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18 month old scratching and hitting me for fun.

(12 Posts)
imaluckylady Fri 03-May-13 19:30:23

My 18 month old ds is frequently hitting, grabbing and scratching me and finds it really funny. I'm feeling increasingly frustrated by it. I just am not sure how best to handle it. My approach has to be consistently, firmly saying no and putting him down. I keep a calm voice and try not to give any reaction beyond that when he does it because I think pulling a pained expression or raising my voice will probably make it even funnier for him. He laughs while he does it and finds me saying 'no' funny too. If I put him down or walk away from him, he seems to think it's a game and he runs after me giggling.
Any tips? I realise it may just be a phase but it concerns me - I really don't want him doing this to other children. I know he has a couple of times at his childminders. The last couple of days it's really escalated. Help!

quoteunquote Fri 03-May-13 20:13:26

Massive sad face, firm no, put him down, go and do something else.

if he does it to another child, No, followed by removing him from the situation,

he will soon realise he losses interaction and play, when he does it.

imaluckylady Fri 03-May-13 20:38:51

Thanks for your advice - I really appreciate it. What do you think I should do when he follows me when I leave him to go and do something else? At the moment, he seems to think this is a really fun game .....

omri Sun 05-May-13 08:42:16

You could be writing about my ds 22 months. Watching this thread with interest and tips. Will persevere with the firm no, big sad face and walk away ( at the moment that makes him give me a big hug then scratch my face and pull my hair!!)

roz1982 Mon 06-May-13 19:07:41

Hi my 18 month old does this, I mostly do the same thing, firm no, put him away from me etc. If he comes after you can you just ignore him maybe and get on woth what you are doing then distract with something else?

I have a pet cat and have felt it quiet important that DS is kind and gentle to the cat and I use the same words and encouragement when trying to get him to be nice to the cat (and other amimals) as with people iyswim? I say 'ahh, gently with dolly' and then praise him for stroking her nicely - when he comes over to me (looking as if he might be a terror!) I say 'ahh, gently with mama' etc. it seems to work most of the time but not always. he tends to hit/scratch more when he is tired or not getting own way, so sometimes it turns into a bit of a tantrum. Then when Its over i might then say 'are you going to be nice now?'


Viviennemary Mon 06-May-13 19:13:04

Try a very very stern voice and put you finger in a point and say no. And then put child down and leave room. If it has got as far as hitting and scratching the message isn't getting through. I think a cross face would be better than a sad one.

imaluckylady Thu 09-May-13 20:20:08

Thanks for your re

imaluckylady Thu 09-May-13 20:24:42

Thanks for your replies everyone. I think I must think I am doing all the right things - firm no, not interacting, disengaging from the activity, etc, but in fact am. Hmmmmmm. Finding it tricky and a bit unfathomable, but it must be how I'm res

imaluckylady Thu 09-May-13 20:25:52

Grrrrrrrrr. iPhones. "Must be how I'm responding " is what I meant to post!

CreatureRetorts Thu 09-May-13 20:28:02

I find telling dd and showing her how to gently really works well. So I stroke my face with her hand while saying "gently" several times
Then if she grabs or hits, I tell her gently and she switches to stroking. At which point I praise and laugh so she does more gentle stroking. Works a treat. She's 17 months.

imaluckylady Thu 09-May-13 20:34:31

Right, I'm going to try stroking. He is good with animals and other children and is gentle with them - I always say 'gently...ahhhhhh' when he's with dogs/cats and he responds very well.. Same with children. I have spoken to his childminder about how he's doing with the other Holstein she looks after and she says he's very rarely done anything there.

imaluckylady Thu 09-May-13 20:35:04

Holstein?? Children!

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