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Advice needed on 2year, 9 month old boy - Seems to be behind in development

(30 Posts)
Carly3869 Mon 01-Jul-13 21:04:40

Hey there, I've been worrying inside about my 2 year, 9 month old son for about 3 months now and it's started to upset me when I think about it so advice / reassurance needed! Here goes, I know alot of people will say don't compare children etc but the difference between my son and my friends son of exactly the same age is unbelievable. We met up today and her son fully talks in sentences, is potty trained, can walk properly, ride a scooter, wash hands, brushes teeth, listens to her etc etc - Whereas my son seems so young and immature for his age, his talking is developing slowly and is improving so not too concerned about that, I've tried potty training him but shows no interest whatsoever and don't feel he could do it yet as lack of communication, can't pull pants down, no concentration - I still have to use reins on him or he just falls over - Getting him dressed, teeth, hair wash is a constant battle - Doesn't listen or respond to me when I talk to him - He is very clingy to me also which is nice but doesn't really want anyone else - I just feel like he's a year younger than he is - There's no way he could cope with a nursery environment yet - I guess I just want to hear that it is normal behaviour and that he's just different to other children - I don't feel there's anything mentally or physically wrong with him, it's like he can't be bothered with anything other than what he wants to do, loves playing trains, computer etc - Wont look at a book - Sorry rambling now. Any thoughts welcome, thanks xx

musicmaiden Wed 03-Jul-13 09:06:58

WRT nursery, sessions for AM or PM would be a good first start, and he'll get some free at age 3 anyway. In my experience they won't generally be too worried about potty training until 3 and will work with you to train him. Plus seeing other kids 'in action' might be the impetus he needs (in all ways).

It sounds like he is just too preoccupied to answer questions, as is common this age. Try simple 'two choices' questions or visual cues to encourage responses?

My DS is terrible for looking where he is going, still! If I were you I'd lose the reins now and try and get him to hold your hand instead - easier said, I know!

FWIW my DS was much the same at this age, poor speech, not potty trained etc, and just past 3 just suddenly accelerated in development until now he's pretty much indistinguishable from his peers. He had glue ear and still needs speech therapy but doing well. The development between 3 and 4 is huge.

But if you are worried, do chase up expert help.

Paribus Wed 03-Jul-13 23:32:06

OP, when you call his name, does he respond? When you say smth like "look, a doggie!" and point it out to him- will he follow your gaze? How about pretend play- feed a bear, put a dolly to sleep- does he do it? Does he follow commands- simple ones ("bring a jumper") and a bit more complicated ("bring a red book and put it on the table")? Apart from hating to wash hair/teeth- anything else? Does he like swings? Is he interested in peers? Did he babble/crawl?

Carly3869 Fri 05-Jul-13 22:39:00

Thanks for all the messages. I visited the HV and she said he seemed absolutely fine. Did a few 'tests' on him and she gathered that he knew exactly what she was asking. She was showing him flashcards and one was of a seagull, but said bird underneath, she asked what's this and he replied 'Seagull' - I almost cried! Asked him to draw a line and he drew a zig zag line then said 'zig zag' - Almost like he was showing off! Weight, height etc was all following line as it always has been. She just mentioned that he may just have a speech explosion and will just start talking all the time as sometimes boys are a bit lazy! Feel alot better now, going to keep up with the potty training and then when he turns 3, the odd morning at nursery for socialisation. Thanks everyone!
In response to Paribus;
Yes he does respond if I say 'Can you hear the aeroplane?' - He'll then say yes and look up for it. Also follows instructions such as tuck teddies in for bed, brush teddies teeth, go and get your ball from your bedroom, get your cup out of the cupboard etc! Will not go near a swing though?! Any idea on that? No babbling really but crawled for about 4 months solid? Thanks

Paribus Sat 06-Jul-13 01:04:13

Carly, did HV actually say "the boys are just lazy"?????? Wow. Just wow. This is... I am trying to find a word... simply not true. And misleading.
I was asking if he follows when you randomly point to something- that's social interaction and ability to cooperate. Great that he follows commands, does he follow two-three word command ("find a tail of the horse" , "bring a red book and put it on the table?"). How does he ask for things? Does he point? Does he do pretend play? No babbling is not very good, but can mean nothing in isolation, crawling is very good smile. How many words does he have in total including sound imitations? Any phrases?
If I were you, I would go further to the GP or private SLT. I would be reluctant to trust HV who in all seriousness says things like "boys are just lazy".

rundontwalk Sat 06-Jul-13 08:28:41

Am also shocked by the 'boys are lazy' comment! I had that a lot-he wasn't,he was hugely delayed,working bloody hard to do even half of what his peers were doing & early intervention has been invaluable.

I'm really glad she was able to reassure you & it sounds like your ds is able to do lots of things. He is obviously a bright cookie!

Sometimes not liking swings can be connected to sensory issues,but he may just not like swings! I don't!

What you are looking to see developing is your ds leading communication-pointing at things unprompted etc. That shared attention.

None of us want to think there might be something 'wrong' & there most likely isn't with your ds. Can I just very gently advise you to keep an eye on things & go with your gut feeling? & if you have concerns,go & see your gp.

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