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confusing behaviour - Should I be alarmed?

(7 Posts)
Tultuli Sat 18-May-13 21:14:59

My DD is 4 year old..Plays well at nursery..very chatty and a bright child. But when it comes to responding to an adult she's just the opposite.

She does not respond to any adult..wouldn't even smile if said "Hello" or "Good Morning" or Bye Bye & She would just turn her face away...When I asked her why wouldn't she answer then she said she does not want to and would start crying if pushed harder for a reason...

Is she doing this because she is very very shy? How do I break this barrier?
Any ideas?

AcrylicPlexiglass Sun 19-May-13 10:12:57

My daughter is not far off 4 years old and is a bit like this. I think she doesn't like feeling that she is momentarily being focused on by 2 or more adults at once and gets a bit overwhelmed and tongue tied. She will often wave rather than use her words. I always encourage her to respond and model the right words but don't make a huge deal of it. I figure it will come in time.

Tultuli Sun 19-May-13 11:27:15

Thanks for ur msg...Yes u r right ..I think this will come in time...Even my folks said not to worry about this as she will come out of it as she grows older..
It's a bit embarrassing though when she refuses to respond even for simple things like greetings :-( I am hoping she can come out of her shell soon

AcrylicPlexiglass Sun 19-May-13 11:45:08

I know what you mean! It's always a worry that others will think they are being rude, isn't it? But I think that people are mostly quite understanding that children this age can be shy at times. I think possibly the more formal rules about answering register etc at school might help too?

SummerRainIsADistantMemory Sun 19-May-13 11:48:21

Dd was selectively mute til she was 4/5.

She was incredibly talkative at home and would talk to other children, albeit quietly.

But she simply wouldn't talk to adults outside of family. She went through all of playschool hardly saying a single word to her teachers. She'd go to friends houses happily but simply wouldn't speak to the adults in the house.

She's gotten better since starting school and will respond if spoken to now but is still described as quiet in school, she's 8 now.

We never made much of an issue of it, encouraged her to speak but didn't force her to. She gradually gained confidence over the years and two weeks ago stood at the alter in a packed church for her communion and did her reading with no nerves or hesitation at all smile

Tultuli Mon 20-May-13 21:46:19

that's brilliant! and definitely encouraging for us to hear that...I am thinking of getting my DD involved in drama or music to get her more confident...I am hoping this may help :-)

SummerRainIsADistantMemory Mon 20-May-13 22:01:42

Gymnastics was good for dd as she got used to attention being on her but wasn't under pressure to speak iyswim?

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