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3 year old likes/prefers to poo in his nappy!

(7 Posts)
onceipopicantstop Thu 09-May-13 12:46:50

Just after some advice! 3y3m ds potty trained last summer. Took to it quite quickly although pooing on the toilet took a bit longer. He's now dry by day although needs ALOT of reminding - but I've assumed this is normal? He is perfectly capable of pooing on the toilet and will do so during the day. However if he has a nappy on (wears one overnight) he won't ask to go to the toilet but will go in his nappy. Its all controlled - he either goes immediately after putting him to bed - despite being asked repeatedly if he needs to go - or first thing before we've taken his nappy off.
He gets lots of praise for pooing on the toilet, and we've just introduced a reward chart to encourage him NOT to go in the nappy - hasn't managed this once yet! I know its probably not a big deal but I'm finding it really frustrating as I know he could do it if he tried! He's just not interested and not the slightest bit bothered about being in a dirty nappy. I'm afraid I'm getting cross with him now which probably isn't the best strategy!
Last night we put him in pull ups for the first time as a friend had them and he seemed quite keen on having "big boy nappies". I told him he mustn't poo in them as they would leak (not true I know but hoped this might be a good incentive). This morning I was a bit slow getting the nappy off first thing and he hid behind the sofa and went in the pull ups - and then proudly annunced he'd been! (I do wonder whether part of it is seeing the reaction he gets as I am not impressed usually!). I told him he would have to go back into "baby" nappies as he had pooed which he was quite upset about - and I felt a bit mean but I'm just trying to motivate him to change things!
Sorry really long post but would be very grateful for advice.

MummyPigsFatTummy Thu 09-May-13 14:14:18

Someone may be along soon with different/better advice but I would say ignore it. Some of what you say suggests it could be attention-seeking, even of the negative sort, but even if it isn't, I think if you just let him carry on without comment, he will reach a point when he is ready to use the loo, as he is clearly capable of doing.

Our DD had long-standing constipation issues and for a fair while after being potty-trained would only poo in a nappy. She would ask for one, poo, and then we would change her. One day she decided to go in the potty and hasn't looked back. She was probably just 3 or nearly 3 when she did that. We had been told by the doctor to not worry about it because the fact she pooed at all was the important thing.

I realise your situation is very different but I do wonder if the solution is the same. Relax, ditch the reward charts for a while, let him get on with it and at some point he will get tired of nappies.

MummyPigsFatTummy Thu 09-May-13 14:17:21

Also, is he basically dry at night? If so, you could try letting him sleep in pants (with a waterproof undersheet). From what you are saying, he might not poo in pants but would wait and ask for a nappy during the day to poo in? That might be a step towards moving away from nappies altogether.

Pancakeflipper Thu 09-May-13 14:19:42

My Ds2 was just over 4 when he stopped poo'ing in a nappy. We would get the odd poo straight in the loo but it was rare.

We tried various things.
The thing that worked was him asking me to put a nappy on him when he wanted to poo. Then he would sit on the loo wearing the nappy and poo in the nappy. After a few weeks he finally dared to just poo in the loo and
then he gradually decided to not use the nappy.

I know it really is frustrating but he will do it. Just when he is ready.

onceipopicantstop Thu 09-May-13 15:23:02

Thanks for your replies. As you say ignoring it is probably best - although easier said than done!He's just come home from nursery and told me he wants to wear big boy nappies and won't poo in them! So has obviously been thinking about this morning.
Mummypig he isn't dry in the morning although I think he tends to do a wee when he wakes rather than weeing overnight if that makes sense. So I have been wondering about doing away with the nappies altogether but am a bit nervous about the potential mess!!

Tapvick Thu 09-May-13 16:52:33

I was in a similar situation to you. I deduced that my son would not go on the loo as it took too long ( it was much easier to do it in a nappy and have me clear it up) so each time he pooed I would sit him on the toilet, undo the nappy ( so that the contents go down the loo) and wipe bottom as if they have gone on the loo. I only had to do this two or three times as he realised that if he went to the loo himself it was marginally quicker.

onceipopicantstop Thu 09-May-13 18:20:32

Good idea Tapvick will give it a try

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