changing from cot to bed - HELP!!!

[mabel1973]

We are expecting our 2nd child in september, so as we need the cot have decided to try and make the change from cot to bed before the baby arrives, so it's not too much of an upheavel for DS in one go.
We took the side off his cotbed on sunday night (thought we'd do it in stages rather put him in a big bed straight away) and after lots of tears he eventually went to sleep and stayed there all night.
Yesterday I put him down for his nap and he was fine, didn't try to get out and was still in there when I wen to get him. Again last night he went off ok, but this morning we found him asleep behind his bedroom door. I have tried to put him down for nap this monring at 11am and nearly an hour later, lots of tears and screaming, he still isn't asleep, I have been in 3 times and cuddled him, but although he is not crying now he is still banging around in his room.
He has always been a good sleeper and loved his cot, so I am at a loss as to what to do! Is there some kind of method I should be using to to do this, or do I just need to be patient and stick with it til her gets used to it?

[mabel1973]

p.s. forgeot to say - he is 18 months old

[cardy]

We have just done this with our 24 mth old. The first few nights were OK but now she has taken to getting up in the middle of the night (3am this morning) and coming into our bed. Generally she'll have a drink then go back to bed eventually. I am putting it down to the novelty of being able to get out of bed so just trying it on. I don't have any answers, we are just hoping that things will improve with time. I am not sure whether reverting back to a cot would help?

I also used the 'now you are a big girl you can go into a bed like yout big sister'. Which sometimes works sometimes doesn't. As I put her in bed at night she usually says 'no bed, cot'. I guess we just have to keep trying.

[NikkiH]

We went straight from cot to 'big boy's' bed in one fell swoop. We spent the few days before the swap over talking about how big they (I've two DS)were getting and won't it be exciting sleeping in a proper bed.

We then dismantled the cot, put the bed in its place complete with winnie the pooh duvet covers etc and they got in as happy as larry. The bed was up against the wall on one side and we put a removable bed guard thing on the other until they got used to it and they were fine.

Sorry - this probably isn't much help to you and might sound a bit smug which it's not intended to! I would err against going back into the cot though and maybe get a bed guard instead which could move with him to a bigger bed when the time comes.

[kitbit]

We too have an 18mth old and have been recommended to try the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley which apparently deals with the change from co-sleeping to cot, and also from cot to bed with a no-tears approach. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it...!! But my friend tried it with her very clingy dd and it took 3 weeks, and not a single tear. We've just ordered it on Amazon! Have also had other friends say it helped as it explains the psychology of what's going on in their minds and helps to suggest ways of achieving it without upsetting them. Here's hoping and good luck to you too!

[shazronnie]

Why not just buy another cot? (cheap and cheerful or 2nd hand) Your babe obviously needs the security of confinement!
My DS1 was 19 mths when DS2 was born, and I was tempted to put him in a bed, but I am glad I waited until he was ready.

[riab]

Why bother? I know that might sound flippant but if your child of under 4 sleeps well in a cot then as long as its a big enough one then why push them into a big bed?

Why not buy a new cotbed for your new baby? you will end up needing two junior beds at some stage.

[riab]

Why bother? I know that might sound flippant but if your child of under 4 sleeps well in a cot then as long as its a big enough one then why push them into a big bed?

Why not buy a new cotbed for your new baby? you will end up needing two junior beds at some stage.

[Novacane]

have to agree with shaz/riab etc.

My DS is 25m/o and I wouldnt dream of putting him in a bed yet. He sleeps so well and loves going into his cot on a night- it must feel so secure for him. He is a littly though, and has plenty of room to move around etc.

i would buy another cot bed- as another poster said, your going to need two junior beds anyway eventually

Nova x

[MrsDoolittle]

or a crib in your room - should give you another few months. I think 18 months is young

[nicnack2]

Hi Had ds2 in March. had started moving ds1 into 'big boys bed' in stages. moved from cot into cot bed for a few months the a big bed at the begining of the year. ds1 was happy at this though but if it had started disrupting his sleep pattern i would not have done it and made alternative arrangements for new baby Picked is own bed linen etc which helped.ds1 wil be three in july.

hope this helps

[Elibean]

DD was very clear about not wanting a big girl bed until she was about 26 months...she's now 29 months, and has been in one about a week. We bought a bed guard for it, and to be honest I think its made all the difference - she loves it, it must remind her of the travel cot she slept in at her gran's! Age must make a difference too though, so I agree with the suggestions for either cot or bedguard if keeping cot going is not practical for you. Good luck, its a big move!

[oliveoil]

I think 18 months is too little myself.

I had 22 months between dd1 and dd2 and used a moses basket and then a travel cot. Then when dd2 needed the cot I think dd1 would have been just over 2, maybe 27 months?, I made a big hoohar about her having the big room and the big bed as she was now the big sister etc etc.

It worked really well, she picked a quilt cover, all those little thing they love.

[Gem13]

If I were you I'd put him back in his cot and buy one for the baby from Ikea.

I have 18 months between my 2 and the eldest didn't go into his little bed until he was over 2.5. It made sense to keep him happy in his cot while we had a new baby and sleepless nights to cope with.

[flatmouse]

My dd went from cot to bed at 18 months. Altho cot was large she would wake up 4-5 times a night and we struggled to get her back down. In a bed, once we got her to sleep she stayed there.

Getting her to sleep was another matter and we struggled - she would get out of bed constantly. Eventually the technique worked of: if she gets out of bed shut (and hold shut) bedroom door. Calmly telling her (through the screams) that you will open the door if she gets back in bed - as soon as she does, door opens. This went on for a while (about a week) but then it was sorted.

[MrsDoolittle]

A friend of mine suggested putting a stair gate in the bedroom doorway.

[sugarfree]

Just put our DS3 into his own room in a big bed and he's 2.5.
We have some messing about and getting in and out but we have put a stairgate across the door so he can't wander too far.The worst part is picking all the books up from the floor in the morning(and I do mean all the books)
I think all of mine were between 2.5 and 3 so I do wonder if yours is quite ready yet.

[dinosaure]

mabel, in your shoes I would beg, steal or borrow another cot. I think 18 months is very young to move to a bed.

[mabel1973]

Thanks everyone for all your advice!
I have been out and bought a bed guard to see if that makes any difference. He is still in his cot, just without the side on for the moment.
He went down a bit easier tonight and haven't heard a peep so far. I think I will see how it goes over the next couple of nights
I don't really want to buy another cot, but we do have grandparents with Travel cots that we can borrow if necessary, when the new baby arrives.
I know he is young and it's impossble to explain to him what's going on, but I was concerned that if we waited til the new baby arrives and he get's turfed out of his cot then (which has got to happen one way or another at some point even if we did have 2 cots), he will take it worse than if we do it now.
Anyway - fingers crossed!