Advanced search

2 year old insult thread!

(46 Posts)
Whatalotofpiffle Mon 06-May-13 02:29:32

My lovely little dd (2.4) has decided over the last couple if days that she much refers daddy, and I have been peppered with gems such as:

Sit in the kitchen mummy
Daddy will tell you off mummy, like you no!
Mummy stay here, come no
Like mummy, no!
Mummy eat num num with me. No
Mummy face disgusting

Ha ha!

I know she is only 2 but where has my delicious, cuddly baby who could not be without me gone!?!

MoonlightandRoses Sat 18-May-13 22:48:26

Haven't got any that I'm prepared to admit to but marking place in hopes of more from everyone else!

Pascha Fri 17-May-13 15:23:04

Having been righteously told off yesterday for climbing up and standing on the arm of the sofa before throwing himself on top of me and DS2 (all the while saying 'Sit Down! Monkey!' in a passable impression of me), we had tears and 'sorry mummy, sorry DS2' and then 'naughty naughty naughty chair!' at the sofa grin

Ragusa Fri 17-May-13 15:18:53

What's dat smell mummy? Dat Mummy's bum?? (It was not, I tell you).

Favorite joke/ insult from 2.5 yo DS.

VodkaRevelation Thu 16-May-13 16:46:11

My 20 mo likes to call DH 'Dirty Daddy' which I love!

One morning when I did, admittedly, look horrendous (mad hair, smudged eye make up, general hung over look) whilst sitting next to me on the sofa he pointed right at face a laughed.

LeonardoAcropolis Thu 16-May-13 16:28:18

To DH "I'm going to chop you up, put you in bin and get another daddy".

To both of us "Rubbish man" or "Rubbish lady", said with real venom.

matana Thu 16-May-13 14:57:58

DS (2.5): "Mummy stop singing please. My not like it."

And the other day my DH has cause to go into DS's room and tell him to settle down and go to sleep. As soon as he shut the door: "Oh, for goodness sake!"

MiaSparrow Thu 16-May-13 08:30:21

DP to DD (2.3): You're looking pretty!
DD: Yes, I am pretty.
DP: And Mummy's pretty too isn't she?
DD: No, she's just pooey.


Emmaw9 Fri 10-May-13 19:31:53

Thank you for making my day!
I have just laughed my head off at these!
Nothing to contribute as DS is only 5 months but thank you for the giggle!

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Thu 09-May-13 13:05:58

I love these! Making me smile smile

kipplin Thu 09-May-13 12:31:49

3yo DD
"daddy, I love you to the moon and back"

" mummy, I just love you to the fence and back" !!!!

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Thu 09-May-13 00:48:21

I was telling DS3 to sit down nicely on the bus this afternoon. Whilst I was mid sentence, he put his fingers on my lips and frowned at me and said "shhhhhhhhh"...

BrigitBigKnickers Thu 09-May-13 00:09:40

When DD2 was very little she was told off by her ballet teacher.

"My mummy will throw you in the bin!" She threatened menacingly.shock

zipzap Thu 09-May-13 00:04:33

When he was about 3-4, ds2 delivered what he thought was the ultimate rtelling off to me when I'd done something he didn't like (make him get into the bath or make him get out of the bath if memory serves correctly - he hates getting in but once in, he hates getting out again and would happily sit there for hours)

Him - 'Mummy, I'm not going to get married to you now you're being horrible to me'

me - 'Oh well, never mind grin'

Delayingtactic Thu 09-May-13 00:00:26

DS pointed to my admittedly very hairy legs and went 'eww'.

He's also started going 'no shhh' with a finger to his lips like an angry librarian which cracks me up everytime.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Wed 08-May-13 23:59:15

DD is 21mo now so limited speech but I can sense her dissapointment in me at times. I get told "Not like da" <shakes her head> = can be used to express disgust at anything from me picking up her doll to daring to open a pack of raisins for her to 'help'
She is very good at sighing like a teenager already hmm
She is also adamant that my mole on my face is poo and frequently points to it shouting 'POOO MUMMY!' as loud as possible.

Goldenbear Wed 08-May-13 23:52:49

My DS is nearly 6 and will call DD who is 25 months, 'young lady' if she wrecks his playmobil, Lego set ups. She can't say 'young' but uses 'lady' to refer to me when she is cross with me or a situation. She also says 'God's sake' and will regularly say, 'God sake lady' over anything she doesn't approve of - it is very funny!

sh77 Wed 08-May-13 22:57:09

" I poo on mama face" ds 2.1
I have never laughed so much.

eversomuch Wed 08-May-13 21:24:49

Tonight, when DH was trying to put her to bed: "Go back work, Papa. Jeans on, shirt on, coat on. Go back work!"

EverybodysStressyEyed Wed 08-May-13 21:03:37

"I don't want to see your face" crosses arms and turns back

I put a new top on "mummy you look like a fat lady"

if she's cross she'll call you a poo poo head (thanks ds!)

tinkerbellvspredator Wed 08-May-13 20:58:18

"Don't talk to me like that mummy. Humph" crosses arms and does the face

mixedmamameansbusiness Wed 08-May-13 20:44:44

Is it unreasonable that I opened this thread thinking we would be insulting our 2 year old for the day that mine gave me today???

<<bows head in shame and leaves>>

Prozacbear Tue 07-May-13 16:11:35

This morning: "Where Nana? I want Nana. Not you, mummy. Go away. Want Nana ... Nana's house ... Nana's car ... Nana got good car. You not got a car, mummy. Bad mummy."

Good to know he's a material boy.

BeaWheesht Mon 06-May-13 22:30:21

Oh and not an insult as such but I gave in to the extra cuddle demand at bedtime tonight because her voice sounded all wobbly and she sees genuinely upset and when I picked her up she did the most sly grin ever and when I asked why she was smiling she said 'cos mummy I know you no be cross wif me when I do smiling with cuddles'

She was right though .

Tigresswoods Mon 06-May-13 22:26:03

DS is 3 so not 2 as the thread suggests... However he was "not impressed with you,Daddy"

BeaWheesht Mon 06-May-13 22:24:58

Oh and when she says love you at bedtime she whispers under her breath 'even though you smell of poo' and giggles manically (thanks ds)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now