ds (4) and dd (2) not coping well with sudden changes. Help!

[MultipleMama]

Everything is chaotic at the minute, total whirlwind, complicated pregnancy resulting me being in and out of hospital. Currently in hospital until I'm 18w (I'm 16w now).

Youngest two are 9mo are actually coping well with the changes, I see them to breastfeed and pump. DH says they're settling the same and only cry when they have to leave at visiting times.

However, it's effected my oldest two. DH told me today that DD's night terrors are happening more often almost nightly now and becomes very upset when left alone for a few minutes. Creche has become a nightmare. Then he brought up that DS has been waking up and crawling in our bed and sometimes crying when asked why he says "I'm sad" but refuses to clarify why even though I can guess and crawls into our bed so DH isn't sad too.

DH didn't tell me earlier because he didn't want to stress or upset me but last night he had both of them in our bed crying and he doesn't know what to do. Neither do I!

I hate being away from them so we skype and make phone calls, plus they visit me. We have no idea what to do or how to make this easier on them. Please, offer us some advice. DH is starting to blame himself for not being able to "care" for them.

[grants1000]

I think you are both doing your very best in this situation, so hard for you all. I think they best things is just lots of extra reassurance and hugs and kisses, lots of time spent together and acknowledging the children's feelings, saying it is OK to feel sad and miss mummy and say you will be OK because the hospital has lots of nurses and doctors making you better. I think if you both discuss this with them it will help quell their fears a bit, I think unspoken things are much scarier! Maybe DH could have them in bed each night just while you are away, they could maybe benefit from the extra closeness and comfort right now. Can they have a special Mummy bear to hug a night that smells of you/your perfume? Could you write them little notes that they can read when they get home?

Hope you feel better soon.

[MultipleMama]

Thank you for the suggestions, we've been talking to them but thought not telling them that I'm ill would help but I guess it just caused more problems. I don't know whether to tell them I or one of the babies are ill - I have no idea how to approach the subject with them.

DH loves the idea of having them in our bed, says it makes comforting them easier.

I could give them my fleece blanket I'm using at the hospital for comfort?