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Would this sort of invite bother you ....

(30 Posts)
ronnieb Wed 31-May-06 11:36:36

after a few opinions...
I am moving to a new area in about a months time, where I know no one.
We will be living at the very end of a cul de sac, of which there are about 100 houses surrounding.

My thoughts are that there must be a few toddlers (my dd is 27 months) about, so I was wondering how to quickly get to know them.

I thought that I would post a note through all the doors, explaining who I was, and the age of my dd, and any mums with toddlers 1-3 would be welcome to visit me at my new address.

Your opinions please... How would you feel if you got a note like that, would you think I was being pushy, would you go and visit

Thanks in advance

gigwig Wed 31-May-06 11:39:05

I think that is a great idea, I would be very happy to receive such a note and I wouldn't think you were being pushy. You're being a good neighbour.

neena28 Wed 31-May-06 11:40:37

Sounds nice to me, although I might not call round, I would certainly keep an eye out for a new person that had done that!

Piffle Wed 31-May-06 11:41:40

Even better could you go through your NCT \and host a coffee morning and get their booklet which would show you where other coffee mornings were held?

Marina Wed 31-May-06 11:41:46

I've got to be honest, although I think this is a lovely idea in principle, ronnieb, I am not sure I would visit on spec
My suggestion would be to get hold of the NCT branch details for your new area, and ask for details of any Open House coffee mornings. You can then go to someone else's house and start networking with other mums.
There are also toddler groups to consider and also maybe checking out the local events on the appropriate bit of Netmums.
If I did notes through doors I'd look for buggies in porches and stuff rather than every door.
Good luck with the move and making new friends. I think you are right to be proactive but I would be cautious about giving out personal details and my address until I had more of a feel for the neighbourhood.

Marina Wed 31-May-06 11:42:03

Snap piffle

oliveoil Wed 31-May-06 11:43:36

I would wait until I had moved in my house and spy on people first before I invited them in!

Then you could see who had children etc.

This is a very English (and pathetic) way of going about things however, are you American?

compo Wed 31-May-06 11:44:05

I think I would e worried who might turn up tbh. Sometimes you meet people through Mother and Toddlers and then realise they are not your sort of people because you have nothing in common with them. In your case they will know where you live and will be harder to shake off maybe

madmarchhare Wed 31-May-06 11:44:06

I wouldnt go putting notes through all the doors, maybe the ones I had sussed had got toddlers living there.

oliveoil Wed 31-May-06 11:44:58

Our Local Council has a number you can phone and they send you lists of all the toddler/Mum & Baby groups in the area, that is how I found mine.

madmarchhare Wed 31-May-06 11:45:30

Tbh, I wouldnt do it at all, what I mean is, if you are intending on doing something....

foxinsocks Wed 31-May-06 11:45:47

tbh, I would think it was a little bit OTT/pushy (though I can see why you would want to do it!)

we are on a cul de sac and you'll probably see the kids out and about on their scooters (certainly the older ones) and the mums/dads/nannies hanging out the door with the younger ones keeping an eye on the older ones. That's probably your perfect opportunity for introducing yourselves and having a bit of a chin wag.

I would probably also take your dd out for a wander around the street (on her trike/push along thing) and you may find people will nip out the front to say hi.

ronnieb Wed 31-May-06 11:59:47

thanks for all your opinions, I know there is 1 toddler group, its a very small community - more of a large village.
I must admit for safety reasons, I guess it would be better to 'hang around' a bit first

Im english oliveoil, living in dorset, but moving to hampshire.

poppiesinaline Wed 31-May-06 12:16:34

Will you have a front garden? If so, do a lot of 'front gardening'. Summer is a great time to move because people tend to be out of their houses and not hiberating. Especially, in a cul-de-sac, people tend to be more sociable. So, do lots of smiling and 'hellos' and 'gardening'!!

Northerner Wed 31-May-06 12:25:31

I'd think this a bit odd tbh. And you might get some odd folk turning up on your door step.

I'd gate myself out and about - M&T groups and stuff, suss out who is my cup of tea and then invite.

anniebear Wed 31-May-06 13:42:59

I don't think it seems pushy

its a lovely idea, but I wouldnt go as I dont know you

There is another web site similar to this (change Mumsnet round!!!) you can post on there asking to meet with any Mums in the area or to find out about toddler groups

Best thing would be to go to local groups and mets new people there

Piffle Wed 31-May-06 13:44:16

which bit of hants?
I used to belong to NCT there It's very busy and active

nailpolish Wed 31-May-06 13:49:13

i have recently moved to a new build, i am surrounded by people i dont know (or i didnt til recently)

during this lovely weather, just go and walk around the area/street/culdesac

i would be like a hawk at the window, if a woman walked past my house with a buggy i would all of a sudden have to go and straighten a blade of grass on my front lawn. i would just talk to her, invite her for coffee, and she would be delighted (being in the same situation, recently moved in, not knowing anyone etc)

after i had got to know 3 other mothers we held a vigin vie party and invited all mothers and similar aged woman in the street

some i didnt get on with, but i now have at least 3 firm friends who live right beside me

be bold, walk around the culdesac and gaze into peoples windows, if you spy them looking out wave and smile

talk to everyone

good luck!

SSSandy Wed 31-May-06 14:17:00

I prefer to vet people and their kids a bit before getting involved. If I received your note, I'd be surprised but not offended in any way. I wouldn't pay you a visit though. It comes across a bit desperate to make friends (sorry! might just be me) and that would turn me off.

I don't think it will take long to meet people and make friends though in a place like that.

Twiglett Wed 31-May-06 14:18:47

can you not just join a parent and toddler group? and smile at people in the street?

I think the idea whilst well intentioned is odd and liable to attract oddballs

but then again I live in london

gingernutlover Wed 31-May-06 15:59:54

try the netmums website too (as opposed to mumsnet!) they have local meet a mum pages which are really specific to area. I live in kent which is huge but the have different pages for different parts of counties etc. also the coffeehouse section of the netmums site is good for organising meetups.

and cow and gate website has a neighbourhood mums section where you cam search for people near you depending on age of kids etc


gingernutlover Wed 31-May-06 16:00:33

of course mums net is brill too

claireh11 Thu 01-Jun-06 09:27:08

Go on to NETMUMS.COM they have chatboards in all areas of the country and I have met lots of new people through my local one xx

MadamePlatypus Thu 01-Jun-06 09:51:27

I think this is great. When I was growing up most of the mums were at home and it was routine for people to ask round the new neighbours. I think now people find it more difficult to break the ice, but a note like this would be very welcome to most other young families. You might also find that some older people would like to get to know you as well.

Kelly1978 Thu 01-Jun-06 09:57:03

I would go and visit, and I wouldn't think you were being pushy. I would think the age thing was a bit strange, bit too restrictive maybe? I think saying mothers of similar aged children might sound better? I wouldn't put the note around myself as I would be worried about attracting weirdos. I wish I had been able to do soemthing similar though, I've been living here since Oct, and still not really made any friends, only accquaintences.

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