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Ridiculous three year old

(23 Posts)
Rubyabcd Mon 10-Jun-13 21:29:18

My dd has just turned three, I have another baby 6 months! She is a nightmare at bedtime! Slept for twelve hours for first two years and two hours in afternoon. We now have screaming at bedtime, my husband and I have put her back to bed over fifty times in the last two hours, she eventually goes to sleep then s up in few hours, settles better as its dark then is up between 4-5 and we let her in our bed normally as the screaming at ths times wakes baby.
I've done the gate, and jamming door handle but she gets hysterical so decided recently to take gate off and persevere but she isvwearingbmeout plus she is so tired dring the day, I do let her have a sleep as she's so tired and I worry she'll get il.
My questions are
Should I persevere with the putting back
Stop day time sleeping-ths will be easier in sept as she starts pre school
Anyone got any other ideas?
With te aby and her at home all day, I need evenings to get stuff done, plus I start back at work in one week, part time but still wil be hard enough! Help, she is really wearing me out!

Rubyabcd Mon 10-Jun-13 21:30:24

Stupid I pad sorry about typos!

lolalotta Mon 10-Jun-13 21:33:28

Are you saying she sleeps for 2 hrs in the day time?

lolalotta Mon 10-Jun-13 21:37:26

If she is you need to cut that out and put her to bed earlier in the evening. My 3.6 year old DD has no day time sleep and goes to bed at 6.30pm and is asleep by 6.40pm usually. She wakes in the morning at about 6.30am. We're early birds too so this is ok.

lolalotta Mon 10-Jun-13 21:39:20

It sounds like she is simply not tired enough at bedtime. Does she get plenty of exercise? Must be hard with a baby too...I only have the one at the moment...

Geeklover Mon 10-Jun-13 21:51:35

For those that say cut out the nap it's not always that easy. Dd was a dream dropped her nap slept great. Ds1 napped until he was over 4 still slept 12 hours a night.
Ds2 is 3 next week if he doesn't get to lie in bed until 9am which he can't have older ones to take to school, he either falls asleep in his dinner or if I try and put him to bed early sleeps for an hour or so and thinks he's just had his nap and wakes up full of the joys ready to play grin
If he naps he may go down a touch later but will watch a DVD with his sister so I can still get things done

PogoBob Mon 10-Jun-13 21:55:25

We're in a similar position, 2.9 yo and 5mo. If DD has a nap in the day she is a total pain at bedtime and totally disrupts the baby's sleep.

At the most she can have 30 minutes before 2pm, any longer or later and we suffer.

She was a nightmare sleeper until recently but now does 8 - 7 with an occasional wake up somewhere between 2 and 5am. She does need exercise every day though, most often or not a trip out in the morning and afternoon!!

Good luck

StetsonsAreCool Mon 10-Jun-13 22:02:47

I have a just turned 3yo too, and we were starting to get exactly the same games with bedtime.

We fixed it by cutting out her nap and putting her to bed earlier. So she was sleeping 6pm-7.30am rather than 7-7. We're back to 7pm bedtime now, and she falls asleep at about 7.30. We have to wake her in the morning so we can go to work, but at the weekends she will easily sleep until 8.30.

The other thing we did was: for one week, only one person did bedtime. It meant that the old fannying around routine was broken and bedtime was consistent(ly boring) every night. Touch wood, she's been fine again since then, and is much happier during the day as a result.

Good luck! Horrible bedtimes are really draining and I can't imagine what it's like having to consider a 6mo at the same time.

Rubyabcd Mon 10-Jun-13 22:09:17

Thanks guys it is draining the life out of me, I am constantly ill at the moment! No she used to sleep 12 hrs with 2hr nap, I have cut regimented day time sleeps but due to her ridiculous behaviour at bedtime now, she is exhausted and will fall asleep in the car etc. sometimes though I do leave her as welcome the break! Should I cut nap totally? Then she's so tired she won't eat! Tonight we had to put her back to bed 63 times, between 7-9.30, now she's asleep!

Rubyabcd Mon 10-Jun-13 22:10:11

We have very strict bedtime routine, up at six, bath, night garden, story, bed always been the same!

StetsonsAreCool Mon 10-Jun-13 22:15:31

Actually having reread your op, I will share a bit more of what worked for us, in the vain hope it will help!

So bedtime goes: wee, teeth, PJs on, into bedroom. In her room she's allowed to pick 2 bedtime stories.

Before we start the first one, we say 'OK, we'll read two stories, then I'll stroke your back for a minute, then I'll go downstairs so you can fall asleep'. Read first story.

Before the second one: 'Ok, after this story I'll stroke your back for a minute then I'll leave you to fall asleep'

After second story, rub her back for (now) about 20 seconds then kiss goodnight and off we go. She'll chat to her toys and sing songs for a bit then fall asleep.

Once she's in bed for stories, she's not allowed to get out again - toilet breaks excepted.

