What do you do with a nine month old?

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

What do you do with a nine month old? We normally go out in the mornings but from 2.30pm-6.30pm I'm really struggling.
I go to groups, I do the library, we go on walks.
I'm sit there every afternoon and play with her and her toys. Or we do the same in the garden,
She has tea at four, but we do that all afternoon. We do toy library too
She looks bored, I feel like I'm a really crap mum.
Should I let her play alone? I feel mean.
She can't crawl yet, a walkers no good in my house. She walks holding onto me though.
Please help, I feel really useless today

[Bluecarrot]

Yes, she should be able to play alone fit short periods of time now. You might need to build up to longer times though. Have you heard of treasure baskets /heuristic play?

As for stuff together, what about friends with kids similar age? Swimming? Painting? Play dough ( edible for last two!)

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Ah yes we go swimming once a week and paint, she has a treasure box too. I got her some crayons too and she loves to watch.
Sadly I have no friends with similar age babies and I really have no idea what I'm doing!

[Bluecarrot]

Ultimatly, for me, i needed to socialise. Is there anyone at tots group you have felt a connection to?

Have you tried groups like mum and baby yoga? Baby gym? Sing and sign? All will give you things to practice at home and an opportunity to meet more mums for potential coffee mornings "play dates" < shudder>

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Oooh no I haven't I shall look into it. We do swimming, sing and sign twice a week.
Mostly it's just us two and I'm running out of games
She does see other children.
I don't suppose it helps I'm always shattered .
Did a lovely long walk this morning and lunch out so we are in for the afternoon.
Why do they always gyrate towards these god awful plastic noisy toys??

[stargirl1701]

I have a 9 month old DD. we go to a group each morning and come home in time for lunch. Our afternoon routine is roughly like this:

12.30pm Lunch
1.00pm Interest basket (alone)
1.30pm 3 books
2.00pm Bottle then nap
4.00pm Snack
4.15pm Story basket
4.45pm Park
5.30pm Dinner
6.00pm Sing & Sign CD
6.30pm Treasure basket
6.45pm Bottle then bath & bedtime routine

Any help?

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Thank you that's great. Do you have a link for sing and sign?

[stargirl1701]

I do:

www.singandsign.com/products/time-to-sing-and-sign---audio-cd

I have no idea how to make it clickable from my iPad, sorry.

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Thank you.
I just feel a bit rubbish with her you know. Like she must get sick of seeing me.
Everyone says I play too much really

[stargirl1701]

Ha! My DD sobs when DH leaves for work and shouts Dada after him repeatedly. When we are eating, she looks at his empty chair & says Dada.

I've been in work doing some KIT days recently...not even a hint of upset at me leaving! I think they do get bored with the same person all day. I do think I'd go mad if we didn't go out in the morning.

[forevergreek]

Spend the afternoon chilling.
Go to a coffee shop, let her have snack in highchair and people watch.
Walk somewhere
Have a bath with her, both get clean and spend time together whilst relaxing
Let her ' help' you. Ie if your sorting washing, let her sit in basket buried under socks! Or bring her highchair to kitchen side when you cook so she can watch
Take a picnic blanket to park if nice with a book for you and small ball/ toys for baby. Relax!

Can you bring her tea a bit later? 4pm seems quiet early and restricts you getting back if out

Babies/ children need stimulation but they also need to learn how to do things alone. A mixture of things together and alone is key.

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Everyone's help is fab if I didn't get out in a morn I'd go insane. The signing sounds great as she doesn't say a word yet.
Her tea is at four as I can't keep her up later than 6.30 pm without her going insane. She seems to have set this strict bedtime. She sleeps 7.00-6.30.
It's a habit that's stuck. It works for us and she's happy to eat anywhere/anything
Also sneaks a snack in after about 5.30 when her GM is cooking

[ovenchips]

Mine are older now but we never did anything like that much. I think they probably had 2 x naps a day too.

IMHO I think don't make it too hard on yourself. Make some of the day something for you to relax to. Sit and watch a film with baby and few toys on the floor. Have a friend round for a long chat. You don't need to do something directed with them the whole day. 9 months should be about lazy baby days to me. Just enjoying being with them but not necessarily doing a lot.

[Bumpsadaisie]

Please OP don't think she gets sick of seeing you! At this age you are giving her what she most needs - consistent care from her main attachment figure! She really just needs to go along with you and whatever you are doing together with time to play with toys / objects and practise her crawling.

At this age I would just do whatever I I fancied doing (shopping, meeting friends, swimming,) and take her along with me.

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Thank you.
The washing folding was a great tip she loved it. It meant yesterday I managed to sort her clothes out finally!

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

I found a site called 'positiveparenting' the other day (while looking for things to do to fill my days with chicken poxy DCs). It has masses of activities listed by age. Some are really basic, but just make you think a bit diffidently. For instance, my 11 month old DS spent about half an hour this morning putting a few toys in and out of a small bag...

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Brilliant, thank you I shall have a look!

[forevergreek]

Yes they love small things.

Even at 2 years our youngest loves putting small bits
In and out of washing machine/ dryer. I will get everything bar socks out and he will spend 10 mins puttings them in and out.
He also loves washing up things. So I put him on chair at sink and fill will warm water and bubbles and he will play ages with 'washing' a wooden spoon and a few plastic cups.

I suppose the easiest things are to allow them to be near you without always having to occupy. Like the washing. When we make beds our toddlers play on floor inside the bedding we have just taken off. Gives up time to make up fresh as well as them close but occupied.

Think of maybe 3 things you really like to do/ or did before baby. then think of ways you can still achieve them now. Whether that's exercise/ lunch with friends/ visit places/ reading in garden etc.. They might not be exactly as before but Still good.

We used to run most evening. We now have a double jogging buggy and run with children.

We also like travelling a lot. So have back slings, adjust expectations and still head off a lot for the weekend

[SpooMoo]

Judyandherdreamofhorses do you have a link? I googled positive parenting and I can't find a list of activities anywhere.

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

Sorry, it's 'productive parenting'!

[SpooMoo]

Thank you, looks like there's lots of good info there!

Link for others: www.productiveparenting.com/aspx/activitylibrary.aspx

[MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong]

Great site thank you