Hi. Myself and my OH agreed to look after my OH's neice over the summer hols in 2012. Her English father (devorced from her Ugandan mother) had been told by our Neice and her older brother (22yr old with Ugandan Father) that she wasn't happy with the way her mum was bringing her up, and she wanted a rest. She is still with us now!
We both have never looked after children, but after the first six months we managed to move her out of a put-me-up in the living room and clear our office out into a hut in the garden.
Her new room originally housed both our clothes in a built-in wardrobe, but I took my clothes out to give her room in half of it, and my OH took a few essentials out but had to leave things like suits etc in there as we had nowhere to hang up anything in our room apart from a small wardrobe which we had bought for her to use in those first months in the living room.
She is doing the typical "keep out of my room" thing now. She talked to her father (who comes up to see her every few weeks), saying that how come she is not allowed to go in our room to get anything (?what things, I would like to know), but we are constantly going in hers interfering when she is not there.
I feel that because she won't put all her washing out when we ask, and because the room window need opening to be aired off to prevent OH's clothes in there smelling like a 13 year old girl's armpits - and for him to have access to her room for his clothes, then we have every right to pick up soiled knickers (too much info?, sorry..) off a new carpet (that skint us to buy a month before she moved in, for the new business that is now not happening any more because of the extra un-accounted for responibilities), and ask her to clear hair of the floor so it won't ruin the hoover.
We spent a lot of money on the room before she moved in, and there is already makeup on the walls, and torn wallpaper. OH was made redundant 2 years ago and I work a 3 day week to keep a mortgage going.
Only her father pays towards her keep and is homeless at the moment, living in a van next to his offices 40 miles away, as her mother won't pay him anything for her, as she feels she is the one who has been wronged.
I do have sympathy for her, but her mum has never once got in touch with us to ask why and how it has all happened, and is very well off with a successful business empire. My Neice won't go back home now - she has made it clear, and had, we thought settled in well (until the latest news), and we are starting to get used to all her really nice friends. She is a lovely girl herself, and we didn't know she felt this way.
Does anyone have any advice to us "newbies", please.
I also apologise for the "war and peace" above, but couldn'tfind a way to shorten it, sorry
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Private "fostering" of teen neice by inexperienced couple - HELP!!!
12 replies
GlenysE · 18/05/2013 16:12
OP posts:
Maryz ·
18/05/2013 16:23
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