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At what age can you expect them to understand that they can't be the centre of attention all the time?

(9 Posts)
emkana Wed 31-May-06 21:35:46

dd2 is really hard work atm.

One of the things that drive me mad is her constant greed for attention, to have the focus on her. I'm trying to get her to understand that sometimes she can't be, by for example completely focussing on dd1 and ignoring dd2 completely then. When I do this though dd2 talks non-stop, as she will always start talking to me the moment I start talking to dd1.

Dh thinks she's too young - she's 2.9. What do you think?

Beauregard Wed 31-May-06 21:42:24

My dd1 hates not having all the attention and will interupt or talk over anyone who isn't giving her their full attention.I am hoping that this is normal childish behaviour as she is now 4!

blueshoes Wed 31-May-06 21:43:26

No advice, emkana, except that dd 2.8 is the same. As she is still the only one, dh and I generally give in to her unless there is a very good reason why at least one of us can't give her attention. Will be interesting to see what happens when her sibling arrives

emkana Wed 31-May-06 21:43:33

I do think it is normal but is it something that you should try to work actively against?

It makes me so cross sometimes because dd1 will just stand back and let dd2 take the limelight, and I don't think that's fair on dd1!

FloatingOnTheMed Wed 31-May-06 21:50:28

Emkana, i think i read that it's not till 5 yo that children develop a sense of someone else's needs.

FWIW i have 1 dd, 2.9, & I am a single mum (so all attention easily given to her) but i have made a conscious effort to make sure i firmly do my own thing sometimes. I come on the computer, do the housework, even take a bath (she's v chilled out ) and i also determinedly watch Neighbours every day . She was pretty young when i started doing that (watching Neighbours i mean) & it was a real struggle at first, i remember the tantrums. Also when i was trying to read the paper. But she slowly got used to it and now - on the whole - she is pretty good at leaving me to it. I can't help feeling guilty every time i'm doing something other than paying her attention, but i try & tell myself it's good for her in the long run, and i am seeing the positive results. She is v good at playing by herself, getting her toys out etc, and every day i do spend quite a bit of time playing directly with her too. If she does protest (not often) when i say i'm going to do something else i can usually solve it by getting something out for her to play with independently (eg her jigsaw puzzles that she can do (very proudly!) by herself).

I always imagined it would be easier with 2 because they would play together but obv i'm wrong! I know what i said above isn't helpful to you, sorry .

martian Wed 31-May-06 21:56:26

I have just one dd who's nearly 4. She went through a phase somewhere just turned 3-ish where it was impossible for me to talk on the phone, have a (brief!) chat with dp or a friend if we met up with someone. I tried to both keep her reassured that if my attention were elsewhere I still had time for her but that I also needed to talk to somebody else and the more she interrupts the longer it would take for me to get to her. Now at 4 she's so much better. If dp and I start talking she just kind of drifts off in a (might-as-well-give-up) despondent kind of way and gets on with something else. I always make a point of rewarding her with much praise when she does that though.

LadyCodofCOdford Thu 01-Jun-06 13:29:05

yes ds3 is like this and its made wore by half term

he is three

i am teaching him to put his hnad u if he wants to talk not put his hand acrsoss my nmouth!!!

alicemama Thu 01-Jun-06 13:33:50

they never realise this til they're grown and left sisters 17 and still thinks we're all on this earth for her benefit only

meowmix Thu 01-Jun-06 13:38:10

36 if my dh is anything to go by

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