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baby being clingy help im stumped!

(7 Posts)
bubblepop Thu 01-Jun-06 13:25:25

don't know what to do about this.. my nearly 6 mnth old gets really stressed once she realises that im not around. if i go to the shop or somewhere and leave her with dh she starts to cry hard and then it escalates to vomiting . went out for a meal the other night with dh and left her with mum, mum rings us halfway thru the meal to say come home, she was vomiting violently and screaming and mum was unable to calm her down! we rushes home expecting to have to call the gp, and the minute baby saw me and sat on my knee, she stops crying and is all smiles!!!! i thought it was just a one off at first,but now she's done it a few times i realise its an insecurity thing.flattering i know, but help, i feel trapped!!

LadyCodofCOdford Thu 01-Jun-06 13:27:51

hmm you need to start by cgradually increasing your distance form her
same room other side
same house diefferent room
we had this and it is common up to abotu 2 when mine all forgot abotu it
in fact were fine when i wasnt there it was just the thought of me going.

blueshoes Thu 01-Jun-06 14:01:56

bubblepop, it's separation anxiety, a normal phase of development. A little early to start at 6 months, but then again, my dd got that way at 5 months!

Unfortunately, cod's suggestion never worked on dd. She just is a very cuddly (others might call clingy) baby who would not brook any compromises until she was ready.

By 9 months, dd was prepared to be held by others and after a year, I think she could tolerate my leaving the room so long as a loved one stayed. To this day (2.8 years), she will never agree to being left alone in a room, even with toys and distractions.

I just go with the flow. Unless there is a pressing reason why I need to do anything without dd, I would just go to her. And minimise any period of separation. Get a sling. Your dd is still very little. She needs you.

bluejelly Thu 01-Jun-06 14:22:28

Agree blueshoes, though as a mother i think you also need some time apart ( esp to spend with your dh)
It's not going to do your baby any harm to have a few hours apart from you here and there, even if she cries with whoever she's left with. As long as she's reassured and cuddled and held it won't do her a jot of damage-- and you will come back a more refreshed and happier mother.

MrsBigD Thu 01-Jun-06 14:22:57

bubblepop, dd was the same from a very young age on. Had to go back to work when she was 5 months old and we had to 'break' her into being dropped at the cm VERY slowly. First day I stayed, then left for 5 mins, 10 mins etc. She got better but for about a year she cried bitterly when I left - only to stop and be relatively happy as soon as I was out of ear shot . Now she's 4.5 and still sometimes yelps mama don't go, but then after another big hug and kiss she's fine

It will get better!

Auntymandy Thu 01-Jun-06 14:23:58

this is normal, Its when they realise ou have gone. It will pass!

blueshoes Thu 01-Jun-06 14:31:11

bluejelly, it would have been nice to have some time to myself during those baby days (not even necessarily with dh), but I am afraid dd was the vomitting sort that bubblepop describes. I think rather than let it get to that stage, my preference was to wait a little longer until my dd was better about separation. A month (or two or three) did not kill me but I felt it meant so much more to dd than it hurt me to give up my time. It lasted many many months but in hindsight, it passed like a flash. By 14 months, dd was settled in a few morning sessions at nursery and by 20 months, she was and is still going fulltime. Cuddly as ever, though, when she is with me - love it.

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