This is likely to be long as I don't want to drip feed etc and want to give the full picture.
DS3 is a very sweet, well behaved six year old who is bright and articulate and is often complimented on his manners etc. In school he is confident and will happily interact with his classmates and other children and adults in the school, and happily narrated the school play. One afternoon a week his class is taught by the headteacher (who he likes) and this causes him some distress - it took almost a term of tuesday morning meltdowns to get to the fact that while he doesn't mind having the head teach them he doesn't like not having his teacher. He's used to it now and although he doesn't like it still, he now copes with tuesdays.
He likes to do the right thing and hates to think he's done or might do something wrong.
While he will happily play with any of the children at the school of just over 100 4-11yo he refuses to go to anyone's house to play and will often refuse to go to parties even though he always enjoys them after an often shaky start.
He's recently started going to Beavers and is struggling to settle - he's been 4 times and has yet to be confident enough to be left without a parent. He knows a few of the children there and his older brothers have been through Beavers, Cubs and Scouts in the same place. Last week they went for a hike and DH accompanied him. When it was time to come home they were offered a lift with the mum of one of the children he knows - he point blank refused to get in her car (with DH) and was screaming and kicking and trying to run away down the street.
Today he went bike riding with DH - they got to the cycle track and in a split second he went from excitement and looking forward to it to throwing his bike on the ground and screaming and crying that he didn't think he could do it. He learned to ride a bike a couple of weeks ago and has been happily trundling up and down our cul-de-sac for the last couple of weeks.
DH and DS2 have asperger's. As, we are sure believe, FIL does too. DS1 is a typical confident teenager with no social issues which is amazing since I have social phobia and his dad has the social skills of a brick
I have tried very hard not to see every little issue in DS3 as an indicator of AS but it's getting harder not to see these things in that way, especially with his sensitivities to clothing texture and his insistence on wearing socks inside out. We haven't spoken to any professionals about our concerns as we're only recently beginning to think this way.
He is much more 'socially aware' than DS2 and 'gets' humour in a way DS2 just doesn't.
He's admitted he thinks beavers is fun and wants to go but will argue that he hates beavers if we suggest leaving him for a little while - we've pointed out that the leader has our phone number and we live literally around the corner and will come straight back if there is a problem. He's desperate to have the uniform but we've told him we won't buy it unless he starts to go without a grown up because I don't want to buy the uniform if he's never going to settle there.
Any ideas how we can help him not be so nervous and dependent on one of us being there? Do these behaviours seem like AS?
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Behaviour/development
How can we help DS3's confidence/social issues
9 replies
Fuzzymum1 · 18/05/2013 22:11
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