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Emotional/angry outbursts in social/sport situations

(5 Posts)
LubyLu2000 Tue 21-May-13 16:49:17

My 6yo DS is generally a great little boy. He's bright, getting on well at school and we're told he has good concentration and behaves well. At home he's a pretty average 6yo I'd say - he has his moments but mostly fine. We've never had any situations where he's instigated naughty behavior or hit out or picked on other kids.

However in social situations or football training he has really extreme outbursts of anger and/or tears. He just seems to get very angry or upset at other children, particularly children that are a bit overbearing. (I'm not blaming other kids btw, but it does seem to be certain kinds of children that wind him up). We don't have any family here and no friends with children so he's had very little socializing out with school. Any ideas on how we can get this under control cos he's now started lashing out at me when he's hysterical and tbh it's really quite embarrassing whenever your else's kids just seem to be quite relaxed and go with the flow.

I also don't know what to do about football cos it really is turning into a bit of a stressful situation with all his outbursts but at the same time I don't want to give up on it cos its the only way he's going to learn.

LubyLu2000 Tue 21-May-13 16:50:44

Stupid ipad - should be everyone else's kids. Also he really likes the actual playing of football but just seems to get very stressed when there.

freetrait Tue 21-May-13 22:47:54

Awwww, I think a lot go through this sort of stage, just maybe yours has hit it a bit later and in public grin. Does he have friends from school he socializes with and have to deal with his emotions then re if a friend won't play his game etc?

I'm not sure I'm an expert re this, but I think he needs to know that it's ok to feel the strong emotions, but then needs help to deal with them, to get them manageable- can he see things from the other child's perspective? Or can you help him ignore children who wind him up, get him to walk away? I think DS has been helped by having a younger sibling here!

Have you managed to talk to him calmly afterwards about what triggers his upset and then see if he can avoid it in future? Haven't been through exactly this myself, but have seen DS gradually get a grip (generally) on emotional outbursts in public. If he behaves well at school etc perhaps it is the sport situation that is the problem one as you say! Maybe in 6 months or less he'll have sussed it. Hope so!

LubyLu2000 Thu 23-May-13 13:32:29

Thanks for replying. We've had a bit of a breakthrough this week in that he went to a school friends house on Monday and then he came here on Wednesday. It went really well so hopefully we'll keep that up.

We've also come to the realization that any formal football training is probably just a bit much after a long day at school (very long- he leaves at 0810 and gets home at 5 on the school bus). So partly I think he's tired and partly he does have to restrain and behave himself at school so he just really wants to run free out of school. The following of rules and "having" to do things at football training was just a step too far at the end of the day. Feel a bit foolish only coming to that conclusion now sad.

freetrait Thu 23-May-13 20:33:16

Ah, glad you've sussed it!

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