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really need help 2yr old screaming all night

(71 Posts)
ladythatlunches Tue 28-May-13 08:36:43

Hi, my dc is 2yr 4 months.

Always been a good sleeper, she has a good routine bath milk put down to bed and she falls straight to sleep. Never ever had a problem .....

Until 2 weeks ago. She went to bed as normal. Woke up at 2am crying and screaming. She wouldn't lie back down I gave her a cuddle the she wouldn't get back in bed.

I thought maybe a nightmare so I brang her in bed. She stopped crying but didn't go back to sleep just played with my eye lids and banging my head till 6am when I just got up.

Since then we have had one night where she refussed to go to bed screaming sobbing.
I've tried everything from letting her cry it out. Giving her cuddles. Sleeping in her bed with her. Sleeping in floor next to her, even giving her a drink and calpol.

She is 1 of 5 and having about 2 hours sleep at night is draining me im exhausted.

If anyone can help or offer advice I would be so grateful

coronalover Tue 28-May-13 10:55:43

Oh goodness how awfulsad I really didn't want to read and run.

Could it be night terrors? My DS has them on and off and sounds a bit like you described. When he has them I keep his room dark, give him a cuddle and try not to get him too "awake" IYKWIM. After a few minutes he calms down and will lie back down, then I quickly leave.

It may have been night terrors that have got your DD out of good sleeping habits but if you try doing what I do and keep to her normal routine in every other way she'll hopefully get back to normal. Here's a brew to help you get through the rest of the day!

ladythatlunches Tue 28-May-13 11:56:32

Thank you.

I don't think it's nigt terrors as as soon as she calls for me she is up awake standing up refusing to lie back down and go to sleep.

She asks for cuddles and I cuddle her without getting her up but as soon as I go to go she she is uo screaming wanting me to stay sad

Im so tired and feel so so low

coronalover Tue 28-May-13 12:15:37

oh dear, can she tell you why she's upset? maybe if she can talk about it during the day time you can get a better idea of what to do at night?

could she be doing this as a roundabout way of getting more attention from you? not deliberately of course!

ladythatlunches Tue 28-May-13 13:01:57

She doesn't seam to understand when I ask her sad I just can't bare the thought of tonight.

The days are so mad that the evenings were mine ans dhs now its 24/7 im pooped

DS is a similar age and crying before bed and naps although thankfully not during the night he is often up early and sometimes cries then too (when I say cries it varies from a bit of a cry to an all out scream) - it is almost always coupled with various requests for different things/changing his mind about things and basically doing whatever he can to get us to stay in the room. He's absolutely fine all the while we're in there so I've been doing all I can to make his routine brief but comforting him as much as possible before leaving. I tell him I'll be just down the hall and I'm there for him but it's time to sleep now and I'll see him when he wakes up/in the morning. I then breezily say goodnight and leave. It helps that we have a video monitor so I can keep tabs on him but more often than not he cries for a few minutes and then chats/sings to himself before falling asleep. I hate that he's crying before pretty much every sleep but I've found the longer I stay giving into his requests the more angry I get but also he seems to cry for longer and take longer to fall asleep as well

this is a good article which may help. I personally think it's a combination of separation anxiety and not wanting the play to stop. I'm ignoring those who tell me to cut his nap because I can barely handle his cranky ass all day with a nap really think he still needs it at the moment

Hats off to you with 5 though..I have an idea of what you're going through and I'm just getting by with 2 wink

Hopefully it's just a phase and will be over for you soon

ladythatlunches Tue 28-May-13 14:10:59

I so hope it is a phase.

Im sitting here with tears rolling down because im yawning so much.

The two older children had sleepovers that I had promised them for ages so having 7 kids all day has been really hard!
The dc in question keeps asking me whats the matter.. im trying to explain mummy is tired because of not getting any sleep.. she isn't gettint it at all.

coronalover Tue 28-May-13 18:32:39

oh I really feel for you sad

have you tried a sticker chart (and/or a bit of chocolate bribery!) for "good" sleeping? or a gro clock so she knows when she's supposed to be asleep?

DS is now 3.4yo but at 2.5 he had trouble at bedtime and would get up randomly during the night too. It took a week or so but the clock was very effective for during the night and early wakings and star chart for staying in bed at bedtime.

It might be worth doing both with her to really emphasise what you expect of her. and stick with it for at least a month even if she gets better quickly.

If you combine that with a "rapid return" and brief comforting like the other poster said she will hopefully return to her old sleeping habits.

Good luck for tonight. I'll be checking in at some stage as my 6mo will be sure to get me up!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 08:45:30

Terrible night sad exhausted and emotional.

Older dc was being so naughty last night. I tried to havea eearly night but wih her kicking my bed and dh telling her off it was impossible.

Little one did her usual at 1:30am went in for ages till I gave up and went to sleep on her floor. I waited till she fell asleep then got in my bed. She woke up at 5:30am

sad

leobear Wed 29-May-13 10:11:20

Massive sympathy. Worth getting ears checked. My DD is exactly like yours, normally a brilliant sleeper, but whenever she has gone through phases like this, it has turned out to be ears. Utterly baffling, because she denies it if I ask whether she has any pain, and then as soon as the doctor looks he sees her ear is red with infection. Worth a try.

coronalover Wed 29-May-13 10:15:56

oh how awful sad

Saw your thread on sleep too - it's a good idea to get her checked with gp, also see if hv has any bright ideas? have you tried the "wake to sleep" thing? if she always wakes at 1ish you sneak into her room at 12 and wake her up a bit - supposed to break her sleep cycle so she doesn't wake up at 1. couldn't hurt to give it a try!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 10:36:35

Defenetly worth a try. I will try it tonight.