But for us, one person had to do it, and stick to the script so that every night was the same until she knew what was coming.

We also do a version of rapid return, but involving conversation. So if she starts to talk to us, we say 'shh, it's bedtime now, time for talking is over, go to sleep', then 'shh, no talking, night night', then just 'shh' until the message sinks in.

Hope some of that helps. Sorry about the essay.

StetsonsAreCool Mon 10-Jun-13 22:18:55

Sorry, x-posts. If you have a solid bedtime routine, I think you just have to repeat and repeat until she realises it's not going to change just because she feels like playing.

See how she gets on with you dropping the nap, but be prepared to bring bedtime forward while she adjusts.

DD falls asleep in the car on the way home from grandparents on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and we've somehow perfected the move from car to bed without waking her up. Those days she falls asleep at about 5.30pm and wakes as normal the next day. We've had to make sure that the GPs tank her up with food during the day so she isn't ravenous in the morning!

ANJALI777 Mon 10-Jun-13 23:08:24

it's a tricky time, we are dropping the daytime nap at the moment and getting a meltdown at 5pm. But he sleeps so much easier at bedtime. We try quiet time a little before his old nap time, and it gets him through. Or sometimes if he really needs half an hour, we try and give it before 2pm.
I am due in a few weeks and really need the afternoon nap myself but i have had to wave bye bye to it.

HTH, hang in there, it gets easier apparantly!!

lolalotta Tue 11-Jun-13 06:39:08

Give her her main meal of the day at lunch time when she's not so tired while she is transitioning from dropping the nap.

TreeLuLa Tue 11-Jun-13 06:58:13

We have DTs who are 3.

If they nap AT ALL in the daytime (even for 5 mins) then they won't go to sleep at night until about 9.30pm.

If they don't nap, they go down like lambs between 6.30pm and 7.

You need to drop the nap probably.

Great idea about main meal at lunchtime.

omama Tue 11-Jun-13 22:03:55

Agree sounds like the nap needs to go. The alternative if you can't bear to get rid of it is to try a later bedtime. If you are trying to put her down at 7pm its likely far too early. Try around 8pm instead. We did this with DS as he was a nightmare with a capped nap & couldn't manage without a nap at least some of the time. If we put him down at 7 he'd mess around til 8.30. yet if we put him down at 8 he'd go right to sleep.

Another alternative rather than cutting out the nap completely is to just offer a nap every few days when she seems tired. We've done this with DS & over time he's gradually increased the no of days he can manage without a nap. Now at 2.10 he naps 1-2 times/week max, but still for 2hrs!

Rubyabcd Wed 12-Jun-13 19:49:35

Have dropped nap last two days, she hasn't been too bad to be honest during day but can tell she's clearly tired. I think I am missing her nap more than her! So last night straight to bed with only one get up! Hurray! But was up from 10-12, unsettled had to be put back about eight times, then slept until 4.45, she was crying so let her in with us so as not to wake the baby! Realise this may be confusing for her and us but don't want 6month old screaming at this time too! Tonight fell asleep during in the night garden so I gave her a nudge, bed for seven with five get ups, now asleep I think! Hopefully tonight will be better but definitely better tan 63 times the night before! Think meal at lunchtime a great idea as we had crying tonight over tea!
Thanks for the support, we've had two episodes like this before with her, when I was pg, when baby born and they passed so hopefully this will! It's hard work though!

CreatureRetorts Wed 12-Jun-13 19:52:58

Do you have decent blackout blinds? You said she settles better when later because it's dark?

We've got double blackout blinds in both DCs rooms (3.8 and 18 months) otherwise no chance they'll settle. With my eldest he still needs a nap most days. On a nap day bedtime is 8pm and non nap day it's 6.30/7pm.

I thought dropping the nap would sort bedtimes but it makes things worse.

Rubyabcd Wed 12-Jun-13 20:24:26

Got roller blind black out but light does come down the sides! She comes out of her room and its light on the landing, until late!

Rubyabcd Fri 14-Jun-13 20:04:51

Have stuck to no nap, last night fifteen put back to beds lasting about forty five mins, then she got up at 11.45 and we had about forty put backs until 2.30, horrendous. Haven't let her sleep today and she's so tired she's stuttering really badly and may be my imagination but I felt she was tripping more! Think she may have settled now about seven put backs tonight so far but she's got me scared to go to bed in case it all starts again! So tired and was rally reliable with her today which makes me feel horrible!

Rubyabcd Fri 14-Jun-13 20:05:25

Reliable meant to say irritable

CreatureRetorts Fri 14-Jun-13 20:20:02

Why don't you get blackout curtains to put over the top? Otherwise you're just making her exhausted when the light could be the reason she's not settling?

Rubyabcd Fri 14-Jun-13 20:34:50

Good point, may try this although it was dark between midnight and half two last night!.

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