Coping with 2! Just bought a couple of books....(8 Posts)
We have a 5 week and a 3yr old. I am feeling the need for some guidance on specifics like bedtime routines as am at a bit of a loss how to approach this and need to build some structure in. Just bought big Gina Fords Contented baby and toddler book as well as Simon Caves Coping with Two. Anyone read these? X
No not read them. I had a newborn, 22 month old , 7 and 10 year old.
Routine was the saviour for me. Used to bath the youngest ones togther, feed the baby whilst reading a bed time story and hope for the best ! The key for me was getting the 22 month old to sleep, knew newborn would be awake for a bit longer
I have read coping with two, nothing rocket science in there IMO!
I'd bin the books, they'll just add to your anxiety and (incorrect) sense of inadequacy
If you have the inclination and the time on your hands to buy and read parenting books with a 5 week old .... you are doing fine. Personally I would just get back to cuddling your newborn and toddler - all will go swimmingly - you dont need to over engineer your life. Routine can be as basic as breakfast lunch dinner -- 8ish, 1ish 5ish - bath and bed 7ish. Gina will tell you that you need to feed at precisely 7.36 and 40 seconds - just to put the wind up you. Also as you know "routines" evolve with age, feeding, development, seasons and day light saving time changes!!...etc - goooo with the floooow and enjoy the sloooooow - from someone who did 3 under 3 and then went for number 4...
Thanks ladies... I guess I am finding bedtime a mystery as in trying to settle DS with newborn in tow! Should I be trying to put baby down in bed at same time, thus enabling me to settle toddler 1 to 1 and establishing betime routine for baby too or not worry about newborns this and have him with us (being held/sling) whilst story telling etc?? I was reading I should try to bath them at the same time but this just seems an added stress when I have been getting on fine bathing baby in the day time and toddler at bedtime (as usual). I can't even remember when DS1's bedtime routine became established (it works pretty well so must have done something right!?)......
Also, whilst feeds are generally 3 hourly for baby there doesn't really seem much of a pattern/times emerging for his early evening/nighttime feeds which I would like to start establishing, simply so I know where I am a bit more! Asking too much at this stage? By my nature, I am quite an organised person and concious of the clock, hence my questions!
Common sense would tell you that you should stick with the established routine you have for your toddler and work the new born's routine around that...although Gina doesn't even consider that that there are other children and deadlines in the mix (nursery/school drop off/collection/work/drs appointments etc).
But she does state that you need to have an end goal in sight and then work your plan backwards to achieve this which I found helpful.
So if you want to have an evening routine in place for new born which dovetails seamlessly with your established toddler routine -- work out what this end goal is for you -it might be that NB feeds at 5.30pm and 8.30pm to allow your toddler to be in bed for 7...working your plan backwards would mean that earlier feeds should be 2.30pm, 11.30am, 8.30am and 5.30am etc.
The key to achieving your end goal is having the discipline to start at the right time and everything will then flow from there and you will end up in the right place at the right time -- so in this example you have to ensure that you do the 5.30am feed on time so that the evening feeds will automatically be 5.30pm and 8.30pm to allow toddler to be in bed for 7.
Worst time for any parent is after 5pm -- we call it "cranky hour" in our house -- everyone is tired and as a parent you have the busiest section of the day ahead of you which if doesnt go well can be really miserable with squealing toddlers, colicky new borns amongst the ballet runs, homework, cooking, clearing up, bath, story, bed stuff....
Good luck - and enjoy
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