My DS was a very easy toddler, charming, non-snatchy, chatty and well behaved. He never had a tantrum until well over 18 months.
I imagine things got a bit dificult for him once I had his baby sister when he was two years and two months. She was a fairly velcro baby and still likes to be in my arms most of the time. She doesn't sleep very well so I am tired a lot.
These days he seems to want to contradict everything I say. Any daft little thing, I'll say 'it's sunny today' he says 'no it's not' or about what noise different letters make, anything. Or I will see him playing with the stairgate and ask him not to and he'll say "I'm not".
Also if something frustrates him, if he's trying to do something and he can't he just screams at the top of his voice either non-verbally or "I can't do it" and he screams if his little sister touches anything he plays with.
He seems totally uninterested in her and ony notices her if she's in his way. I want them to have a good relationship and she adores him but he won't even touch her. I can say "she is really happy when you wave to her" and he may do so. Sometimes he'll bring her a cracker or something but he dislikes physical contact with her and with most people - not me and DH and close family but for example if a stranger tries to help him get on the bus he goes mental.
He's bright and chatty - he understands a lot and is really into finding out how things work - he loves watching factories and sciencey things on tv.
He panics easily. If we run for a bus or train he screams and goes spare. We say "what's the worst that could happen? We'd miss the bus and then wait for the next one" but it seems to bring out this primal fear in him.
He seems to be very easily distracted. He can dress himself but it will take half an hour of following him around asking him to take off his pyjamas and then handing him his pants over and over with lots of "I can't do it' on his part and lots of "I know you can do it, I've seen you do it before" or "I have faith in your abilities" on mine. More often than not I just dress and undress him because getting him to do it himself takes so bloody long. He'll pick up anything and find it fascinating but not stay with the job in hand. I know he is only three but it seems extreme this lack of focus and distractability.
If we try and talk to him about ways he could better deal with his emotions he will cut off and say "I don't want to have this conversation" or ignore us and talk about a totally different topic.
He has one friend at nursery who he chats to a lot (a girl) but he doesn't seem to get little boy play. He's not as interested in other children, seems oblivious to their existance fairly often but other times he will chat and play. He doesn't really like running around and pretending to shoot guns (good!) or being superheroes, he's more likely to want to water the garden or pretend to be an animal (at the moment he likes being a little mouse and talking in a high pitched voice about cheese) and I worry so much for him that he'll be the odd one out.
He currently does 12 hours a week in nursery split over 3 days, one day with my mum and the rest of the time he's with me (and his dad from 5pm and at the weekend). He is very loved and loving - I adore him but sometimes he winds me up so much.
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Behaviour/development
My 3 year old DS - is he fairly normal?
Bearcrumble · 10/05/2013 12:54
I might have you worng, but a couple of things you said - I wonder if your expectations of them/you are very high? All these books - I threw most of mine out when my children didn't seem to do quite what was suggested! It just stressed me out tbh reading all this stuff about how I should be dealing with them/stimulating them. Try not to put too much pressure on your self is all I can say. Your DS1 is still very young. My eldest still likes to talk in mouse voice sometimes now at 6 - its not a problem, he likes to be a bit babyish at times which doesn't bother me. At 3 I should say it was entirely normal.
Tho doesnt mean its not hugely annoying!!
Another thing to reassure you - neither my DSs had friends at pre-school. were just not interested (still at the 'parallel play' stage.) Both made female friends only in reception...DS1 is just starting to make friends withboys at nearly 7. Its got benefits, both are able to be quite gentle when playing, as well as being perfectly capable of rough and tumble.
TBH you really sound like you need a break...the tone of your post is very weary 
Perhaps time to pull in as much supprt as you can afford/manage.
Sleep. Just sleep. Have a bath. Get so you are clean and rested and you will feel much more in control :) when googirl was teething I cried into a random woman in Aldi I was so tired. You will feel so much more able to cope with a decent nap under your belt 
PMT has voiced my thoughts! I think you are expecting far too much. I had a very articulate DD1 and looking back I treated her in the same way as I treat my DD2 who is now 5. When DC are articulate early on, one tends to assume they've skills which they actually don't...or haven't honed yet.
He sounds lovely by the way. 
Regarding the girl friends...my DD2 has had a little boy who was her best friend in preschool for a year and then in reception for a while too...but he's now begun to play with other boys....he was always with my DD and her cohort of little girls....it's fine!
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