So I am due to return to work in 1 month, quite stressed about it all at the moment and it is not helping that there seems to be issues with DD settling for my MIL who is going to be my childcare on 1.5 days per week. MIL currently seeing us about once a week but DD seems to cry with her more than any other unknown adult. When she does cry MIL always responds by lots of cooing in her face which never works! MIL frequently points out all will be fine as she has brought up two children. I know I may well be reading too much into this/over-anxious/pfb issues but I am really worrying they don't seem to be gelling together. I have no idea how you can help a baby and an adult to get along, any thoughts? Or should I just be leaving them to get on with it??
Creature, I was thinking exactly that. I tried to relax myself and be positive when MIL came last time...will keep practicing! I think maybe part of the trouble is that I think she is too much in DD's face & this has been mentioned to MIL by DH & further to this conversation MIL informed me she had a new strategy & was going to be calmer but has thus far entirely failed to do this!
My MIL always used to tell me that she liked it better when she had DD on her own because she could do what she thought was best rather than do what she thought I wanted her to do. At first I was so annoyed at her for saying such a thing. In my mind she should be doing exactly what I wanted her to do because she was looking after MY baby! However, I came to realise that what she meant was that I made her feel anxious (mostly because I was an anxious new mum and I struggled to relax when other people held her or tried to tend to her) and she really wanted to please me. However, when I was out of the way she could just focus on learning how to please dd. I would advise leaving her alone with your DD for increasing amounts of time. Start with an hour and then work your way up from there. You know your MIL loves your DD, she would never hurt her and, from the sounds of it, is quite desperate to 'get it right' so to speak. Try and give her a little time to work it out for herself. Good luck x