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DD getting scratched at preschool all the time - advice please

(3 Posts)
Snowflakepie Mon 29-Apr-13 15:51:46

DD is 3.4. She has been at preschool 2 mornings a week since September and loves it, and has increased to 5 sessions now she has funding since Easter. However the last 3 Mondays she has come home with scratches all over her face, today has been the worst as they are across her nose and by her eye and very obviously bled quite a lot. Preschool have apologised and always made a point of speaking to me about it. There is one boy who had recently got a baby sister and he is lashing out at the others, not just DD. Preschool are trying to help him which I do think is important but honestly, how long do I let this go on? It just seems so unfair on DD and the other girl who seems to get it all the time too. Apparently he really likes DD and they play nicely, but then he will suddenly snatch a toy, she grabs it back and he lashes out. I have asked if DD does anything to provoke it that I can try and explain about not doing, but they say there isn't anything. DD will tell me what has happened and I have asked her if she likes playing with this boy, and she says no because he scratches. So other than telling her to stay away from him I'm not sure what else to do. I hate that she keeps getting hurt and don't want her to either be put off preschool or to start fighting back. At the moment she doesn't retaliate but I can well imagine she might.

If anyone has any experience of this or any suggestions I would love to know! Thank you.

LittleMissLucy Tue 30-Apr-13 04:17:34

I had this with my DS when he was also 3 and a bit. There was a boy scratching him, kicking him and pinching him. He left his marks in less obvious places - a pinched earlobe or an under-arm, a scratch along the leg. It was extremely upsetting. The school had a policy after 3 separate incidents the mother was called and asked to take her son out of the class. He did this with other children the year before and it seems was often taken home. Eventually he left and I wasn't sure if he'd been expelled or if the mother chose another place for him. But I was very relieved he had gone. My DS never retaliated either, he didn't know what to do. Its only now that he's older that if this kind of thing happened, I'd be marching in / calling up and getting them to sort it asap. Fortunately this hasn't been necessary.

Fantail Tue 30-Apr-13 04:54:47

Slightly different age group, but I have recently been dealing with a similar issue with my daughter and her day care. DD is 2.

She has on now 3 separate occasions been bitten. Same child (day care keep it anonymous, but DD has told me when asked), but apparently across the group there are a couple of culprits. I think that it is important to acknowledge that at 2 biting is reasonably common for some children, whereas I think that by 3 1/2 the level of understanding is different.

Anyway, her key-worker has always talked to me about it either by phone or when picking her up and they have recently sent out a email to all parents in the class with their action plan.

It includes:
- Put children’s safety first and provide first aid as well as comfort and advice to any child who is bitten.

- Provide appropriate experiences for the x children to help prevent biting (such as open ended activities, multiples of popular toys, outside play to provide more space etc.)

- Give parents strategies and ideas that are being used at the centre to change the biting behaviour and the reasoning behind these.

- Keep the child’s name that is doing the biting confidential. This avoids labeling and unnecessary confrontations that do not help the learning process.

- Put a fourth teacher in the x room temporarily to support the teaching team and children with this learning.

- Seek further support through outside agencies to support us further.

Also, with regards to scratching, we have always been asked to ensure that our child's nails are well trimmed to stop scratching, which can often be accidental.

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