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"I don't like boys' things, mummy": gender stereotyping sweeps the Inferiority Complex

(88 Posts)
motherinferior Fri 19-May-06 13:20:51

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHno. The pink socks (see rants passim) are bad enough. I have yielded on vile plastic dolls. I am prepared to yield on Bratz. The general tidal wave of girliness that suffuses the Inferiority Complex has some quite enjoyable (if pink and sparkly) aspects. But when my not quite three year old gestures to the "boys' toys" ands says she "doesn't like those" I start to get worried. I see her refusing to study physics, and just looking for a Big Strong Man to take care of her and not worry her pretty little head about things and oh dear oh dear oh dear did Emily Wilding Davison die in vain, eh?

Eh???

Reassure me, this too shall pass...or will it?

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:26:47

dd2's ambition is to get married (she is 3.5)

motherinferior Fri 19-May-06 13:27:36

I shall try and use that as a consolation.

I do quite seriously find it a bit worrying.

Twiglett Fri 19-May-06 13:27:49

yeah 'cos you should really aspire to your house being full of transformers and power rangers shouldn't you?

<guffaw>

JackieNo Fri 19-May-06 13:27:52

Oh dear - we have that too - when she was, maybe, 4.5, she started coming out with lines like 'I don't want that magazine - it's got a robot on it. Robots are for boys'. Cue much panicky reassurance that no, no, no, not at all, boys and girls could like robots. But it didnt' work

Auntymandy Fri 19-May-06 13:28:46

get her a brother!

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:29:04

dd1 (6.5) is growing out of it

Kathy1972 Fri 19-May-06 13:29:20

Depends what the boys' toys are - if she's talking about Power Rangers and WWF figures and so on, then it's just good taste. On the other hand, if it's Scalectrix she doesn't like, I'd be worried.

megglevache Fri 19-May-06 13:30:44

Message withdrawn

BettySpaghetti Fri 19-May-06 13:31:28

Have you had the refusing to wear anything blue "because its for boys" thing yet?

GeorginaA Fri 19-May-06 13:31:51

Keep telling yourself "it's just a phase".

I've read recently (can't remember for the life of me where) that this is the age where they really become aware of the differences in genders ... and then accentuate them to make sense of them. Hence my 5 year old ds1 making pronouncements on "purple is a girl's colour" (it is, since when?!), suddenly going overboard on power rangers and eschewing the more "girly" toys in our collection (play food, toy pushchair, etc).

I do find it quite amusing that he's just as interested in dolls (sorry ... ACTION FIGURES) but they have to be "boy acceptable" dol...erm... action figures.

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:31:51

dd2 refuses to wear trousers

TheFlameWhoWasAfraidOfTheDark Fri 19-May-06 13:31:57

DD tells me that she can't wear blue socks because they are boys, but then puts on the spiderman top that she insisted I buy for her

I'm convinced it will pass - I was all dolls until about 6/7 then suddenly discovered cars!

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:32:28

mi do ponies

its great

GDG Fri 19-May-06 13:33:02

I don't think it means anything MI, don't worry!

I liked to have my hair put in plaits so I could run down the lounge pretending to be the girl in Little House on the Prairie, I had Girls World etc and now I still love girlie shopping, make up, manicures etc. I did A levels in physics, biology, maths and a degree in Physiology and Pharmacology. No 'girlie' subjects for me!

Twiglett Fri 19-May-06 13:33:19

DD (2) wears DS's boxer shorts .. and tantrums when she doesn't

GeorginaA Fri 19-May-06 13:33:57

Oh that reminds me - in desperation in the pink aisle I've ended up buying a Barbie for a girl in ds1's class whose party he's going to tomorrow. I confess - I was in the pink aisle, I was never a girly girl and I have sons. I panicked.

Will I be shunned from polite society by the mother?

GDG Fri 19-May-06 13:34:06

No. Do not do ponies!!!

megglevache Fri 19-May-06 13:35:55

Message withdrawn

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:35:55

rather the stable than the town centre

Frenchgirl Fri 19-May-06 13:36:00

it will get worse before it gets better MI, that's what happened with dd, she is now a well balanced feminine girl who wears mostly jeans and t-shirts and is growing out of pink

yes!!!!!!

Blu Fri 19-May-06 13:36:38

I thnk you can:
a) Breathe a big sigh of relief and pour yourself a smug congratulatory white wine (all smug journos sip that when contemplating child-rearing issues, don't they?) that your child is not engaged in fantasy massacres with a light sabre, like the irresponsible war-mongering-pandering parents of boys
b)Throw yourself under the Queen's racehorse at the next Ascot meeting, for your personal role in the backlash against feminsim
c) Wait until she really really wants to go on the climbing frame and then say 'oh no, that's for boys' as a way to teach her experientially that stereotyping is pants. Note: this could backfire very badly.
d) Lecture her regularly about what girls can do and buy her a very expensive woode knights castel, amde in france and requiring lads of expensive plastic knights. This will waste a lot of your money, and drive her evermore pinkwards.
e) Sip some more white wine, and then some more, until you can't see the tide of pink and Bratz
f) Plan to get her to do loads of domestic chores when she wants to play / go out with freinds as a teenager, so that she undergoes her own gender-role revolution and decides to be a physicist rather than do the washing up.

Enid Fri 19-May-06 13:36:40



love my powerpuff girls

TheFlameWhoWasAfraidOfTheDark Fri 19-May-06 13:38:00

I wear DH's boxers .

Ponies I try to avoid, but DD loves my little pony, and barbie (tbh she really loves my friend's older ones' Bratz, but a 3 yr old is not having Bratz!). Oh, and the forementioned "Piderman"

Wordsmith Fri 19-May-06 13:38:05

Boys and girls have an almost pathological aversion to each other/each other's gender toys at about 5 or 6. My DS's teacher said at a recent parents' evening that the only problem she had with him was when it came to circle time and they did boy/girl/boy/girl sitting next to each tother, he refused to go and sit next to a girl and would only comply under duress, if one came to sit next to him!!

And as for daring to mention that his Power Rangers are dolls.... well, he'd leave home if I did that!

No way have we encouraged this. Think it's just a phase, hopefully.

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