Hi, my ds is nearly 16 weeks old and im so confused about what i should be doing with him sleep wise. The hv advice/guidelines is that the baby should be kept downstairs in the evening until they are six months old. However, ds would not fall asleep downstairs due to too much noise and distraction, yet would become over tired and fractious. After becoming fed up of having no time to ourselves in the evening and with his crabbiness, we decided we'd all benefit from a bit of routine at bedtime.
He is ebf so it is hard to do a last bottle, but when he was 9wks we started doing pjs just before 8, and a last feed (he is fed on demand so this would be no matter what time hed fed previously) at 8 in our dimly lit bedroom. We had a couple of days of crying but it didnt take long and he took to it quickly, quite well, being asleep by 8.30. This worked fine for about 5 weeks and we were feeling quitr smug! But then suddenly, he just wouldnt go down to sleep after his last feed. It started off with on and off crying that we would attend to to shush, pat and replace his dummy before leaving the room again. At first the crying lasted for an hour on and off, but its got to the stage of lasting two hours until tonight we have given up, brought him downstairs, and he has fallen asleep on the couch!!
I am now questionning what i should be doing. Should we perservere with bedtime, and if so, how? Or should we justhave listened to what the hv said, and not bother until after 6mo? It just feels that everyone except us has their baby in bed by 7!!r
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What should i be doing with babies bedtime?
YouMaySayImADreamer · 20/05/2013 22:03
Oh, and bed for Both of them is upstairs in their own bedrooms so I can enjoy my wine & trash TV in peace! 
It's obviously entirely up to you and what you're comfortable with, but that's the official guideline and just as a reminder monitors don't reduce the risk of SIDS nor do they help prevent it (including the breathing monitor pads).
Might be worth having a peak at Lullaby Trust, formerly FSID.
It's hard when a baby won't settle, but he's tiny so he'll get there 
I believe the reason why the guidelines advise babies don't sleep alone has more to do with the fact that under 6 months infants can, and often do, go into very deep sleep and stop breathing as a result.
At night, in their parents' room, they can regulate their breathing and during naps the general household noise won't allow them to drift into the heavy sleep.
Listen, I'm no expert and far from me to tell you what to do, but I'm a strong believer in information and then trying to make the best possible decision based on the available facts. So I guess I'm just suggesting you read about it, as this is perhaps not just a case of "parenting style", but an important Health issue.
In answer to your question, DD snoozed in the sitting room until we were ready for bed; when she was almost 6 months we finally felt comfortable getting her to nap/sleep on her own, before we went to bed. We were pretty baby-led and that also coincided with some of her "routine" patterns emerging, which made it easier.
Anyway, I remember that stage well - it feels relentless but it will soon get better
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