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Very jealous DS & behaviour

(5 Posts)
LubyLu2000 Fri 19-Jul-13 15:44:30

DS1 is nearly 7 & DS2 5 months & I'm tearing my hair outhmm. There's so much I could write but in brief his behaviour has massively deteriorated. He was basically a good kid, if a bit stubborn, sensitive & prone to tantrums. Now it's as if he's literally had the equivalent of a child's nervous breakdown - defiance, tantrums, lashing out, backchat - half the time I'm really angry with him & trying (often unsuccessfully) to keep my temper & the other half really worried cos he just seems like such an unhappy little boy now.
I could go into so many specifics but the other thing that I think is important is that he's had very little chance to socialise outside school or nursery. We live far from both our families & I've not managed to make friends in all the time we're here so it's always just me and h

LubyLu2000 Fri 19-Jul-13 15:46:52

Agh - iPhone!

It's just been me and him on our own a lot which has prob made the jealousy a lot worse & I feel really bad that hes not developed good social skills like sharing etc.

If anyone has any recommendations on how to deal with older kids & jealousy I'd be very grateful cos everything out there seems to be aimed at toddlers. Thanks.

Andro Sat 20-Jul-13 23:16:30

Family therapy would be my suggestion, he sounds like he's having a really tough time adjusting.

Does he get much time with his dad? How much 1-2-1 does he get with you now that the baby has arrived? This sounds like it could be more than just jealousy. You could try talking to him about how he feels (I've found emotion faces useful); maybe he feels pushed out/replaced/not as important to you now so acting out is his way of making sure he gets your attention/you notice him/you don't 'forget' him (children are not always logical...especially when they're distressed).

LubyLu2000 Sun 21-Jul-13 11:24:04

Thanks for the reply. His dad works a lot ie at least 7-7 and half day Saturday but does play with him when he's around.

I try to play with him and give him my undivided attention everyday but its difficult to give him real 1 to 1 time when I have no one to leave the baby with.

I'm going to ask advice from the paediatrician but I don't hold out much hope cos I'm not in the UK and I don't think that kind of thing is done much here.

I don't really have any friends here and no family support so having to cope with this all day as well as no adult company is really starting to get me down hmm

LubyLu2000 Sun 21-Jul-13 11:24:36

That last sentence sounded very woe is me - sorry!

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