Suggestions re ds, 8, just wants to read all night and keeps putting his light back on!

[bramblina]

Ds is an avid reader, I'm so glad, but at night he gets between 15mins and an hour of reading in bed before lights out depending on what time he goes to bed, we like his light to be out about 8.30/9 (depends on how tired he is) and he can be exhausted but just wants to read on and on and on...

I'm delighted he loves reading, I praise him, encourage him, but after tucking him in he'll put his light back on and read some more. I find him, light out and tuck him in. And again. So we have removed his bulb, he'll find another way. We have removed priviledges, he waits then does it again the following week- BUT I don't really want to punish him for reading, I just want to encourage him to realise when he is so bloody tired that perhaps he shouldn't put his light back on AGAIN...! I also don't see the point in taking his bulb out- I reckon at 8 he should understand the resposibility....?

Any ideas?

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

Be grateful. I have a Ds who hates books.
But, I was like that. So I know that if you do this he will smuggle a torch under the bed clothes.

What you can do and was done to me at boarding school was to make me read for 1/2 hour quite a hard book, and then 1/2 hour with an easier book. And staying up later at weekends.

By quite a hard book I really mean it. It was tiring.

And you can tell him that you will come in to check. If he knows that you are doing that regularly, he will soon learn. Or you sit outside his room until he goes to sleep. It's about breaking the habit.

[stargirl1701]

I did this. I had torches hidden everywhere! I still do this when I get a new book I've been desperate to read. No advice, I'm afraid. No punishment my parents ever devised made me stop. I loved reading more than anything else so I had little incentive to stop.

Sorry.

[DameFanny]

I read by the light of the street light 15 yards away... Sorry, no helpful suggestions other than maybe a specific chapter book and he reads one chapter only after you've tucked him in?

[SavoyCabbage]

My dd is like this too. She has a timer that she has on for reading time and switches it the lights off when the time is up. On Friday and Saturday nights she is allowed to read as long as she likes.

I thinking depends in how tired he is. If he doesn't need the sleep then that's fine but if he does then its the same as playing on a DS. half the night.

[ChippingInLovesSunshine]

LOL - you can't win with kids I swear!

I used to read under the covers with my torch, then when that was confiscated, but whatever light I could get coming through the window - which was not much.

I'm a good few years older than your DS and still have little self control when it comes to reading in bed

[PoppyWearer]

Oh, I used to do this too!

[Grockle]

My DS(7) is like this too, as was I. It is a lovely problem to have & feels so wrong to have to threaten to take books away.

[mamapants]

I used to do this too. Although I went to bed far earlier than 9 so probably wasn't actually that late in reality by the time I finished.
Is 9 late for an 8 year old to go to bed? I only have a baby so don't know seems late to me. Is he overtired already and then struggling to get to sleep. Only a suggestion have no idea about bedtimes for more grown up children.

[amistillsexy]

I have two who do this, and another one who would if he could read long enough books!
It's horrible to see them so tired in the mornings, and they can keep themselves awake the next night, even though they're dropping throughout the day.
Even earlier nights don't work. They just seem to stay awake for even longer if I send them to bed early!

Sorry, OP, I'm no use whatsoever

[bramblina]

Oh dear do you think I should just give up?!

I really don't want to restrict his reading, it seems so unfair to him.

I've just chatted to dh about this. Thank you all for your help....we are going to just let him get on with it. I'll tuck him in and he can just read on and put his light out himself. We don't know what else to do!!!

Thanks, folks

[sashh]

Rather than take the light, take the book with you.

Agree chapters rather than time. It is terrible to have to put a book down with only 2 pages of a chapter to go.

Although I hate the idea of destroying books tear it into sections, let him have a chapter each night.

Yes I used a torch under the duvet.

At 2 am this morning I decided to switch my Kindle of as I was falling asleep into it.

[seeker]

Interesting. Would you feel th same way if he was watching TV when you had told him not to?

Books really aren't much different- he is doing something he has rpeatedly been told not to!

[SofiaAmes]

Maybe he just doesn't need the sleep. My two dc's are on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of sleep needs. My ds needs 11-12 hours a night. My dd is good with 8 - 9. She is 10 and I quite often will let her stay up late to read. My rule of thumb is if she wakes up without an alarm in time for school.

[VanitasVanitatum]

I used to do this. I wouldn't say leave him to it, I think you'll have to take his book, maybe don't store any in his room. Now I'm an adult who can leave my light on I still struggle to turn it off at a sensible time!! If you're so into a book you will tire yourself out to read it you're not making a sensible choice.

Lack of sleep can be physically damaging to brain development. He will absolutely exhaust himself.

[SavoyCabbage]

That's what I think Seeker. My dd comes home, takes her shoes off, goes in her room, shuts the door and that's the last we see of her. She wants to read all weekend and even in the back of the car. I know I wouldn't let her be on a computer like that for hours. When she went on school camp I wouldn't let her take a book as I knew she wouldn't mess about with her friends which is a part of the experience.

[DeWe]

I have the same with dd2 now aged 9yo.
She gets: "finish the end of the chapter" warning-with us checking how long till the next chapter, and what the next chapter is. If she hasn't finished in reasonable time we give her a warning, then come back in 5 minutes, and if the light isn't out/she's stopped reading the book is taken.

I did at one point remove all the books from her room except the one she's reading, so she now knows I will do that if necessary which has helped.

[DeepRedBetty]

I've got another obsessive reader. I can see if her lights are on without her knowing, and if she's still reading at my bedtime the book gets taken away.

[DeepRedBetty]

sorry posted too soon, I know if she hears me coming up she'll turn the light out and pretend to be asleep, then turn it back on when she thinks I'm settled. I've caught her out a couple of times when I went to the loo... so now I pop outside and look up at her window for evidence! Don't need to do it often though.

[Seb101]

It's a behaviour issue IMO. Doesn't matter that reading is great, if you've said no, that's it! Just cause he's doing something 'good' doesn't mean you should excuse him disobeying you. It's likely he knows your not serious about stopping this behaviour. Like someone else said, if he was watching tv all night, you'd stop it. I'd discipline him the way you would for any other unwanted behaviour. It won't stop his love of reading I'm sure.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Take the bulbs out.

[colditz]

Nobody ever managed to stop me reading unless they took the books. Reading is an important skill, but so is exercise, and IT, an communication via media, and we don't let kids do that at bedtime.

[HousewifeFromHeaven]

My 11 year old ds is the same!!

I tried hiding all the reading lights, and he'd use the light from his alarm clock instead.

I have now given up. There's worse things to be doing IMO.

[HousewifeFromHeaven]

I was the same as well

[WandaDoff]

Nobody ever managed to stop me, I still fall asleep reading my kindle most nights.

[haggisaggis]

If it was a games console you would just remove it - so do the same with the book. Read until prescribed time then take it (them) away.