I'm a first time mum and dd is now 13 weeks old. I'm struggling with how upset she gets when her surroundings and the pattern of the day changes. I haven't tried to follow any particular routine (like those in baby whisperer, Gina ford etc) but she seems to have naturally got a pattern of feeding (she's fully breastfed), then awake and happy for about 1.5 hours, then tired and needing to nap, then sleeping. It takes about 20 mins of rocking or a pram or car ride to get her to sleep for about 45mins to an hour. As long as we're having a quiet day this pattern is fine and she's happy. But if anything changes she gets really upset.
So if she naps in the car and wakes up in a new place, especially if it's noisy or there are lots of people, she gets very upset and won't feed properly and cries. She's hungry but only has a few sucks then pulls away crying and won't go back on. She won't play happily or settle at all and won't sleep. So I can spend several hours intermittently trying to feed and then get her to sleep but she is just so unhappy.
It ends up that I'm stressed (which I'm sure she picks up on) and she's crying and I feel bad for inflicting the screams on whoever we're visiting, or giving up trying to get the shopping done, and bad that she's unhappy and distressed.
I don't know if I should give up going out, in order to keep her happy, and hope that at some point she'll be ok with going out as she gets more secure. Or if I should keep going so that she'll learn to cope. I'm not sure I could stay home all the time! But I don't want to make things worse by keep going out, reinforcing her upset every time.
Any ideas and thoughts welcome! Especially if anyone's faced a similar situation, I'd love to know how things worked out. Thanks.
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Behaviour/development
13 week old upset by changes
3 replies
em0000 · 05/05/2013 10:23
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