Talk

Advanced search

Wont be put down - please help!

(10 Posts)
ClazzaW Sun 12-May-13 13:57:34

I have a 11 week old little girl who up until 2 weeks or so ago was a very happy baby. In the past two weeks she has turned into a monster who basically grumbles all day with frequent screaming. There appears to be a couple of reasons for this but the main one is that she refuses to be put down! She's reasonably content to be held on my lap or carried about the house (but only by hand, a sling causes a meltdown) but the moment you put her down on her play mat, floor or in her chair she instantly starts screaming and this continues until you pick her up again. I have tried leaving her for a while to see if she basically gets over it but she will just keep going until her situation changes. I've tried distracting her with toys but she gets bored very quickly and realises in minutes she is not where she wants to be. Its driving me insane as I am at home during the day on my own and don't have family I can call upon to take a turn. I can't leave her to do anything without her shouting the house down, I can't remember the last time I ate during the day! I am also really concerned as it means she is not getting any time to explore her surroundings on her own, learn to bat toys, roll around etc. Does anyone have any suggestions? To my knowledge we haven't done anything to 'cause' this and on every other issue (regular bedtime for example) shes been really receptive to routines or behaviour we have tried to encourage.
Has anyone experienced this and has advice - getting pretty desperate!
Thanks

FlatsInDagenham Sun 12-May-13 14:07:27

What kind of sling are you using? Not all slings are comfortable / suitable for every baby. I would suggest you find your nearest sling library and try out lots of different types as there will be one she will like.

I really sympathise with your situation; dd2 was just like this. I'm afraid it didn't stop until she learned to crawl. As I say, we coped with slings - a stretcht wrap when she was still small and a ring sling since she's been able to hold her head properly.

butterfliesinmytummy Sun 12-May-13 14:12:42

This is pretty normal as far as i can remember, pick her up. She probably just realised that you are mum and that you are not holding her all the time. A good friend of mine has a 10 week old (her 4th child) and she carries him everywhere, he's the same. You can eat one handed with her on your lap - do you have a dp who can hold her while you shower? At 11 weeks old, i doubt she should be trying to explore things on her own. Keep trying the sling but hold her in your arms if she doesnt like it. It won't last forever....

Stacks Mon 13-May-13 21:34:05

My DS is exactly like this, and has been since very young (20 weeks now). We're looking into silent reflux as the cause, though some of it is developmental - they're becoming more aware of their environment and getting bored easier. How is your DD sleeping, dies she nap ok in the day and sleep well at night?

I can't give much advice apart from getting out to groups (or even to the shops etc) as much as you can. For my DS the change of scenery and new faces keep him distracted and well behaved until we get home again. He's getting a little better now, but still requires constant entertainment.

emstats Mon 13-May-13 22:37:58

Have you got a swing? I know not all babies like them but mine (12 weeks) adores hers, I think she just likes the movement, when it ran out of batteries she was much the same (wouldn't be put down) but when she got back in it with new batteries and merrily swinging away she seemed genuinely pleased! (PS, mine is one where she can easily see me and everything that's going on in the room, I think she likes that part oof it too!)

Carolra Mon 13-May-13 22:43:42

Mine was the same at that age,wrap sling worked for us. And DH would make me a couple of rounds of sandwiches before he left for work so I could eat. It will get easier, probably quite quickly, try not to panic even though it can feel frustrating.

Will your dd let anyone else hold her? Mine didn't really, but sometime ax she'd be ok with someone else and I'd walk around the block for a little freedom!!

SanneSannes Tue 14-May-13 10:19:32

My DC2 was the same until she was 3 months old and she suddenly was happy to be put down for naps, on play mat etc. i was in shock initially as DC1 was never like that, but then decided that if that is what DC2 needs i just need to go with it ...sling and finger food for me was a life saver.

PrincessAndTheParper Tue 14-May-13 11:40:24

I think this is a phase that a lot of little ones go through - my DD had it at 4 months (she was premature and did everything later).

One thing to keep an eye on is sometime it is not to do with being put down but not being upright, as they can't yet sit alone. If babies have gas in their tummies, as most do, sitting upright (like when you are holding her) allows the stomach to become round and accommodating, whereas lying down stretches the stomach into a long, oval shape and reduces space, making the gas painful. As an osteopath I see this all the time with 0-3 month old babies and most of the time mums think the babies either hate their prams or are clingy when in fact they just need a whacking good burp.

Lots of mums stop burping the baby once they hear a burp sound after a milk feed but some babies (like mine) need two or three good burps to get it all out. With mine, the burps kept coming even a couple of hours after a feed. I also found putting her slightly propped up when she was gassy helped, although they should not be propped up too high or for too long during the day. Is she ok when she is in a bouncer chair or when you prop her up with cushions and play with her?

If it is definitely not wind then I agree with the advice above - pick her up. Cuddle her and carry her around all day if you have to. It is just a phase and if she really is so distressed to be put down then she needs to be near you and to smell that you are there.

Final suggestion is a book called The Wonder Weeks, which explains all these funny, fussy phases that babies go through in their first 18 months and really helped me to realise that it is normal and babies are just clingy and unhappy sometimes but it doesn't mean she's not learning and developing perfectly and that she isn't a perfect, happy little girl.

Good luck!

PrincessAndTheParper Tue 14-May-13 12:11:40

I think this is a phase that a lot of little ones go through - my DD had it at 4 months (she was premature and did everything later).

One thing to keep an eye on is sometimes it is not to do with being put down but wanting to be upright, as they can't yet sit alone. If babies have gas in their tummies, as most do, sitting upright (like when you are holding her) allows the stomach to become round and accommodating, whereas lying down stretches the stomach into a long, oval shape and reduces space, making the gas painful. As an osteopath I see this all the time with 0-3 month old babies and most of the time mums think the babies either hate their prams or are clingy when in fact they just need a whacking good burp.

Lots of mums stop burping the baby once they hear a burp sound after a milk feed but some babies (like mine) need two or three good burps to get it all out. With my DD, the burps kept coming even a couple of hours after a feed. I also found putting her slightly propped up when she was gassy helped, although they should not be propped up too high or for too long during the day. Is she ok when she is in a bouncer chair or when you prop her up with cushions and play with her?

If it is definitely not wind then I agree with the advice above - pick her up. Cuddle her and carry her around all day if you have to. It is just a phase and if she really is so distressed to be put down then she needs to be near you and to smell that you are there, during what is probably normal but nevertheless an unsettling developmental stage.

Final suggestion is a book called The Wonder Weeks, which explains all these funny, fussy phases that babies go through in their first 18 months and really helped me to realise that it is normal and babies are just clingy and unhappy sometimes but it doesn't mean she's not learning and developing perfectly and that she isn't a perfect, happy little girl.

Good luck!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 15-May-13 19:10:42

Don't worry about her development either, they learn lots by being held and watching what you do one handed.

My dd even learned to eat. She wouldn't go in the highchair and so sat on my lap while I ate, one day she just picked up some of my lunch and startied eating too smile

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if im repeating but my dd would once go in the sling if she was upright, the lying down position was a big no-no.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now