a fuss and keep going until you get the help you need.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I meant you could get help with the oral.motor aspect of chewing..not speech therapy IYSWIM.

Plus an occupational therapist should be advising you on/providing you with seating

It's not fair you are being left to struggle with this alone. :(

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

What juneau said..you need to see a developmental paediatrician :)

[breakingup]

We have paediatric drs, a surgeon and a development specialist all of which at the moment say the same thing. She had an operation which didn't really help her problem (she is unable to poo by herself) so we continue with suppositories and lactoluse which were helping until I started to wean her before and it all went wrong again.

I have done lots of shouting and phone calls and more fuss than most would make, we've been in 3 different hospitals in 5 months for several weeks at a time and she is a medical mystery

They are not willing to do anything else for 3 months as they say she needs time to develop and see what happens, however my problem is I can't wean a baby that can't sit up for long!

[ilovevenice]

You should definitely seek professional advice, but for what it's worth, I weaned two out of my 3 sitting in a chair like this on the most upright setting (and not rocking obviously!). They couldn't deal with a bumbo for very long at 6 months, so it just helped them be comfortable. But their heads weren't lolling from side to side - if yours is doing that, it might not be safe?

[ReallyTired]

I'm sorry that your baby is not developing as she should. I don't think that late weaning causes speech problems. In the past babies were weaned as late as 12 months and most victorians did not have speech problems. Prehaps your doctor can prescribe some vitamens if you are worried about lack of iron.

How does your baby take to tummy time? If your baby lies on top of you then she will hate tummy time a lot less.

[breakingup]

She is on her front most of the time, she sleeps on her front and has very good neck control when laying down, however sitting up is a different story.

ilovevenice I will look at that link thank you

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I personally would ignore the HV and wait 3 months then if they have all said that :)

Sorry you are going through this. .have been there

[TumbleWeeds]

I had dc1 in the olden days when you were weaning at 4 months. Dc1 couldn't hold his head either so I used an adjustable bouncy chair, leaving him seating as upright as he could be.
Maybe give that a try?

Re constipation, dc2 had that a little bit later on (he started he was about 1~1.5yo). I found that well cooked food, easy to digest were the best thing for him. Avoiding rice based stuff helped too.
And dairy (I fund that even with bfing, if I was having dairy that made a difference to him too).

Hope you will find a solution. It's very hard to deal with constipation at that age. dc2 just refused to eat as he was so bunged up which made things even more difficult...

[breakingup]

Its really long winded to explain so I will try be brief, she isn't constipated she doesn't have the muscle development to physically push the poo out, its all soft normal baby poo.

She had a operation a while back, had some botox into her sphincter to try and relax everything which helped with wind but not with poo. She has had quite seriously every single test and treatment out ther, from mri to check for brain issues as when she was tiny the back arching she did they thought were fits (presented acid reflux but it was waaay extreme to be just that) all the way to having the specialist milks (nutrimigen & neocate) a biopsy of the bowel

We saw the development team a couple of weeks ago, they say yes yes she is quite behind however we need to give her time to see if she does catch up which I do totally understand. Unfortunately the downfall of having all the tests done is everything is a waiting game and we have exhausted all the options, apart from the majors surgery of a colostomy bag which I will not be doing unless 100% necessary

I think I will look for a rocker that sits up a bit and see if that helps, we get her into a point where she is poo'ing every day with help, but also with the passing every day she sleeps 5 hours at night

When I started weaning last month, there was no poo even with help and back to being up every hour in the night.

[FrussoHathor]

I have never heard of delayed weaning causing speech problems.
Your HV should be supporting you not giving you grief.

My dd had poor head control, we used to sit her in her carseat to feed.

[redwellybluewelly]

We found that paediatricians and HVs were often in conflict with each other. Our DD1 was labelled failure to thrive and I was under massive pressure to move to a high calorie feed rather than breastfeeding - an HV told me I should be offering water through the night to help her sleep longer!

I have heard that delaying any food can delay the oral muscle development but id be pushing very hard for assessment by a SaLT for additional help as they do feeding assessments as partkof their role.

[breakingup]

Thank you for all your replies,

I am going to give the car seat a try as she likes sitting in there.

[Deliaskis]

Hi, can't comment on the developmental delay except to say that it does sound like you need more/better support, but I also weaned DD in a bouncy chair on its most upright setting. She sat up on her own at 7 months but Drs recommended weaning at 5 months due to reflux.

D

[MrsPear]

Hello

Just to add a little something; both my boys were early (10 and 9 weeks respectively) and so I know what is like when you are told to wean when they don't seem ready. DS 1 was the worse he was really quite floppy. He wore a neck pillow and was in the bouncy chair for the first two months. I used really thin purees - if you want an idea look at the jars marketed at 4 month plus. You don't have to feed it to your little one just to get an idea of the thickness. Also forget meat and starchy based purees as they are just too thick; I started with fruit based and the baby cereal made with water (they have added iron but no sugar/salt) -neither of mine like the rice. Don't worry about the amount it will tiny. Also ask for some vitamins and iron supplements esp. if breastfeeding.

[chesticles]

My DS had a cleft palate and we were very careful with weaning in case he choked. Initially my DH used to hold him sitting on his lap facing away from him with his head resting against his stomach and supporting his head as much as possible. Sorry, it's tricky to explain. But obviously that was only possible when DH was around, the rest of the time I tried to hold him seated in my own lap but into the crook of my arm.
I found smooth purees to be best, but not too runny (runs down their throat and chokes then). Obviously not the same problem as your DD, but weaning was a tricky time for us, and health visitors don't always understand or have the best advice for non routine cases.

I hope things get easier for you and DD soon.

[AWhistlingWoman]

Hello breaking

My DD2 was born just over 16 weeks prematurely and, as miaow says it is recommended to wean at actual age so I weaned her at two months adjusted! She was still very wee with poor head control and certainly nowhere near sitting up yet. As many others have said, I weaned her sitting in her bouncy chair on the most upright setting with rolled up muslins around her to stop her head lolling too much.

Might the Bliss charity website (for babies born ill or prematurely) help? Here's a link to the weaning section www.bliss.org.uk/help-for-families/feeding/weaning/

Can you get a referral to a dietician via your paediatrician? We had one and she was pretty helpful.

I know that mentioned above your little one had been in and out of hospital quite a bit. I know that something that was mentioned to me in relation to DD2 was oral aversion as she was long term ventilated and had tubes and bits and bobs running into her mouth and down her nose until she was around six months. Understandably, having had bad experiences with things stuck in their mouth, some babies are not keen to have ANYTHING near them, even food!

If it helps, DD2 weaned like a dream but that did not prevent severe speech delay. It makes sense to me that the two are related in terms of muscle development but, in my very limited experience, they might not follow the other too closely!