Ill see if I can get a appointment at doctor. Bit difficult today as dh is working all day and getting there would be a nightmare.

Oh my house is a mess. sad

Need some umf

coronalover Wed 29-May-13 11:02:22

sod the mess! as long as everyone fed and clean everything else can wait!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 11:26:49

Twins are having a nap so im sitting with a cuppa.

Wish dh was home I could sleep all day

survivingthechildren Wed 29-May-13 12:03:06

Oooh. I have 5 aswell lady. My sympathies!

I don't know that I can say much that hasn't already been said - but just wanted to give you a little sympathy! I can however reassure you that my youngest in now 5, and all sleep soundly at night.

However the oldest is now heading out more... so I'm back to staying up all night worrying about him!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 12:35:36

It's hard isn't it.

There like little rat bags today.

Just so exhausted today feeling like I can't cope.

What is wrong with them ahhhhh

Sarah1611 Wed 29-May-13 15:06:59

If you're trying lots of different approaches to get her to sleep, the one element you'll be overlooking is consistency. You've had no luck with any of your approaches so what I would recommend is letting her cry it out. Three nights of it, (sorry but it'll be worth it in the end!) will crack it.

She's still shouting at night, quite simply because interesting things happen- you go in, there's cuddles, entertainment and above all, some form of attention. And different things each time, what a bonus!

Wind down bedtime routine as usual (no tv), explain that bedtime is a time for sleeping and that she's not to shout. Explain that mummy is going to sleep in her bed, and she in hers. Off to bed as usual. If you need to go in her room during the night as you feel there is a safety issue, avoid eye contact, lie her back down and say 'sleep time now' or 'night night'. Night time is not the time for a chat, it's for sleeping. Be as boring as you can- no cuddles etc. you need to remember that if she is stimulated by your presence in any way then she will aim for it each/any night.

Yes, it's hard but it will crack. She shouts to get you to entertain her. She will be very cross that you don't go in but you'll need to be strong. On the morning after her first quiet night maybe have a special treat and make a huge fuss! Try to avoid talking about it until after then as you are feeding the behaviour by rewarding it with your attention- therefore saving it until you have the positive to feed with the attention will reinforce it.

Good luck getting the sleep you deserve!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 15:19:33

Thank you sarah.

She is so loud and wakes the other dc up, but to be honest im at the end of my tether, so letting her cry it out will have to be the option I take.

It's funny because it would of been my advice to someone before this happened.

Wish me luck

Sarah1611 Wed 29-May-13 16:46:57

Ah well! That's another good way to look at it- 'what would you say to a friend in your position?'

I know that leaving a child to cry is contovertial but it will only be a short term problem if dealt with. I should imagine that a confused/stressed/angry child on and off through the night, every night not only is detrimental to theirs and their parents sleep but also cannot be good for their overall stress levels and understanding of life, when they are unsure what will happen next and having to work out how to get the attention they're after.

Could your other children go and stay with a relative for a couple of nights maybe?

You'll get there sooner than you think I'm sure- but it just might not feel it at 3am!

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 20:00:59

Ok so bed at 6pm screaming taking nappy and clothes off throwing pillows out of bed with her dummy and bib.

This goes on till about 10 minutes ago .. all is quiet.

Dare I say 1-0 to mummy?
Must go and check she is clothed in a minute just pray to god I don't wake the child of satan

ladythatlunches Wed 29-May-13 20:08:23

Just been in very quietly. She has stripped to just her nappy every thing thrown out!
I have put the cover over her.. its bothering me she hasnt got her pj's on sad

I don't want to wake her to put them on .. help

Sarah1611 Wed 29-May-13 20:27:09

How cold is her room? Could you crank up the temp a tad and give her a blanket?

If not then I'd maybe just put pj bottoms on, saying nothing, as stealthy as possible and then leave- its possible she'll sleep through.

You're doing well so far!

Sarah1611 Wed 29-May-13 20:28:33

If she normally has just a blanket and pjs, no sleeping bag then leave her. Which brings me to another thought- could you put her to sleep in a sleeping bag other times anyway? Harder to get off and stand up.

robynamy1 Wed 29-May-13 20:33:41

my daughter has recently turned two and has never been a good sleeper. more often than not in my bed. she doesnt have a dummy so she soothes and relaxes herself with bottles of cordial.many of them, even throughout the night. lately she has been waking suddenly and crying/ whimpering but when i ask if she is hurting or scared she wont reply so i dont know whether it is a nightmare or even teething but she has no symptoms and seems of good health

Sarah1611 Wed 29-May-13 21:03:16

Please, please never put anything other than pure water or milk in a baby bottle. If a child must have juice/squash it should ideally be in a cup with a form of straw so that it bypasses the teeth as much as possible, and served with food so that the sugars from the drink wash down with the food.

As for squash for the night- a really bad idea. It will sit on her teeth through the night and weaken them. The continuous flow of sugary drinks is also a really bad habit for her to get into which could last into adulthood. As we as adults know, anything is generally fine in moderation. A steady stream of sugared water every night is definitely not.

As for the waking in the night, it could be a number of things. Chances are it could be a phase- you're there as a comfort and you seem happy enough to have her sleep with you. Play it by ear and give it a few more days to see if it settles down.

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